I grew up watching women watch T.V

I grew up watching women

watching men talking about me

They told me about my body

and they told me about my life

They told me what they want to here

That my choices are not mine

Sometimes when you watch the news

You don't always get the truth

For a young girl of color

It's just a form of abuse

Just because you’re rich,

and white,and powerful

Doesn't mean that you own me

Don't think that if you degrade me louder

I won't disagree

But I know that politics is different now

And I know that things will change

And a future with all my dreams inside

Isn't out of range

1.My legs ache from walking

My heart aches from breaking

What if I can't remember to forget you?

2.Mud forms underneath my fingernails

A poet would compare it to the way you have made yourself a home

underneath my skin

But I don't want to write poetry

I want to be clean

3.Trees tower over me

Sometimes I can not see the sky

The only proof I have that it exists

is the birds

I hear them sing

They must be flying somewhere,right?

Why have wings if you have nowhere to go?

4.Leaves crunch underneath my feet

The crackle is so satisfying to my ears

It's cynical, I suppose,

To want the leaves to be broken

Then again,

Better them than me

5.I pass a stream and it laughs at me

I used to love water

But you were an ocean

And your waves swallowed me up

until I forgot to how to breathe

I used to love the water

Now I am just afraid

6.Beware of Poison Ivy

It stems in groups of threes

With a red dot in the middle

Tall and stealthy vines

It will tell you that you're beautiful

And then leave you with a stinging burn

Beware of Poison Ivy

7.The wind whispers to me at night

Stories of other broken hearts

To remind me I am not alone

When it's cold enough

I can see my breath

Floating before me

To remind me I am still alive

8.Sometimes bugs land on me

And suck my blood

But most times I just hear them

An ominous buzz

I am starting to believe

That every time I think I've found my way out of this maze

The insects buzz around me

Until I am lost again

9.I always look for flowers

Whenever I find them I

always want to pick them

And put them on my pillow

so my dreams will smell sweet again

But then again,you picked me

And look what it's done so far

10.The sun rises over the horizon

My bones shift

Mud cakes my feet

Birds land on my shoulder

Leaves scatter through my hair

Vines and flowers form a crown

atop my head

Mother Nature is telling me I will be okay

I think that if you spend

enough time with plants

You too,

Will begin to grow

I still miss you

Everyday

But thing is,my love

You were an ocean

But I am the jungle

I remember how it used to be

The summer before you and me

I tasted sweet fruit from poison trees

The summer before you and me

I stood on cliffs and tasted the sea

The summer before you and me

I saw the summer as beautiful and free

The summer before you and me

Now all I see is debris

The summer before you and me

Back when the world was shades of green

The summer before you and me

Tell me,Why'd you have to leave ?

The summer before you and me

People are people

And we break our own hearts

And you will always be

My favorite work of art

People are people

And we all have to change

You once told me

“We all bleed the same”

People are people

And they can be good

So I'm leaving my footprints

On the places you stood

People are people

And they need to grow

I guess that's the reason

We must let go

People are people

And we hate goodbyes

Do you remember

When I made you cry?

People are people

And we're made to tell stories

I used to think we were soulmates

Before lines got blurry

People are people

And we all have regret

But I like to think that I'm lucky

We ever met

People are people

And it won't always work out

But you thought I was special

So I'll make you proud

People are people

And sometimes they change lives

I never imagined

Quite how much you'd change mine

The bell rings.

Students rush from their classrooms,

All uniform in their differences.

I stand out among them.

They are pristine,

I'm filthy

I walk bare foot,dirt smeared all over me,twigs in my hair.

One girl whispers "Is she lost?"

I'm not lost though.

I know exactly where I'm going.

Left corridor, five steps forward,three steps to the right.

Room 115 is exactly the way I remember it.

Billie Holiday still sings .

(I'll find you in the morning sun and when the night is new)

A battered copy of Stephan King's The Stand still rests on a book shelf.

(People who try hard to do the right thing always seem mad)

The F.D.R poster hasn't moved an inch.

(The only thing we have to fear is fear itself)

I'm home.

But something is different.

There are vines creeping all along the walls.

Trees and blossoms sprout from every corner.

I climb through branches looking for the source.

And I find it.

It's a letter.

Flowers have been cut out and glued around the words,

A hasty attempt to make the truth more pretty.

It's my letter

It's still here.

And he's still here.

My teenage self's version of a hero.

He's different too.

The plants from my letter have crawled onto him.

But I notice there is greenery from other places as well.

I guess even teachers need to learn.

"Welcome back,Kid."

He says like nothing's changed.

"I'm proud of you."

"Why?"

I ask him,gesturing to the mud all over me.

"I'm dirty."

"No" he says and grabs my hand

For the first time, I notice buds poking out of the dirt that cakes my skin.

The beginning of flowers

that will one day surround

thanks you's to teachers for

giving you a home.

"You're growing"

  I hope you move mountains.With your brilliance,with your beauty,with you gayness. but it is okay if you are not ready. It's okay to be confused or angry at the world for giving you such a misunderstood gift as being queer. All will be well in the end. Be patient if you're not in a safe environment to come out. Sneak around closed doors and hide. There is nothing wrong with hiding. It doesn't make you any less brave or your identity less valid.and when you do come out it is okay to be moderate in your gayness. Society has made queer and normal antonyms but it doesn't have to that way.Baby steps are okay.So exercise and laugh and lie a little if you have to,my loves,because in the end what matters is you are working towards a day where you can finally come out. 

  What's the difference between me and the stars ? The stars are not tired,the stars do not cry,the stars are not so sad that they no longer no what to do. It is 2:38 a.m and I dig through my old journals and it hits me.I no longer recognize my own writing. I am failing to be heard. The only thing I thought was mine is gone.Well,except for him. But I don't want to talk about that because he is not the reason I am killing myself. I am killing myself because life is bringing me down and nothing is feels right anymore. He did not break me.But,God,I hope he cries when I am gone.I hope he thinks of me for days and weeks and years.That he spends so much time outside,alone,that he becomes like nature.The stars and I,the only supervision to the way a person breaks,

       Yours Truly,

                         Flora Hayes,Period 9

There is always complication in history

There are always stories intertwined with stories

intertwined in the way we say goodbye.

History repeats and we all stand and watch it

It's funny how you never know the world is changing

until it's crammed inside your textbooks

History repeats and watches as we become it