The impossible in front of me, trying desperately to pull myself across the floor. Everything is so far away. Nothing is easily in reach. Pulling always pulling. Muscles not ready for it. Brain just in development. All of the effort possible and you end up just kicking your legs in the arm. All of your weight pressed into your belly. It is all you know. You miss the warm and the wet. I miss the warm and the wet. The safe place where you didn’t have to work so hard. Where you did not have to train. All you had to do was float and be consumed by the comfort.

But that time has passed, and now you spend your days pulling and straining, just like me.

My mind goes back to the moment, the moment I looked into your eyes and saw an entire world of love and acceptance. All of it for me.

I had convinced myself for years it would be the hardest thing to admit. The darkest part of myself opened and bleeding. Yet, you met me in love. Like it was the easiest thing in the world.

Then you broke the promise. You abandoned me to my darkness. You made me feel crazy for every believing you.

I loved you. I still love you with every cell that makes up me.

Years and years have passed and you still haunt my dreams. Your kiss stuck in my mind. Here is a chance once more, after all of this time to let you in. To trust you all over again:

Yet, you’ve already broken the promise. I cannot trust you not to break it again.