I don’t need millions,

I don’t need a millionaire.

I need a man who I can trust.

Who I can love, fight.

I need a man who next to him

I don’t feel I’m not enough,

who won’t cheat and lying.

I can be myself.

Crazy, rebellious, childish, honesty,

valuable.

These are huge wishes?

Respect, worry, love.

Why can’t people understand it’s not too much.

Racing to the finish line,

we often forget

to live in the moment.

Thus,

all glories missed,

all humour evaded,

we leave

with regression

and sadness.

My mom says I'm not allowed to carve pumpkins,

apparently our family is cursed.

My older brother doesn't like to listen,

or maybe his hearings the worst.

Because I saw him that night out in the barn,

sacrificing the pumpkin for fun.

He had carved out a Jack O' Lantern,

put it on, then pulled out a gun.

I know he didn't see me,

he probably thought I was in bed.

Then he headed to the house

with that scary Jack O' Lantern head.

I heard two shots and was to scared to move,

I silently cried as the cool air blew.

And after a few moments of eerie silence

One more shot rang true.

So I'm sorry,

but I can't carve a pumpkin with you.

My families cursed you see

and the curse will take what's due.

Why do you make me feel like my feelings are invalid

While everyone else's feelings aren't

Why do I feel like you don't favor me like you used to

And now you just favor them instead

Why do I feel worthless whenever I come for a visit

Why do I feel like I don't matter as a person

Why do I feel like you hate me

Why do I feel as if I need you to validate me

Why do I feel these feelings

Why is it so sickening and paining

Rotting in solitude,

I was gradually tearing down

Piece by piece,

Flesh by flesh

Neglected and rejected,

to nothing I shall be subjected

I'm just a mist of a woman,

of the one who was free

I'm all that is left,

bare bones for all to see

Yet no one can see me,

No one might even try

Some have skeletons in their closet,

I'm the one in mine

The moon shone bright

On this quiet winter night

It was cold and breezy

But then I saw your figure standing there in the dark

Sitting on a swing in the park

I decided to walk over to you

I asked you if you were cold

You said no but I could tell you really were,

So I wrapped my jacket around you anyways

We sat there for hours

Talking about anything and everything

Our feelings, our stories, our favorite foods

It was like a dream come true

And I'm pretty sure that's when I really knew,

That I loved you

And because of that quiet winter night,

We became something beautiful

Like the stars in the night sky.

I’m dying inside

Can you see it?

Can you feel it?

I feel it

It is my body

How do I say to my love?

What hurts me within?

Is it my heart?

My lungs?

My kidneys?

Or my gut?

I’m dying inside

Can you see it?

Can you feel it?

I feel it

It is in my body

How do I describe?

How do I put it in words?

The pain is excruciating

It keeps growing

It moves momentarily

But it definitely expands

I’m dying inside

Can you see it?

Can you feel it?

I feel it

It is within my body

Is it the fear of losing?

Or the fear of leaving?

I can’t make sense anymore

Every piece of me is brittle

I’m dying inside

Can you see it?

Can you feel it?

I feel it

It is within me

I’m dying inside

He can’t see it

He can’t feel it

I can

Something in me is dying

Burning embers sitting amongst the wood

Black and orange

From time to time a gold blue flame emerges

The wood crackles against the heat

As the fire burns

The glow is calming to the spirit

The smell like a natural perfume

As the wood burns

The embers glow a red orange color

With a slight stream of white gray smoke

Reaching up towards the sky

It’s a moment of true bliss

To be treasured

Always

every other word is an echo; memories burned on hollow bones

life's an endless spiral. i'm not crazy, i know; but stability hates me

& it's crushing me. i've lost over twenty pounds in months less

than your fingers can hold; my mother's screaming, saying silence

can't be your diet. rub the makeup off my face, ask me six months ago

i thought i know where'd i go. whisper my name now, i'll cry.

nothing's the same yet there's still an outlining. you cannot love

a broken girl; she doesn't want you tumbling down her unpaved roads.

plant a tree for the memories, care for it as your own; perhaps one day

she'll be there to watch it grow.

what keeps reality frigid, is knowing it was real; that the heart bleeds,

even if time dries it out. selfishly i ask for a moment, a dime to hold

in a future when she's stitched up enough to be considered as whole;

not a fantasy ending - she never quite believed in those, just a

friendly reminding, of a time you were there when she needed a hand to hold.

you've become a piece of her soul; but you need to let her go.