There’s a double standard for everything
You can do a thing, but it’s wrong if I do it
You control every aspect of my being, but get upset when I refuse to let you
I can’t be my own person
I HATE YOU!!
You have ruined my life entirley
I hate how you raised me to be this way
I can’t make decisions on my own because of you
I couldn’t do anything without your permission or else it would have been a sin
Money was our biggest issue...
You wanted, but didn’t have
I had because I got off of my lazy ass and worked for my money
You made my financial decsions
You put my money towards your bills
But when I tried to stop you, I was somehow the monster
I HATE YOU WITH EVERY ASPECT OF MY BEING!!
You threatened to take what was mine, this is the last straw
I have put up with it enough
DON’T CALL ME AGAIN!
Now my life is fucked up because of you
I can’t wait to see your face when you see what I have become despite the verbal abuse
This is my goodbye, I never want to see you again, mother
I hope you rot in Hell.
All is Lost
The mind is gone, the heart has died
The body is still there
I moves about mechanically
Dead on the inside
Nothing left but the machine
The body that once housed the soul of a beautiful mind
The body never left
The body stayed even after that beautiful mind left
What a shame
To lose such a beautiful mind
It happens far too often, we lose a beautiful mind or kind hearts...
And all we are left with is a mechanical corpse of what was and never again will be
When I look in the mirror, it’s not my reflection staring back at me, it’s his
He haunts my very being
I’m his doll, his toy
I’m his plaything
I’m his loyal servant
He’s manipulative, but no one can resist his eyes
Those eyes draw you near and his power keeps you close
Once he has you, you can never return to how your life used to be
He will hunt you down for sport
You mustn’t even think of betraying him for he can hear your thoughts.
He will torture you to his heart’s content and never let you die
He will torture you so much so, some have either began to enjoy the pain he inflicts and those that can’t bear it anymore and beg him for the Sweet release of death
If you get to know him well enough, you’ll come to realize that he has a kind heart.
He is my Master
Everything he tells me to do will be done exactly as he wishes
He’s my Lord I would never think of betraying him
Even though I have never even thought of betraying him, he still tortures me
He says this is to keep me by his side because I am so strong-willed a part of me hates the pain that he inflicts upon me, but I know it works at keeping me by his side because the other part of me actually enjoys the pain.
Only he can make me feel that way
Only he can inflict any kind of pain upon me If anyone so much as tried to lay a hand on me, they would become our dinner
I will forever belong to my Master
I will forever be by his side
Notes From a Dead Author
I write my poems as if I have already died
I write as though I am detailing my life, rather the lack there of
I musn't seem too lively, for I have died
If I were alive, then my writing would reflect such mediocre happiness
I can't write about something I have never felt
I have died...
I am dead and gone
Even though my mortal body has decayed, my words will live on Forever
When you're dead, you have a different appreciation of your life that once was
You realize that there are so many things you wish you had done, and some you wish you hadn't done.
Those that are alive haven't been able to truly see life as it is
When you have died is when you can truly be happy
All of the dead and dying authors can understand that life is a beautiful thing
All of the dead and dying authors can experience true happiness
Those that experience 'happiness' whe they're alive are experiencing a false happiness
I know my words may seem controversial to many, but all of my fellow dead authors will understand my words
They can understand the feeling of dying
They can understand the thoughts of losing everything they have worked so hard for
They take my words to heart
Because they can tell just by reading the author's work, whether or not they have died
Tired of Trying
I loved seeing your vibrant blue eyes and your beautiful smile
You're my everything
I hate that my last memory of you was us arguing over trivial issues
I hated that you brought up the issue
I hated how I continued the argument
I hated seeing those beautiful blue eyes fill with tears
I hated seeing those beautiful blue eyes drain of color
I'm sorry for arguing, I'm sorry for hurting you
I am so sorry for breaking your heart
I am so sorry
I loved you through everything...
Even though at times it sure as Hell didn't seem like it
I won't ever stop loving you
I won't ever forget you
I promise I will change
I promise.... I promise to change, just please come back to me
Please come back to me, stay by my side
I won't raise my voice anymore
I won't curse anymore
I won't make the same mistakes as last time
I know you told me many times, "I am tired of trying",
But our love is worth fighting for
I know I have made mistakes in the past, but I won't make those mistakes ever again
You have helped me realize my wretched ways and helped me change
Please come back to me
I will put the color back in your beautiful blue eyes
I will put the smile back on your face
Please... Please come back
I always wanted a heart of stone
Because I hated having my heart ripped to shreds in front of me
I was sick and tired of picking up the pieces and stitching them back together
But, I couldn't live my life without loving someone
Sure, I could live for awhile without loving someone
But, one day my special someone would come by and I have already blown my chance because I cannot love
If the price I pay for Love and being alive is to pick up the pieces and stitch them back together everytime it breaks, that's a price I'm willing to pay.
My First, My Last, My Everything
She messaged me so many times that day
I loved reading all of her sweet messages
When she saw me her face lit up
And her beautiful blue eyes cried tears of joy
She embraced me intensely...
She didn't want to let me go
...Not This Time...
She wanted me, and by God, was she going to have me
She wanted to make me hers forever
She made me hers from that day on...
She embraced me intensely
She held my hands and whispered the sweetest thing anyone could ever hope for
She said,"I Love You"
It made my heart skip a beat
She smiled the sweetest smile
It made my heart melt
She said," I'm glad you're mine"as she kissed me
I found the necklace and map to a beach in a box addressed to me with no return address
It seemed strange ...
It was strange
What did this beach and this necklace have to do with me?
I couldn't shake the feeling that I had seen that necklace before
Memories flash through my mind at lightning speed
I still can't figure out the connection
I am curious to see
The only way to find out is to go to the beach
I drove for several hours, and finally made it to the beach
However, it was nighttime
The beach was beautiful underneath the moon's glow
What's more, there was a beautiful song being played on a violin
I was entranced by it, I followed the sound of the song
Until I came upon a mysterious stranger
Dressed in a black suit with a black hat that cast a shadow over his face
That shadow made it even harder to see who he was
Why was he here?
Why was he playing a violin on the beach at night?
Was he here for me?
Why would he be here for me?
So many thoughts ran through my mind, befor he spoke
His voice was calm and sweet
His voice calmed my quivering heart
He said, "So you finally decided to show up?"
"You know, I have waited here for you for awhile?"
"I waited everyday for ten years to remember ".
"I waited everyday for ten years in the same place for you to come back".
I said, "I'm sorry sir, I don't know who you are?"
He said, "Oh trust me, you know who I am".
He took off his hat so that the moon shown on his face making it clear just exactly who this mysterious stranger was
"Do you remember now?"
I did remember
He was the part of me that I tried to kill so long ago
The necklace was the gift I was going to give my wife for our anniversary
The beach is where we got married
The song on the violin was the song that we danced to on our wedding day
It was also the song my wife wanted to have played at her funeral
She died fighting heart disease
She died and left me alone
I tried to kill those thoughts
The way was to kill the other part of me
Now is my last chance to kill him or I might find myself too overcome with grief and self pity that I might never recover