I watch you from afar

Full of elegance and grace

To me you are a star

I've memorized your face

I dream of holding you

Yet, merely beholding you

Is my dream come true

Longingly lonely

Looking at you

Your crystalline eyes are

Just the thing to make me  complete

Lined up in a jar

So nice and neat

Longingly lonely 

looking at you

  Abigail really loved her job. Of course it wasn't the career she wanted but as far as a way to make extra money until she finished college she was glad she'd found it. A lot of her friends were doing jobs that they hated so she considered herself lucky that she had found a maid's job at this little airport hotel.

  She'd never thought of herself as a voyeur but maybe she was and that's why she enjoyed her job so much. Cleaning up after people gave her a small, momentary glimpse into their lives. 

  Being an airport hotel, guests were in and out relatively quickly and didn't usually bother to send for their forgotten items (other than jewelery).

  An avid reader, Abigail  loved finding the books people discarded. She had quite an eclectic collection of mystery novels, romance, self-help,  you name the genre she probably  had at least one.The left behind clothing wasn't quite the treasure trove that the books were but she did find some rare gems, like that beautiful pashmina scarf she gave to her mother last May, and that funky tie that Marcus now called his "lucky" tie. 

  Of course there were the "naughty" items, the things some people were into really amazed her, but she found it entertaining to imagine the everyday non-vacation lives of the people these items belonged to. Like that unassuming, middle aged couple who looked like they'd stepped out of a Midwest postcard but had left behind that wild looking contraption. She imagined them as hard working farmers who escaped once a year to live out their wildest fantasies far from the sanctity of their home.

  Her favorite thing by far to find were the photographs. Sure, some were pornographic, she disposed of those, but the happy,  smiling, vacation photos were her favorite. It would probably seem strange to others that Abigail collected strangers' memories. She loved spending time perusing the personal lives of these people at their best and happiest. She liked to hope that these were true glimpses into real happiness. 

When do we admit that it's no longer planning, but procrastination?

 How do we learn to be continuously motivated and not just do things in spurts?

 How do we shed this sin of sloth and become the motivated contributor we're meant to be?

 There's no rush, you can give me the answer, when you get around to it.

I see you

My breath is taken away

My heart is not my own

You are in my every thought

No matter where you go

Or what you do

My love is true

Unconditional

  No, you don't know me, but I know you. You don't believe me. Nobody thinks that it can happen to them. ' I would know if someone was watching me or had been in my house. I'd sense it.' You didn't. I was there. I've BEEN there.

  I first noticed you last month. You smiled at me. That's what caught my attention. I'm not the type of guy pretty girls smile at. Sneer, yes, or avoid altogether, but not smile. You were wearing that lovely yellow sun dress. The one you haven't been able to find. The one I'm going to have you put on now. 

  I've been watching you. Always kind and helpful. So friendly and giving. Constantly surrounded by friends. (It was difficult to find you alone). Always smiling. Smiling every morning when you and that room mate of yours would take that hideous dog out for a jog. Even smiling as you toweled your hair after your morning shower. Did someone, your mother perhaps, tell you you're prettier when you smile? 

    Most people scowl as they ride the bus to work. Not you, you even gave up your seat for me, once (with a smile).You wouldn't recognize me. I had the cane, and glasses; my hair was different too. I told you. You don't know me. 

  I have a confession to make, I lied to you, when I came to see you tonight, at the clinic where you volunteer. My name's not really Albert and Mother didn't die today. No, she died several years ago. It was quite tragic. You see we were out for some mother son bonding time, hiking. She wandered off, I  searched but couldn't find her, of course I called the authorities right away! But by the time we'd found her it was too late. You see she'd fallen down a ravine and struck her head pretty hard. As I said, quite traggic. Anyway it was so kind of you to stay and sit at the park to comfort me after they closed the clinic.

   You're not smiling now. I prefer that.

   I'm the one your parents warned you about. I'm THAT stranger. 

Dear diary,

  OMG! Today  was totally weird! First of all Jess must've changed my alarm tone. 'Walking on Sunshine' ugh! She knows I HATE that song! And of course the stupid guy at the dry cleaners couldn't get that spot out so then I couldn't wear my lucky blouse for my big presentation. I mean that completely through me off and at that point I was running super late!

  There must've been some massive citywide celebration last night 'cuz everyone's either sick, grumpy or both. Some grody hungover guy was seriously puking right at the bus stop. (Bus people are soon gross!) Even the hot guy at the coffee shop messed up my order, twice, didn't secure the lid properly, and nearly caused a stain on my back-up lucky blouse. As I turned to get my own napkins, I was horrified to realize, I'd forgotten my phone!!

   Not surprisingly things didn't improve once I got to work. Who wants to start their day in a tiny elevator full of sickies? It really made me wish I'd had one of those Asian bird flu masks. And I think that creepy nerd from IT was touching my hair or something 'cuz he scratched my neck, So Nasty! Longest elevator ride ever!

  Almost immediately after I got off of the elevator Michael and Joe got into an argument, which isn't unusual, but what was weird was how it turned so violent so quickly. I had to hop aside as security came to break it up! They should be fired! (I could've gotten hurt!). Maybe they were because they certainly weren't there for my presentation, for that matter there were a lot of people missing, even Tabbby (so rude!).The people who did show up may as well have been absent too. And that cow, Tara just sat there like zombie through the whole thing! Mr. Collins was even called out right in the middle for some "emergency". I don't know why I even bother, my talents are obviously being wasted at that company!

   As I walked back to my cubicle I could hear arguments and even wrenching sounds, people really shouldn't come to work sick, they're gonna end up infecting the whole office! Apparently not everyone who works there is brain dead because overall there really weren't many people around. I was just going call and make sure Tabby was o.k. then duck out myself. Why should I bother to work when no one else was?

  Of course my phone was here at home so I had to use the office land line. It took me forever to remember how to work the stupid thing (but I certainly wasn't going to call that IT creep for help). I finally got an outside line when I realized that I don't know anyone's number. I tried to look the number up online but of course the computers were down. I'd have to check on her when I got home.

  You would think getting out of a nearly abandoned building would be a piece of cake, well not today! No elevator service, I had to take the stairs! The IT creep WOULD be skulking around in the star well. He actually grabbed me!  He pulled me toward him, I almost wretched, he smelled worse than I could've imagined! I think he was coming in for a kiss! I kneed him in the groin and got out of there! HR is definitely going be hearing about this!

  I finally made it outside! I have never seen such madness! It's a good thing I don't live far from the office because the streets were deadlocked. It looked like a 'gross' pride parade had run amok. There was so much riff raff just everywhere. People were assaulting each other right in the street in broad daylight! And these people were the dirtiest ugliest bunch I've ever seen. The cops weren't able to control anybody, in fact I saw a cop actually tackle one of the few other normal people who were there. Then this gnarly looking street gang caught sight of me and came towards me! That was enough for me I started to run home. I was actually beginning to feel a little panicky! Luckily, for me, they spotted some old lady and started after her instead! It was like that the whole way home, I know I sound paranoid but it seemed like every loser in the city was out and out to get me! I mean kids are freaky naturally but a group of filthy, probably lice ridden,  eight year olds moaning and shuffling after you like rabbid animals is downright terrifying!

  Now I'm safely at home. Locked in tight, thank God! I called Tabby to see how her "sick" day was but my call wouldn't go through. I'm just gonna take a hot shower, and put this horrible day behind me. 

  I think I'm gonna be the one calling out tomorrow. I'm really not feeling well at all!

Way back in 1979 when I was in Mrs. Obrien's second grade class we had a bring your favorite toy to school day. I was so excited, I knew that I had the coolest toy! My grandmother had given me a Dapper Dan doll. Dapper Dan is a flat plush doll with the cutest smile and the best outfits. I loved him because he was unique and especially because of Grandma.

I would push him in my carriage and walk around holding his soft little hand and dress him. I especially remember his little denim pants and plaid shirt. 

I proudly brought Dan ( dressed in his yellow rain coat,boots, and hat) to school with me, excited to show my classmates just what a cool toy I had. They didn't get it. They teased me for being a girl with a "boy" doll. I hid Dan under my desk chair for the rest of the day, embarrassed. Fortunately that didn't taint our relationship  Dan and I continued to play together for years to come and he still holds a special place in my heart!