I hold stones in my hands and lucidly wonder where to cast them... Gems to my artistic eye, and wondering mind-- stupidly letting a few fall through my fingers. Bringers of aimless ponderings on probabilities and possibilities, these stones. Tones within my synapse in a relapse of liabilities and recent hostilities. Sure the responsibilities aren't on me, but I dream of human equality not masquerading frivolity.

I digress, and get back to laying these rocks to rest. Pressed to my palm, those that remain in my hands, are the ones that keep me calm. Bomb-shell the hell out of me and I won't rile. Guile, compassion, understanding and curiosity are the stones which remain. Insane as it may sound, letting the other ones hit the ground doesn't mean they're forgotten.

|| another-proser ||

I hold stones in my hands

and I lucidly wonder

where to cast them

Should I throw it over the vast sea

and test how deep the water is?

Or should I climb the

high mountains and

see how far it goes?

I closed my eyes as I reminisce

my early childhood days

I remember being asked

What do you want to be?

And I never really answered it

Up to now I couldn't answer

Too coward, terrified that they would just laugh at me

If I followed my heart

Will I be where I am right now?

Will I be able to attain what I wanted to achieve?

Will it change how they perceived me to be?

I never followed my heart

And though I am not satisfied

I am happy with how my life turned out to be

I still hold the stones in my hands

I still have the chance

and I lucidly wonder

where to cast them

Is this the right time

to take the risk of losing them?

I hold stones in my hands and lucidly wonder where to cast them. Could I break the window with the yellow drapes? No--I'll just kill someone down below. Maybe they deserve to die. What if I kill someone on their way to kill their boss. I could be an unsung hero of the potential future--but what if the boss deserves to die?

What if I killed her. . . The Her. The Her that bought the stupid little fountain that trickles over the rounded stones I was now holding. What if she died? I want her dead but . . . I don't want her 'dead' dead. I wish I was dead. No, I want to live.

I still don't know why the fuck she left.

I poured over all the reasons and nothing makes sense. We fought . . . We fought about how I don't take risks, I was too safe, she needed more. She needed more?

I can do more. Here's a risk--

My arm swung and a little stone flew into the air, glinting in the light. It was black with green veins streaking through it. I always liked that one. Damn.

You're better than me

In every way shape or form

And you're everything I want to be

The words you sung with the choir

Strung from your mouth

So elegantly

They looped and dipped and weaved through the crowd

Like some sort of

Hypnotized crocheter

Imagine that,

You can form quilts with your voice.

Your fire inside

I guess

Burned too brightly for me

It burnt my skin and left me black but most of all

It highlighted my insecurities

I'd love to be the one to fan your flames and rejuvenate your soul

But I think we all know I'd do nothing but suffocate you and cause your fire to blank out

From lack of oxygen

It's ironic though

You're the one who left me in the dark

I hold stones in my hands and lucidly wonder where to cast them, these heat-glowing earth-bones burning my hands in the odd shape of sins. The pain keeps my mind sharp as razor wire, hyper-sensitive to every nuance of subconscious reality unfolding before me.

"I'm aware of my dreaming," my dream-self keeps thinking, tightening her grip on the stones, just an itch-of-a-throw's away from being cast into another pond of plenty-to-be-sickened-by. "Let it steam. Reveal what hides beneath. Confess like I burn and bleed."

The pain feels cleansing, kissing earth-bone to human-bone and still, my dream-self calculates where to throw each stone. "Tell me where you belong," she hums, unconcerned with her hands, no more than bones blackened and browned by the stones; she has no desire to hurry them along.

"One for profit, one for pride, one for the cowards who always hide." I find my dream-lips singing, those bones letting go of the stones almost fleetingly, "one for pollution, one for destruction, and one for humanity's 'ownership' notion."

In surprising revelation, I saw my own hand's regeneration, once the last stone was cast. And in that reality, I came to see, those stone's weren't mine to begin with.

I hold stones in my hands and lucidly wonder where to cast them. Yet still am I confined to this ghostly setting were trees walk by with clawed root. What horror is this that shambles past with nary a glance. I look out as a stream trickles gently past and on some lost whim I toss the stones with no thought for where they may fall.

The first sinks into the stream causing it foam and rage as if in anger, I step back. The second stone hits the far bank and rolls where it will, coming to rest over a leaf.

I gaze at my handiwork as the sky darkens in ominous retort to my carelessness, and I sense an impending gloom is about to befall me in my peril.

The remaining stones clatter as they fall into a deep hole that has appeared as from nowhere. I take a further backward step, for does not a stairwell lead down into the hole, as the stream now roars at my affront. But no, I am no fool to trust myself below ground with no escape from the beast which beckons me to follow.

I surrender to the torrent.

Sitting in the corner

The corner of the classroom

The corner of cafeteria

The corner of gym

The corner of playground

Always watching from afar,

Always wondering

Wondering why am I

So different, different

That I can't make a friend

That I can't be part of

SOMETHING

Bruised and broken

Soul shattered

Heart mended

Scars deepen

And I'll never, never

Be the saaaaaaaaaaaaaame

I've been taunted

I've been punched

I've been kicked DOWN

And a push come to a shove

I fall, and I fall, and I fall

Yet, I still stand

Yet I still keep on

Smii-iiii-ii-iiiiiilling and trrrrrrrrrrrrrying

I put on a smiling mask,

Covering my crying face

And I wear dark sweater,

Covering scars and wounds

A baggy jeans to hiiiiiiiiide

My skinny legs

2x

Bruised and broken

Soul shattered

Heart mended

Scars deepen

And I'll never, never

Be the saaaaaaaaaaaaaame

Everyone is numbed,

Deafening and everyone

Is bliiiiiiiiiiiiiind

To my agony soul,

Screaming heart,

And crying face

3x

Bruised and broken

Soul shattered

Heart mended

Scars deepen

And I'll never, never

Be the saaaaaaaaaaaaaame

All I want, all I want

Is somebody, somebody

To understand me

All I want, all I want

Is somebody, somebody

To hold me

And SAY

'Don't go, just STAY'

3x

Bruised and broken

Soul shattered

Heart mended

Scars deepen

And I'll never, never

Be the saaaaaaaaaaaaaame

A piece of rotten fruit. A folded orange collared shirt. A drop of blood on a blue bed spread. Folded magazines. Glossy smiles and sweet skin. Red walls and a bare room. The sheets are bunched in one corner of the room. The magazines in the other corner.

Things found.

Brown, swollen eyes and shaking hands. A busted lip and a label stuck between his lips. A thing he does not understand.

Something in the dark.

Down the hall from this room a man is crying. He smells of vodka, sick, and grief. He sits beside a man who takes the label from him. Takes it and makes it nothing.

Things of which to be careful.

But these things found are not as grave as you should believe. This is but a small page in a very long book.

Still this plastered man believes his life has finally come to a close. Watching his father die.

The only thing that keeps me going

Is knowing that someday

I'll get my very own Happily Ever After

And you'll still be stuck in the castle

Because you were waiting on your savior in shining armor

That never came to save you

While you were weeping out the window

I was outside taming the dragon

While you were marking the days on the wall

I was building a bridge to make it across the moat

Sure I got a few splinters and burns

But now I'm free

And you're still stuck

In your Unhappily Ever After

Now I've tamed the dragon

And I fastened a saddle to its back

I've got the clouds ripping through my hair

And the atmosphere wrapped around my body

And you're still stuck in the castle

Choking on smoke and fumes

Waiting, waiting, waiting…

Yo, I'm a traveling magician and Happen have found a dollar in Your hand, you can keep it, no Really! It's ok.

Afternoon Miss,

Need any help?

Yeah, it can be hard raising a kid.

Everything ok?

You look as if you've lost a bid.

But please don't be mad, he was.. Just fixing a mistake, learn he did.

Wish my kids were that smart, Although they are all cats.

I have things to magic, and places To make farts, so here's my card for A rainy day, at your service,

Captain Stray