It's a constant reminder
I'm swimming in the cooker
Anxiety building higher
My heart is an overstuffed pot
The steam from my soul is boiling hot
My thoughts are on a constant simmer
The heat of life overwhelms my inner
In this pressure cooker I'm living
My emotions are so unforgiving
My worries and fears fill the pot
My sadness is all that I've got
The pressure cooker is all I see
The heat of life is drowning me
I'm trying to find a way to escape
But I'm stuck here in this boiling state
I love sweet things, he was bittersweet,
His compliments and love were so neat.
I loved him, and I still do today,
But the sweetness has slowly gone away.
The sweetness had begun to fade,
His words were harsh and his moods were grave.
My throat was sore, my words were burned,
What I thought was sweet, had suddenly turned.
Too much of a good thing can be bad,
This I learned as I grew sad.
I used to love him, I still do,
But too much of his sweetness was not true.
It's time to accept this bittersweet truth,
Too much of a good thing is not so smooth.
I love him, I always will,
But it's time to accept this bitter pill.
My head is filled with a million thoughts,
I am so far from being caught.
My heart is void and numb
the pain of being different has become.
I am mocked each day by my family,
they do not like me anymore,
ever since I started to actually be me,
and control my life.
I wonder how I can go back to who they want
when I am numb.
My emotions are so far away
I cannot seem to feel today.
I am in a state of nothingness,
where I feel no happiness.
I feel so numb inside,
I just want to run and hide.
I don't know how to escape
this feeling of numbness and hate.
I am tired of being numb,
I just want to feel something.
I want to feel alive and free,
to be able to be me.
Devil in Disguise
He was pure evil, a devil in disguise,
Some mistook him for Satan himself,
He was a wolf in sheep's clothing,
He wanted me to be perfect, while he was corrupted and full of lies.
He wanted me, but I wanted none of him,
I could see right through his disguise,
A wickedness so deep within,
That I had to open my eyes.
He acted like an angel of light,
But his true motives were so dark,
I had to run away from his sight,
And never look back.
I am no angel myself,
But I know not to let a devil tear at my heart,
I had to find strength and self-help,
And away from him I had to part.
When I was born, my ears busted,
I listened to music as loud as it can go,
My ears could not take the sound, so they just bust.
I do not have to worry about that anymore,
I am deaf, I cannot hear the combustion
But I can feel it in my heart and soul.
The heat of the spontaneous combustion,
Burning flames that spread and increase,
The sparks of the deafening explosions,
Creating a chaotic scene.
I feel the heat of the fire,
I can feel it in my veins,
The soundless combustion,
Making me numb with pain.
I try to block it out,
But it still lingers on,
The silent combustion,
That will never be gone.
I may not be able to hear it,
But I can feel its power,
The silent combustion,
That will forever tower.
One hot and brandy-sweetened night,
The air was warm with a gentle breeze,
The stars were out, a magical sight,
The moon shone down, so bright and please.
The waves rolled in, ever so soft,
A cool mist arose, evaporating fast,
The night was alive, with an almighty roar,
The fireflies flew, a shadow of the past.
The night was alive with such a sweet smell,
Of brandy, and honey, and of course, wine,
The birds sang a tune, such a delightful jest,
The stars twinkled, so divine.
The night was so peaceful, and so still,
No one around, no one to hear,
The night was so special, one of a kind,
A night to remember, so near and dear.
Three winters ago he was shy,
His heart shyly beating, so close to mine.
Two winters ago, we started dating,
My heart soaring, our love delighting.
But last winter he turned into a monster,
His heart hardened, his love fizzling out.
He became something he hated the most,
His father, his spirit now so dark and cold.
Before he was sweet like a doe,
His love swamping me, bringing me joy.
Now he is a wolf, going to eat me,
My heart breaking, my spirit so low.
Something happened that morning
That left a child forever scarred
A man's win, a child's loss
The family demanding answers
Her family thought she ran away
Until knowing the dreaded truth
The child is back home and safe
But in her heart, she's not here
Her innocence taken away too soon
The pain that sets in is far too deep
The child is gone, but her spirit still lives on
To tell the story of her misery and hurt
That will be remembered forever more.
The morning of her loss will never be forgotten.
Giving was never an option.
There is this one girl in our family. She has the most beautiful brown eyes and brown hair, as she is told by the whole family. The girl was different from the rest. Different that made the whole family against her. She always wanted to cut her hair, beautifully long brown hair that did not suit her mind. She was never once allowed, not even a little trim. People always complimented her slim figure, the figure she hated, people wanted her to be a model, she wanted to become an author. Everyone had these high expectations for her, but over the years she started seeing her true self. She knew her family's strong beliefs, so, she masked her true feelings. Saying thank you to the compliments that made her insecure, smiling when she knew her one dream could never come true. This made her angry, at anyone. Anger just wanting acceptance. Though, don't they all? Going on her phone made her more and more depressed, seeing how other teens were living her dream. She was yearning for a new life... university will be her ticket out, though she needs to finish two more years of high school first. She lies awake each night thinking what her family would think if she actually followed her dream, they would certainly disown her. Would her mom ever look at her the same? What would happen to the close bond she had with her cousin's and Aunties? What about her grandparents? There were so many questions, too many. Too many for her to go through alone. The amount of 'what ifs' were draining her energy, why was this so hard? She just wanted to be normal and loved. Can she not be given that?
I know all of this because I am her, and that 'her' is him.