broken Bell
Sometimes I feel
like a broken bell
Heavy and scuffed
But still shining
In the light
The sound isn’t
As strong as it was
But the tremors feel
Almost the same
When I ring
Up high in a tower
Looking down on
Spires and roofs
And poison ivy
And oak trees
What’s easiest to see
From all the way up
Is that everything else
Is broken too
Death of Knowledge
What once was can no longer be
The glimmering shadow of creativity
There’s no more learning and no more thought
But more excuses on why we should not
Maybe one more class, maybe just more time
I could have learned to poem without a rhyme
You gave us a choice and knowledge is dead
And now on all of my words will stay in my head
The school of thought is no longer alive
But it still attracts us bees like a honey hive
An elegy for a class, I know it’s dramatic
But it’s like digging up old work from the attic
Dusty, dim, and sometimes boring
Yet always calms when my heart starts pouring
May 8th, 2023
Platinum & Glass
We tried so hard, but as you already know
Sometimes everything is simply not enough
Living in an idealistic perspective that happens to be
More fictive than fact.
But that’s okay, it’s okay we didn’t know
That exhaustion doesn’t equate to fulfillment
That from pain, peace rarely comes
That all of our trying would be in vain
We could have had it all, but I believe
We would still feel exactly the same.
We would act the same, talk the same,
piss the same, and cry the same
We would just be in a house of platinum
Rather than our house of glass
But it’s the fragility that brings me hope
When it comes to our glass house
Because in a platinum house
We could never break free.
An Apology to a Formerly Hopeful Person
I’m sorry.
But how was I
Supposed to know
That the pain never goes away?
You tried so hard
You lied so much
You cried in the
Arms of injustice
Had I known
That effort
Only works in vain
Had I known
The investments
Were futile-
We could have given up
Before it started
“Ignorance is Bliss”
They say
But bliss cannot be attained
In a cyclone of
False confidence
and
Contrived purpose
I never meant
To keep your hopes high
I never meant to
Covet that mysterious
phantom idealism
I never meant any of it
And while reaching
For the truth
Life up to now
Feels like a
Waste of time.
April 24th, 2023
Reasons
The lack of heat from your touch
The lack of love from your breath
The lack of energy from your heart
The abundance of humiliation
The abundance of disappointments
The abundance of low expectations
The way the light fades from your eyes
The way your holding hand feels ajar
The way you love others, other than me
How I’ve never felt so hated, from once being sacred
How I’ve changed my idea of the look of love
How I’ve not said anything because I’m scared
These are the reasons, these are the signs
This is how I know
That you don’t love me anymore.
May 11th, 2023
Dissonance
Shrapnel amongst the scent of human error
Yet we will never live in a state of terror
The lucid calls of annihilation
Coveting nuclear chores, and radiation
The silent eyes of a shafted eight billion
Cloaked in a sealed coat of vermilion
When doom is no longer feared yet ignored
No horror from the rich, beautiful, and bored
Masses of loss being leaked into the tap
And fountains that divinely project sticky red sap
March 6th, 2023
Dear Vincent
Poem Inspired By:
Wheatfield with Crows
By Vincent Van Gogh
Dear Vincent,
Your wisps
Of wheat
Paint dirt
With green
Putting on
A great display
Of your nature
Lines of Blue
In thick broad strokes
That make
No sense mixed with
Beiges and browns
But somehow
You make the scene
Perfectly
Understood
Black crows
That overtake
The landscape
The whistling air
The rustling wefts
Of dried wheat
Your hearty strokes
Softly creating
Hills and crevasses
That easily entice
Dear Vincent,
Please tell me
About your
Heaven on earth
You’ve shown enough
But I’d love to hear
Dear Vincent,
They say that
It’s your last
Maybe that’s why
It feels so lonely
Dear Vincent,
Share your loneliness
Display your pain
The purest of hearts
In the wheatfield
Where you bled
May 11th, 2023
Shames of Night/Pains of Day
I couldn’t have it any other way,
The thoughts that make my stomach sing
Don’t feel so clean under the light
Desires that don’t dare leave
The lockbox tucked away
Into the deep passages of my mind
It is only in the dark when I can
Swim in the infinity pool of
Impossibilities bestowing themselves
Like dancers at a masquerade
The feelings drift,
They never fade
They take me sailing, make me fly
The dreams I conjure in the night
The guilt that seeps but never shows
The hope that’s dead but always grows
Until the morning birds make their scene
And light breaks my vision like the holiest ever seen
And the shining dew drops on every blade
The reflection of every decision that we’ve ever made
The snake that stays wrapped around my soul
Awaits the moonlight in agitated form
Shames of the night slowly
Take their leave, waiting for their striking time
While pains of the day knock into place
Wishing that the sun would never set
If only it knew that the shames of night aren’t gone yet.
Feb 5th, 2023