And here I am, after 2 years, to share the stories about my heartbreak, loneliness in a new city, and laughs with strangers.

It's mid afternoon. I am on my bed down with fever, watching a series, and suddenly Google notifies me about a post that i wrote 3 years back and I was like, what's this? Did I write this? Yeah, I self-doubt myself a lot. I am not even sure if I can write but the posts made me realize that maybe I can. So, here's me -struggling with words, thoughts, and expressions.

A big hello to everyone around! Hope to see you guys a lot :) I mean in stories and words ;)

A few days ago me and my colleagues came across a rape case issue. And they asked me, “Why don’t you write on this topic?”

Convey our feelings and thoughts to the rape victims.

After giving a much thought, I decided that I won’t write giving them sympathy.

I mean, why should I?

Why should I waste my words and time on something that would be forgotten after 10 days?

Just like the candle march, my words would affect a few for a few days and then everything would be back to normal.

To a rape victim,

I know you might be hating me for this, being a human how can I be so mean to a human ?

But trust me, I really don’t sympathise with you.

Because I believe in my self more than the world around me.

You believe this candle march to give you a justice.

But I believe in getting justice for myself on my own.

Everyone supporting you today will eventually forget you on the 11th day.

You know what?

The biggest cause of being a rape victim is we seek for sympathy; we beg for help and this is what makes a rapist strong.

Be a soldier of your life!

Even if you have to die, die like a soldier who never fails to send his enemies to hell.

Don’t be a goddess, you don’t need to be.

Human being is a very powerful person and you have to trust your abilities.

If you can’t fight with them, fight with the world to give you the justice you owe them.

Be an angel but be ready to be a devil as well.

Don’t just be like a cotton, rather be a water soft and yielding. Because only a soft and yielding can wear down rigid and hard.

Ask for help but never beg for help!

Be a human that makes the rapists to be a sympathy seekers.

(Logo ko unpe daya aani chahiye tumpe nahi)

If they made you cry; make them cry tears of blood.

Be you and fight for yourself

Because this world is not gonna fight for you.

And one more thing,

You didn’t do anything wrong to face the humiliation.

You are a soldier and your self respect is your national flag which should only fly high in the sky.

Die but never let your flag down!

Stay strong! Stay you ☺

In this world of fire,

It gave me wings to admire

The one I was craving for

And the one that they lived by

Unaware of the doses prescribed, I took it daily;

Increasing it day by day for the pleasure I received.

But just like said, “An excess of anything is bad”

Such was it that made me mad.

Dreaming was the stage that defeated my senses;

Disconnecting was the stage that doomed my blesses,

Slowly; little by little,

It ended me, making me cripple.

For the sake of pleasure

I kept on going…

For the feelings I soaked

I embraced it more…

Only when everything was hollow;

With nothing to swallow

I realized, the one I craved for

Was always with me.

The healthy dose I hated

Was the one, they lived by…

It’s the bitterness that made them bubbly

Not the sweetness that was gloomy.

Now when they say, “Love gives you wings to fly”.

May be I am not yet ready to fly!

Deep in the sorrow,

With darkness all around

Bitter the taste,

Stronger the aroma

Is what I crave.

A fierce love

That makes my dopamine level go silly.

Rising endorphins,

Stimulating me

Is all it does!

Human can’t be he

As he is fresh-faced like a weed

Oh yeah! Coffee is all I need.

Often they leave us with empty mind and heavy heart.

They packs the suitcase that our memory keeps open, hoping it to be full.

Unaware that a human heart is never full...

A human departure is just like departing from a place.

Once we are done with the motto we arrived, we have to depart

not by leaving behind a piece of us but by taking along their memory...

Once a journey is over, our hearts are heavy but an excitment of a new arrival overpowers it.

Similarly, when a loved one departs, let’s keep our heart empty for a new arrival that’s on its way.

It’s not about what and whom we lost while departing, it’s about what we gained.

A freedom to fly in the sky.

A freedom to embrace the new arrivals with open arms.

A freedom to free yourself from all the ties.

Human beings are not a kite but a bird.

Don’t ever try to cage or tie them with threads of relation.

Let them fly, if yours they will come back

Or else, you will make a come back; high in the sky.

That’s what a true departure is....

Problems!

With you, we realize life ain’t a fairytale

though even fairies had to deal with evil forces...

Because you ain’t an evil force,

Instead a force which super charges our brain’s activity.

Without you, we would be a human with no mind.

It’s with you, we realize the importance of our intellect.

Without you, we would be a strengthless human..

It’s with you, we come to know about our strength...

Without you, we would be an emotionless freak,

It’s with you, we know what true emotions are...

Without you, Humans wouldn’t be humans...

It’s you that differs us from others....

Live your life the way you want;

Flirt, laugh, love and cry.

Everything has something to teach you...

Take risks and go for adventures

Because time won't come back and nor will the second chance.

No matter how bad the situation is

Experiences are always worth it..

Never regret anything in your life

as it's something you wanted at some time in your life.

Let me hold onto the smile

That came back after a long while...

Let my heart skip, skip a beat

For it was taken on, taken on by misentreat...

Let me laugh even on your behalf

For it knocked off my out laugh...

Let my tears roll, roll down the eyes

For it made me alive, after the lie goodbyes...

“Do you miss him?”, they asked.

”Ciaa, take care..

Now just go offline..

Okay BYE!

Did you go?

Yes, I was gone but came back for you..

Okay, so go back ...

Why did you call me then?

To irritate you... hahahaha

You know what, “I hate you”, “I hate you the most..”

Ditto... :*

I will never talk to you...

But I will <3

Aaish! I hate it.. I can’t even be mad at you.

Hahahahaha...

You really are a HITLER...

Thank you ;)

Okay, now go...

Yes, Mr Hitler.. I am going...

Ciaa.. take care ^_^ ”

(It was just like yesterday; we were fighting or were having fun..)

With a tear in my eye, I answered ”No, I don’t miss him.”

(Only my heart knew about my dreams and the reality..

The reality which ended a long but is alive in my dreams... )

I wish I could tell him for once that he is above the relation of friendship and love, for me.

“I don’t miss him, but yes! I miss MY HITLER <3”

#LoveandLost #Majormissing #dreams