I cant get over him,

His smile, his laugh, his everything

I would pay a large sum to be able to forget he existed

That way I wouldnt have to deal with what I felt

That way I wouldnt have to face the consequences of my yearning heart

I feel guilty for the feelings I hold

I dont want to share them with anyone

I dont want to let him know

But I have no choice

I will face this head on

I will not get over it

I will not get under it

I will go through it.

All I've ever wanted is to make you proud, my father

I know I'm not the son you expected, could never love somebodies daughter

I wear makeup,

I dress "wrong",

I sure as hell dont like sports,

Bet you didnt expect your son to wanna wear booty shorts,

but I hope I still make you proud, my father.

The minute you heard the news you ran out of breath

How did they expect you to react to your lovers death

Your whole body aches for a moment with them

A strike of fate that you strongly condemn

Now your lungs are all out of air

You have been thrown into a state of dispair

You feel yourself sinking

Mindlessly drinking

Searching for numbness

Trapped in this glumness

No sight of the surface

Too drunk to be nervous

You say your goodbyes

And close your eyes

Preparing to see them again

In a place the human mind cannot comprehend