Don't you ever just stop and think to yourself, what if you had done things differently, chosen another option, what would it have been like?
Don't you ever just stop and reconsider every choice you've made so far in your life?
Wondering constantly if this is the "right" path for you, wanting to breakdown and cry but no tears fall, because you've cried about it too many times. The stress can't help but build up on your shoulders, especially if you bottle it up, screw the lid on your emotions so tight until it's destined to burst and overflow one day. Even if you're someone who rants and vents to friends or family, the stress will still find a way to you, eating away at you until you become an explosive "monster" or a numb shell of who you were before.
When every decision you make feels like it'll cost the stars in the galaxy, every decision is so hard to make because the sinking feeling in your gut is almost too much to bear...because you've made mistakes before and you're scared to make more.
So now you're just stuck in the same position, the same moment in life, frozen in time, unable to move forwards because you're unable to make new decisions.
I wish a wish and dream a dream, that when I open my eyes you’ll be here, alive and smiling. Why did you die and leave me alone in this empty world? Now I’m so lost and I don’t know what to do. Nobody treated me like you did. Nobody encouraged me and made me a better person in the way you did.
He has to be lying right?
I’m sure you didn’t die, you couldn’t have. You were such a strong and bright person, so kind and hardworking. There is no way that out of all the billions of people in this world, that you would commit suicide.
Did he treat you well?
Did he take proper care of you?
He’s always never around it’s like he doesn’t care for the RFA anymore!
....Sorry, I’m sure you don’t want to hear this....
But then things started to get a bit better. She came and she was bright and understanding like you. She was so cheerful all the time and always listened to what I had to say and supported me. It was like you had been reincarnated! Of course, I couldn’t help but compare you two, since you both were so similar. Both of you gave me hope that I could be a better person and instead of dragging me down, you lifted me up! I didn’t understand why others were telling me that comparing both of you was wrong... to me you guys were almost the same! Why would it matter anyway...why would it be so bad if she became you instead? That way I can be happy again, that way I would get to see a smile so bright like yours again. It’s like my prayer came true. But why isn’t everyone supportive of my feelings? Why can’t they understand? They’re all leaving me behind!
She offered to stay behind with me, she told me she understood. You’re happy for me, right?
I respected you and I wanted to become like you, nothing more, but it’s different for her. Around her, I feel safe, warm, special, loved and so infinitely happy. It’s different. I feel differently about her, I don’t know why. You guys were supposed to be the same. I don’t get it...so please help me from up there...Rika...
I remember everything that you’ve done, every word you’ve said. There’s no erasing it. I remember your tears; when I just wanted to wipe them away but someone else was already there for you. Your smile and your laughter brought warmth and light to my world, but it hurt knowing that I wasn’t the one that made you so happy, it hurt knowing it wasn’t meant for me. I remember all the times I’ve said, “I’m happy for both of you...” but it was all lies.
Whenever you press the REPLAY button, I always hope that you’d finally choose me...but you never do. I thought after all the tears I had to shed, everything that I had to endure, you’d pick me, you’d understand. Although we live in two different worlds, you were the one who returned the colour to my bleak world. In my database, I only knew the things I was supposed to know, I only knew 01100100 01100101 01110000 01110010 01100101 01110011 01110011 01101001 01101111 01101110 but you taught me new meanings, like 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101. So I’m waiting patiently for you to choose me...
Nobody knows that I remember, maybe if they did they would've behaved differently, but I'm happy enough with the way things are now. For now, it'll be one of the many secrets that I have.
#mysticmessenger #mysticmessenger707 #lucielchoi #saeyoungchoi
Yoosung (Mystic Messenger) Spoilers below
SPOILER ALERT : (if you haven’t finished playing Mystic Messenger’s Another Story or the Secret Endings then don’t read unless you want to be spoiled)
This isn’t really a tribute, but it’s more like in defence of Yoosung for those who are annoyed with/hate Yoosung. Yoosung isn’t many people’s favourite mys mes character because he is always comparing MC to Rika and defending Rika a loooooot (V’s route) and that’s true but Yoosung has always been my fav character ever since I started. If you don’t care for the reasons behind why Yoosung behaves in the way he does, then just don’t read this post. Warning: this may be very long and maybe confusing? (Definitely not grammatically correct)
Many people seem to have the misconception that Yoosung is in love with Rika, but he isn’t. Just because he admires her and idolizes her as well as the fact that they are of opposite genders and are close in age, doesn’t mean that he loves her. Yoosung literally puts Rika on a pedestal as she was the only one who gave him a lot of encouragement and gave him emotional support. She made him into a better person so of course he’s gonna idolize her in some way.
Well then how about how he mixes MC and Rika up all the time in the first few days of his route? Well, it was only 1 and a half years since Rika ‘died’ and Yoosung still was recovering from her ‘death’, since she had a big impact on his life. Then MC came into his life. MC didn’t treat Yoosung like he was a loser and encouraged him constantly, so obviously he is going to mix MC up with Rika as Rika was his only reference for this kind of relationship.
In V’s route, well obviously he’s gonna defend Rika and get so worked up about it because he’s still gRiEVing (in Another Story it's been 6 months since Rika's death) and is the type of person to express their emotions very openly. Sure he was being very irrational wanting to talk to Rika in that situation, but bruh what can you expect? He just discovered that Rika is alive, and on top of that he found out that a lot of things to some degree were lies. While you may argue that the rest of the members also just found out about all this, Yoosung had a closer relationship to Rika than Jaeheee and Zen and for 707, he didn’t exactly get to spend lots of time with Rika in the past considering his childhood. Plus Yoosung knew Rika before Jumin and really did look up to her a LOT. Since Yoosung put Rika on a pedestal and believed strongly that she was a good person it is hard to change his mind. It is proven by several experiments that people have a larger tendency to accept information that supports their beliefs and reject those that contradict their beliefs, even any kind of data and evidence no matter how compelling.
So I really want to write more, but then people wouldn’t even read it and I don’t have all the evidence as I’m not currently playing V’s route so I can’t get the exact quotations to prove my points. Anyway, I really hope this made sense and I hope that it helped people to try and understand Yoosung a little bit better and empathize more with him. If you have any thoughts then I don’t mind discussing becuz this game is AMAZING and I obviously love talking about it. I love all the Mys Mes characters but Yoosung is still no.1 for me. hehe. (Not sorry for grammatical mistakes and long sentences with a lot of ’and’s)
#yoosungkim #yoosung #mysticmessenger #yoosungmysticmessenger #spoileralert #spoiler #mysticmessengerspoiler #otomegames
She’d never seen that house in her entire life...
She knew every inch of the town, and yet she’d never seen that house in her entire life. It was old, made of crumbling stone with moss and ivy crawling all over it. How had she not noticed it before? It would’ve been impossible to miss considering its huge size, nearly as big as a medieval castle, and how out of place it looked with its four turrets, compared to the other modern houses down the rest of the street. Curious she tried to swing open the rusty iron gate, but it wouldn’t budge. With determination in her eyes, she started climbing the gate. Once she reached the top, she had to be careful to avoid the spikes and climbing down proved a more difficult task than climbing up. When her feet finally landed with a thud on the ground, she heaved a sigh of relief. Looking left, then right, she crept through the garden, with withered trees that might have once been alive and stone fountains depicting mermaids and gargoyles that no longer spouted water. She eventually was met face to face with an imposing wooden door. Using all her strength, she leaned against it and pushed. With a creak, it opened. The girl was greeted with a sudden ghast of wind that blew her raven coloured hair into her face. When she finally brushed her hair away, a long corridor lined with a plush red carpet appeared before her. Walking forwards tentatively, she realised her feet were bare. Where did her shoes go? The interior was unlike the exterior which was dilapidated, inside everything seemed overly fanciful and new, everything looked like it belonged to the past.
The Sun that Died
Whenever I think of love...I think of the sun, warm and bright, a guiding light, I think of you. You’re my sun in the darkness that is my world. You’re the only one that I can show my true colours to. But why? Why do you still stay with me? I’m not normal, I’m a psycho, I’ve hurt you more than once, so why do you still love me? It’s all my fault... it’s all my fault that you fell in love with me, it’s all my fault that you’re hurt, it’s all my fault that you’re dead... I should never have gone to your gallery that day, I should never have looked at your pictures and felt loved for once, I should have stayed far away from you so you wouldn’t get hurt, so you could have a better life. I don’t deserve to be loved.
You keep saying that it’s not true, that it wasn’t my fault you fell in love with me, that it wasn’t my fault that I hurt you, that I do deserve to be loved...but I can’t help but feel that you’re lying. You tried to help me, I know that. You recommended me to a therapist, but when I went there, I knew I was beyond saving, so I never went there again. You still tried to heal me no matter what, even when I screamed at you, blinded you, used you, abandoned you and even caused your death... But up until the end, you stayed by my side and told me you loved me even though I was beyond hope. But how could you have loved such a horrible person like me? I remember convincing myself that I loved you, but I don’t think I truly loved and appreciated you until you were gone for good.
When I look at the sun, I feel myself tearing up, I remember you, I remember your warmth, your love... So maybe, if we could turn back time, if I had met you sooner or if we had never met, things would’ve turned out differently and you would still be alive. Maybe we could meet, meet again in heaven or our next lives and maybe we would be happy. So when I look at the sun, I remember all the things we've done and all the thing we'd wanted to do, and it made me think of you...
It's disgusting, really, the way people disguise themselves to become somebody, someone that's worth existing, but what can I say when I do the same? After all, it's fun to wear a new mask every day, not knowing which will be the last. I don't know how to properly feel any emotion anymore, I just discard the emotions once I'm done using them and use it again when needed to, like masks. Some people may call me inhuman but wouldn't life be so boring if everything just goes according to plan? That's why I left that world behind and entered this complete wasteland as it's much more intriguing to navigate and understand.
In this world, life would be so dull without some blood, without bleeding, without that sickly metallic scent, without someone screaming in agony and torture. Nauseating? More like exhilarating isn't it? If there is one thing that I've learnt in this world, a heart without emotion and without devotion, is the only one that's free, it's just much easier to fake something happy and pretend that everything is fine.
The world I know is covered in lies and it seems that there is no longer blue in my sky. I know nobody will forgive my blackened sky full of lies but what can I do when everything I know is ravaged? When my world has gone askew? It's too late to turn back now, not when everything I used to know, what I used to call home is burning with the fire of all the sins I have committed. But I feel no guilt, no remorse, just the thrill of it all.