A Letter To Self From Beyond
Dear Klaus
In this cold, unyielding realm beyond the veil, where time curls in on itself like a wounded animal, I find a strange clarity that eluded me in life. I see you now, struggling through the same absurd labyrinth that ensnared me, wrestling with the same existential demons and grappling for meaning in a world that often seems devoid of it.
Listen, because this is important: Life is a brutal joke played by a sadistic cosmos. The punchline is our own existence, filled with fleeting pleasures and persistent pain. You’ll find yourself often questioning the purpose, searching for answers in the bottom of a bottle, the hollow glow of a screen, or the transient warmth of another’s body. I did. I found no answers there, only more questions.
In this liminal space, I’ve come to understand something crucial—embrace the absurdity. Dance with it. Our lives are filled with shadows, Jung's archetypes lurking in every corner, our personal unconscious a reflection of the collective. The shadow, that dark part of you that you fear, is not your enemy but your teacher. Embrace it, understand it, and you’ll find strength you never knew existed.
Remember Dostoevsky’s words: "Man is a mystery. It needs to be unraveled, and if you spend your whole life unraveling it, don't say that you've wasted time. I am studying that mystery because I want to be a human being." You’re not alone in your struggle. Each moment of suffering, every pang of despair, is a step on the journey toward understanding.
And the satire, the humor—the fucking irony of it all—don’t lose that. It’s your weapon against the crushing weight of existence. Laugh at the absurdity, mock the societal constructs that try to confine you, and never let the bastards grind you down. Life is too short to take seriously, and too long to endure without a sense of humor.
From this side, I see the intertwining of light and shadow, the delicate balance that we must maintain. You’ll make mistakes—Christ, I made more than my share—but they are not the end. They’re the chisel that shapes you. Be kind to yourself, forgive your failures, and keep pushing forward.
In the end, we’re all just searching for connection, for love, for a moment of understanding in a world that often seems indifferent. Cherish those fleeting moments, hold them close, and let them be your guiding star.
I leave you now with one final thought: Life is a tapestry woven from both our triumphs and our failures, our joy and our suffering. Embrace it all, and you’ll find a kind of beauty in the madness.
From the other side, with a clearer vision and a heavy heart,
I Once Was You, Klaus
ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ
Peel Back Your Skin
Don’t cry for me
everybody dies
in their own time.
Impending death
does not scare me
going to a better place.
I live or die
by the choices I made.
Lethal injection
not an execution
but a murder!
I am not ending
but beginning.
I am afraid
to transition alone.
Will you be there
with me?
I am sorry
that I killed
your brother -
hope this brings closure.
I see sadness drip
from my family’s eyes but
I have peace in my heart
am ready for next journey.
I have new pants
with a zipper and buttons,
orange juice to drink.
Not a loss but a win!
We are not
that much different.
I am you
and you are me.
Peel back your skin
and you will see.
#WordsFromAMurderer #AwaitingExecution #WeAreTheSame #LethalInjection
Feel the difference
If you feel something is possible in present, then look for reason
Once the reason is cited, then rest everything becomes simple.
If you feel something is not possible in present, then make sure that cause must not become a concern
Feel the difference between what you have got with you in present and everything you want from future.
It's very necessary before taking the first step in right direction.
Tomorrow if something goes wrong
Even a back up plan backfires, then if there is something that holds the ground it's the purpose with which I took the first step in this direction.
Most probably direction may be right, but need of the hour is to put in more efforts.
Feel the difference
A difference between expertise and experience
Both cannot be right
Both cannot be wrong
Both cannot be used in the same situation at the same time.
Anybody but yourself
Does a day come when I awaken undefeated
Rested, eager, prepared
To push on
How can I be sure it will get better
Not now, but maybe
Someday
Does a day come when I look in the mirror
Unabashed by my own image
And smile
Why does it feel like
No one can hear me
Am I not vocal
Or does no one listen
It's only me
To counter myself
Who else could know
How much hate I have
For myself
And whose fault is that?
How do you heal a wound you can't see
And no one knows exists
But you
Because only you can feel the pain everyday when you wake up
And everytime you look at yourself
And every evening you spend alone
Wondering what you should be
Or could be
If you were anybody but yourself
The hardest part about crying yourself to sleep sometimes is to just let go of the tears and give in to the sleep.
It means, for a moment, you can forget whatever belabors your mind and just exist