Dear Me, Did you know that you are a beautiful soul that deserves love from another beautiful soul. Did you know that you are smart..regardless of who says different..Did you know that your mom and Dad did love you despite of your rebellious nature .. Did you know you should have taken advantage of your youth..Did you know that you would realize after it was too late.

Trying to sleep before the alarm rings at 4:30. MY mind fills. What will the next day bring. Am I going to get to work on time.? Do I have enough gas.? How are my babies that are growing up to fast and often beyond my grasp? Did I need to stop at the store? Meaningless thoughts fill my mind in the dark. Then the alarm rings. Did I sleep. I think so. Then daylight and a rerun..

I used to be greedy with my physical books. love everything from the smell , to the physical shape that holds the memory of where it came from to the colorful bookmarks I would hand pick.But Alas those days are over for me.. The large font wins. I can read and after all that is what is most important.

I could have been dead 50 or a 150 times in my life.. The day I hit the Brand new Cadillac with my little wood paneled Toyota station wagon. The day someone shot a bullet through the living room window as I happened to be sitting on the couch. I remember feeling the rush of air going past my ear. Or it could be the raising of 2 children by myself and attending college. Or the times my car broke down on the freeway after dark while I was rushing home from work to be with my kids. I could name so much more but I will not bore you. What is most important is that I have lived for many years now and I am Strong..Happy.. And very grateful that We all survived.

Babies are born pure.. Mental illness is real.. Is Just real as cancer..My mother loved me but it was hard since her and my dad did not want a baby so soon after marriage..My kids and grandkids love me..Hate is a strong word..I am not a good picker of life partners..I love my friends..I love my family..I want to fight Isis but I don't know how..I have seen miracles with my own eyes and in my own life..My daughter is the strongest person I know..My work is so important .. I need to retire..I want my grandkids to grow up in a peaceful world..I want my family members to succeed .. They try so hard.. I want the American Dream to be real..I want my son to find happiness ..I want to build a home for the homeless.. I know that sometimes it is the cards they were dealt..