Deep pain
Grasping my throat
Slowing my breath
Yet teases at the possibility
Maybe I deserve this
All this hurt
All this loneliness deep inside me
Tears me apart
Puts me together
Shards glued by string
Ready to be torn
I’m holding it together
Just barely surviving
Not living
Just surviving
Pain runs down my body
The ache grows deeper
The hold grows tighter
I can’t breathe
The three words I’ve been contemplating
Since I laid eyes on you.
Your gentlemanliness
Your loyalty to your loved ones
I can’t fantom how rare it is for you to be true
You’re the dream of every hopeless romantic
Even though you may not see it so
Your friends doubt your abilities
But in my eyes they’re blind to the real you
You make me laugh and you don’t even try
Your insecurities make me wonder if I’m blind
Just thinking of you warms my heart and sends tingles down my spine
But I guess your flirting was just you being nice.
I was only imagining your blush.
Your lip bites were probably for another girl
Because let’s face it, who would ever put me first?
Our stolen glances were completely coincidental
Being chivalrous was being polite
I was overthinking and being analytical
Trying to read between the lines.
You’ve put this barrier between us
Unintentionally not letting me through
I want to be there when others are not
Who you are to me
I want to be the same for you
I’ve thought about this moment over the course of these past months
And every single time, your answer was the same:
“I don’t want us to have an end.
Just allow this friendship to remain.”
I’ve come to terms with this for a while
Being your friend is all I can be
But even then, I still get jealous
Of a possibility that could never be for me.