They say I’m obsessed

With you.

But, of course

I’m not.

I can let you go, anytime

Just walk away

And wave goodbye if you want to.

And all the pictures on my wall

Would soon be gone

If you left, too,

Replaced by those of someone new.

I like you, sure

And think about

You every single day

I love to watch you

Eat and sleep

That’s just my loving way

Of course I’m not obsessed with you

Feel free to walk away

If you can break the chains and lock

Then you don’t have to stay

If you can crack the cellar maze

Then just be on your way.

Of course

I can always find you

As I chipped you when I drugged you.

Dear Me,

I am sorry for . . .

1. Calling you unworthy.

2. Telling you that you couldn't possibly be liked or loved as "just yourself."

3. Trying my hardest to convince you that you couldn't succeed, couldn't do what makes you happy.

4. Badmouthing you to others and then telling you it was for your own protection, that you would only disappoint them if I acted as though I believed in you.

5. Telling you it wasn't worth it to try, because you'd never be good enough.

6. Laughing at you when you would get your hopes up, when you would think, "Hey, maybe I can do this!"

7. Determining your worth based on how I thought others perceived you.

8. Not listening to or supporting you.

9. Calling you pathetic and unwanted.

I do love you, and I believe in you, and sometimes I still find you pathetic, and I don't quite know why, and I don't know why I perceive your accomplishments as not accomplishments when they really are, and I don't know why I still look at you sometimes and think, "You're so unloveable." I don't know why I go down that negativity spiral, but I am sorry for dragging you - someone who I love and am proud of and hopeful for - down the vortex with me.

Sincerely,

Me

I’ve ran out of ways to describe how you make me feel. And yet,

I haven’t even begun to graze the surface

I feel you in the wind and I feel you in the chilly afternoon air

I hear you in Netflix series and in The Beatles songs

I think about you every day, in the morning and the night

The second I wake up to the second I’ve fallen asleep

Even sometimes, my dreams.

You’re nothing tangible anymore.

Nothing more than a whispy lavender nostalgia.

And yet,

You’re still

My everything

At last

Now I'm back.

Hoping that you ache at the thought of me,

Seeping and damp at the thought of me.

I hope that you admit you missed me.

You don't want to

Admit you missed me.

I start to rise

At the thought of you.

Inside you deny

But I hope you will

Admit you missed me.

I smell your gratitude as I touch your neck with my lips.

Your gentle moan as your body reacts and begins to

Admit.

You missed me.

We kiss.