I'm walking like a souless ghost.

Down

Down

Down

Through the hall of haunted shadows.

Whispering my pain

To everyone in vain

Crying out for you

In silent relfection

Missing what I had

When you were mine

Hoping against hope

That I'll find you again

Years from now

And maybe this pain will end

I

cannot

help

but

try.

I see couples drifting by

In the misty, treacherous river of love

I can't say I don't envy them

I feel the jealousy burn inside

I see young couples

Swirling in the pink mist

of new love

And I think

You fools

Do you even know what it feels like

To go to hell and back together

And come out all the stronger?

I see married couples

With their growing families

And I think

How I wish I had

The life you're so comfortable in

I see old couples

And I think

Why are you so bitter

towards each other?

What I'd give to have

someone to call my own

And then I think about the love I had

And the person I would call my own

It's hard to see others

With what I know could have been mine

It stings

All the time

What would they think of me

If I told them I still loved you.

You were the scum of the earth

Hopeless, dangerous, worthless.

They would recoil.

I know...I've seen it.

And how it hurts me so.

Like a child, trying to move on

Past a childhood toy

I cling to you.

To the memory of you.

How many times

Have I tried to let go

Just to return

In mind...

In heart...

In spirit...

So many times.

Oh, how I wish what they thought

Didn't hurt me so.

People ask what scares me.

But how can I explain

When what I fear is quite

A non-sympathetic case.

Everyone knows I chose right

When I let you go.

So how can they understand

It's that which I fear so.

I worry...

All the time...

That leaving you

Was the beginning of the end.

I worry...

That I can't...

Just can't.

Just can't do it anymore.

What I worry most

Is that life passes me by

Because I cannot let you go

What will I lose

When I miss my life

Because I mourn for a life

Never to be?

Because no matter how hard I try,

I cannot let you go.

Happiness is the kisses we share at night.

The way we wake each other up and put each other to bed.

Happiness is every time I say "I love you."

How we say it even though we already know.

Happiness is when we live together, dream together.

When we talk late at night instead of sleep.

Happiness is the way we hold each other.

What we feel when we see each other after work.

Happiness is what I feel sometimes when I remember you.

Remembering what we almost had.

And sadness, crippling sadness, is what I feel

When I remember you're not there.

There's something sort of sad about life. Everyone's life. How it rises and falls, begins and ends. It's the sort of sadness that doesn't truly fade away. The sort of sadness that, when mixed with happiness, becomes a tearful bittersweet.

I used to think love could conquer the sadness, and maybe it can for some. But now I realize there are limitations...restrictions...

And that love does not apply to me.

Why so serious? you ask.

Well, I can't say I haven't been asked the same many, many times. But I'll humor you -- I'll answer again.

Why don't you smile? Because I'm sad, that's why.

Why are you sad? Because I lost a lover, that's why.

Well, how did you lose him? I had to let him go even as I loved him, that's why.

Why did you do that? Why did you let something get in the way of love? Because I know something you don't, that's why.

Pain, not love, is what makes the world go 'round.

You shouldn't expect me to be happy. Not anymore.

Sometimes...

I wear the ring that you almost gave me.

That you would have given me.

And sometimes...

It hurts too much to think about you

How I lost you

So sometimes...

I slip the ring on my finger

And pretend I’m going home to you

Sometimes...

In those moments

The pain is lessened.

But other times...

I don’t think

I can take it anymore.

Take me back to the shadows where I found you

Where the echoes of our love still linger in the silence

The place from whence you’ve slipped away

Far into the darkness, where I left you in your pain

Turn off the lights and plunge me into the dark

And as I stumble, groping through the void

Perhaps I’ll find you there, waiting

For some light within the shadows

Or waiting

For the end

But you’ll be mine, then

We can fill the aching hollows of our souls

And while we may be lost in darkness ever after

No one can make me let you go