I'm running... i'm running but i don't know why. I know i'll have to face it sooner than later. After all i cant run forever can i? It's pitch black all around me. Not even the moon shines over my pathetic existance. It feels like it's been forever, but i know i can't stop. If i do i will surley parish. He'd kill me. All i do is keep running.

I'm running...

I'm running...

Then...everything stops. The world freezes. Time stops ticking. I find my self in a room with a single dangling light. There are three doors...one old and looking as if it would break at any given moment. The middle one seems to be in normal shape, a few scrapes here and there. And the last door....completely white...no scratches...no smudges....just pure....white. I move to the first one, gently opening it, only to see him...but hes small...younger...playing with toy trucks and reading childrens books.

I close the door, careful not to slam it.

I move to the second door, preparing myself for what i am to see. I open the door, to see him in his teen years...the sadness....the loss...the pain... I slam the door, tears building up in my eyes as i stifle a cry.

I move to the last one...

What i see horrifies me. It is him...laying in a casket...surrounded by people who claim to love him. Tears fall down my face as i take in this image. It was suicide. No doubt about it. I close the door just before i fall to my knees and bury my face in my hands. Why? Why him?

Why?

Why me?

Male- Nicknames

Arlo

Caleb

Charlie

Jacob Jake

Jasper

Mason

Max

Milo

Ronin

Ryder

Shane

Titan

Toby

Wyatt

Xander

Female-

Ava

Amy

Aurora Rory

Aza

Bree

Chloe

Cora

Dakota Kota

Dale

Ellie

Emma

Fleur

Gabby

Harper

Hope

Bella

Mila

Olivia Livi

Penny

Piper Pipes

Rowan

Scarlette

Stella

Taylor

Willow

Zoe

Gender Neutral-

Alex

Ali

Ari

Delta

Elliot

Frankie

Gale

Jamie

Nico

Paris

Pat

Reese

Rory

Sam

Sunny

Uri

Vesper

Winter

Still down for more names.

Why do i feel pain when i'm the one who said it? Why have i cried when i'm the one who hurt her? Why? I wish i can turn it all off. Like a switch....just turn it all off. But i can't, can i? Because your memory will always haunt me. The way you kissed me. The way you fit in my arms. I can't handle this pain anymore. I can't.

i mess everything up. i let my emotions take control and i lose the person i valued the most. if i would've just stayed quiet none of this wouldve happened. why do i have to do this every time? why do i have to drag everyone down? I need to just end it all so nobody has to deal with it anymore.