I’m the one who had control.

I pressed the buttons.

I had first say.

I made everything come into play,

It was always my way.

But now it’s all changed

And I’m following rules.

But nothing is getting done

Because I’m dealing with fools.

My days are filled with chaos and strife

I feel like I’ve lost control of my life.

The stress is taking it’s toll

Since I seem to have lost control.

I'm standing on the patio in the December cold watching the sky. He should be coming. It's going to be light soon. Wait. I think hear something now but I'm not sure. But I listen intently and soon, I'm able to make it out. The sound seems to be coming from the north. The sound of hooves beating against the thickness of the cold night air. I look up and catch but only a glimpse, as streak over my head and go a little way before slowing down and circling around to where I can barely make them out. It's true. They are that tiny. Eight of them were in line. The sleigh is not much bigger than one of those old red flyer wagons. How can he possibly fit all the toys and gifts into that little thing?

He's landing on the roof now. To see him, he's only about as tall as a Ken doll or a GI Joe doll. But to listen to that up on the roof. you'd think you've got a giant walking around on your roof. And those reindeer? They're pretty noisy for tiny little things. Listen to how loud they grunt. Oh sheesh, I bet if I look up there in the morning, I'll see reindeer poop all over the place. I'd better get in there before he comes down the chimney. I'm inside now, closing the door behind me when a blast of air swishes down through the fireplace chimney, blowing out the fire. Quickly, I duck behind the sofa just before he comes down. He steps out of the fireplace and stands still for a moment as he turns his eyes about slowly surveying the room. Did he detect me? He shrugs his shoulders and I'm relieved. I thought for sure I was a sitting duck. I watch him sitting the sack down by the Christmas tree. With a wave of his hands, the lights on the tree lights flicker and the sack magically opens with all the gifts and toys march out of the bag in a single file. Each item finds its place and settles under the tree.

The tiny bearded man in red walks over to the sofa. Uh oh. I'm sure he knows I'm back here. Then again, maybe not. I watch him leap from the floor to the sofa, then onto the coffee table. I almost laugh but I try my best to stifle it as I'm watching him pick up a chocolate chip cookie that's about as big as he is. Sitting down with his legs dangling over the side, chomping down his cookie. When he's done eating, I see him taking his smartphone out of his pocket, hitting the speed dial.

"Hey, Rudy. Tell the guys he didn't leave any carrots for you. Oh, and send down a lump of coal for his stocking."

Then a little quieter he says to Rudolph, "He doesn't think I know but he's hiding behind the sofa."

My eyes bug out and my jaw drops.

BUSTED

It’s the price I’ve paid,

To become a prisoner of

The choices I’ve made.

I don’t have the power

To change what I’ve set.

So I spend my days

Sitting in regret of

The choices I’ve made.

She told me to go and I’m gone

Now she is alone in her own regret

For She cannot change what is already set.

She sits alone crying

Inside her soul is dying

Because she told me to go and I’m gone

And now she is forever alone.

In my anxieties, I was ready to see myself as a failure. Over the past 2 days, every way I've tried would not, did not give me the results I'd expected. It's Tuesday. The project was due on Wednesday. The science fair is Friday. And I have nothing to show for it. I could just as easily have done a baking soda volcano. But I'm pretty positive that at least a third of the school would be doing one of those. Boring! I could make a potato battery light up a light bulb. No, come on, really. The ones not making volcanoes will be making those. I had something that if would put me over the top. I worked on it practically the whole late afternoon and rewrote a third of its program. [199>{hello/master<>{sp/r0010/]. To write out the whole program took about an hour and a half.

It was time to test it once again. It's already 10pm. I decided it would be the final test. If it doesn’t work this time, Then, I don’t know. I was tired and frustrated. I build the device determined that I would not to be held back again this year. That I would graduate with my class. That is if I could get the damn thing to work!

My finger dropped down on the enter. For an entire moment, nothing. But then. Quickly, my eyes darted from the screen to the device. As crisp and clear as a real human’s voice, I heard it.

"Hello Master"

It's Friday morning. The school gymnasium is crowded. Students and Teachers and Parents. Everyone with there potato batteries and baking soda volcanoes and, eh, that, um. That sad looking thing.

"What is that thing?" I asked, pointing to the contraption.

"It's a toilet paper roll pistol, if you please"

"Eh, nice," I remarked, returning my attention to my own project.

The judges have approached me, curiously eyeing my project. The older one looked to me, then to his partner with a curious questioning look.

"Young man," the men asked, "Where is your project?"

I said nothing but smiled and waved my hand before what appeared to them as a mini notebook with a bluetooth speaker. The gentlemen looked at one another with questioning expressions. The younger gentleman opened his mouth to speak but stopped as I raised a hand.

"Gentlemen, If you will, please," I said, reaching to wake up the device,

"This is not merely a notebook as you obviously supposed," I remarked.

L.I.A's screen lit up. A notification appeared, 'please enter start up sequence code alpha.'.

"Please, if you will, Sir," I said to the older man, gesturing to the keypad, "091 alpha 01. Then tap the red key"

Reluctantly, the man entered the code.

A short beep sounded on the speaker before a notification flashed onto the screen, "Please enter sequence code beta."

I gestured once again to the keypad, "091-b beta 02", which the man had enter onto the keypad.

Another short beep, then a deep human sounding male voice, "Hello Master. How may I be of service to you today?"

"Mmm, nice." said the younger gentleman with a note of skepticism in his voice, "Another Siri, or Alexa."

He started to write on his clipboard but was startled as L.A.I spoke, "I beg your pardon, sir! Siri? Alexa! Surely, sir, I am much more advanced!” The voice spoke, sounding angry. I couldn't help but laugh under my breath at the judges expressions. I stood there, my arms folded my arms, trying not to smirk.

"Okay, L.A.I, Calm down," I admonished, letting out a stifled giggle, "Let's introduce you to the gentlemen."

"Very well, Master. Good afternoon, Gentlemen. Allow me to introduce myself. I am L.A.I. I am a Living Artificial Intelligence. And may I emphasize the word, 'Living'."

"Living, indeed," spoke the older gentleman, eyeing me with more skepticism.

"Living indeed," L.A.I spoke in it's own defense, "As surely as you are standing there. "I run on a very complex algorithm, operating a highly advanced positronic matrix which generates a power that is just 4% away from being an actual human brain wave."

The man is stunned. The expression on his face is that of surprise and shock.

"How? Even the most notable scientists and computer experts have only speculated such an achievement!"

So has passed the science fair and weekend which flew by quickly. Its Monday in science class. The science teacher, Mr. Neville approaches me and introduces 3 gentlemen as being from NASA.

"We'd like to talk to you about L.A.I"

A simple school boy science project would later become something much more advanced in the history of computerized intellect. That of course, is another story for another time.

Trying to keep my head up

But I can feel the weight

It's trying to pull me in.

Down and under, body tense

As I fight against the weight

Of the circumstances

Trying to pull me down

And drown me.

Write what you know.

Know what you write.

Write what you love.

Love what you write.

Either way, Just write.

The sky lights up

Hear the rumbling roll

Of the thunder

As the hard rain beats down

Outside my window

Lightning flash

Thunder crack

Pitter patter rain splatter

Against the glass

Outside my window

Life is so much simpler when there is no drama. But it’s inevitable that there will always be drama. That’s why it is sometimes it's better to just go off by yourself, if even for a little while. Alone time is the healthiest thing you can do for yourself. Take a walk, take a long bath, or even just lay on your bed and meditate. You can do anything. Just remember, sometime in your busy day to TAKE TIME TO YOURSELF.