Ants only live

for 90 days.

Three Months.

I fell in love

over a tiny lifetime.

Built a sand castle

knowing it would

only dissolve

into a slurry

with the tide.

I am ready for

something

more resilient.

A shelter built

of my bones.

Ants never sleep,

but I’m tired.

the first time you kissed me

I mean really kissed me

I cried

it was unexpected

uncontrollable

instant

I wasn't ready to let you see

my broken bits

as they stung my eyes

so I let them stain your shirt

unquestioning you held me

though later you admitted

your confusion and concern

convinced it was your fault

even though it was anything but

my sadness was a sunflower seed

planted in my lips by his

bursting forth with the wet of yours

you broke the heart I had

tirelessly taped back together

accidentally reopening

a thousand infected wounds

breaking though thorns

in search of greenery

and I think this

was the moment

that people speak of

when I let you love me

(it wasn't til two months later

I let myself fall for you)

I am carelessly gentle

spending every saving

on gossamer and wool

I felt naked

unearthed

a bulb unblooming

plucked from the bosom of my bed

made to spread

unformed petals

in hope of strengthening

the shine of my eyes

I do not think you were sent here

to save me I think

you did that

accidentally

I was a fucking MASTERPIECE

and you

s

n

a

p

p

e

d

the paintbrush

in

ha lf

and t

o

r

e

my canvas

a p a r t

You guys here on Prose.

Unspecific encourages me to write beautiful pieces close to the heart.

Intimacycolours opens my mind to an incredible new world of writing I hadn't known existed.

Bulletradio helps me to remember to write for me and to be free with that.

Jeffstewart taught me that it's ok to write about the rawness of this world and to make it inspirational.

killjoy reminds me that this world is cruel but we can stand strong against that, that we can voice our opinions and be confident in that.

JW1GGYTHELOON is an inspiration in himself and I've learned so much from his writing and his story.

paintingskies teaches me that amazingly beautiful, original works of art are possible.

InvisibleInk allows me to feel free in who I am and she let's me know that I am a writer and I can achieve that.

Valerie is, I think, one of my best critics on here and I thank her so much for that. She let's me know that if I work hard enough I can write deep, dynamic, well-rounded and well written stories.

LeftyGuitarist gives me new opinions to look at and encourages me to be open about mine.

ggravendust helps me to feel good about who I am while allowing me to live in whimsical worlds through her writings.

Lsu11 has been with me from the start and keeps me going, even when I feel I'm not good enough to.

artemis is so creative and original. She helps me strive to create my own stories judged only by me.

k_wisdom launches me threw tragically beautiful and inspirational works of art that inspire me to openly write and to let the words flow from my fingertips.

Yowwa blesses me with compliments I do not deserve and helps me to keep going and stay true to myself.

Lukello has such a inspiring quality and makes me feel that I am not alone.

A teaches me that logic can be beautiful and to use what wouldn't necessarily be considered art and turn it into something amazing.

chelseaschott gives me the feeling of freedom to write what I've been through and make it an inspiration to others.

WillTheNow has such a grand look on things and that just amazes me. His outlook on things and the sarcastic/inspiring stories he can spin are incredible.

shapelessevan is witty and poetic and ties in so many different aspects that makes his writing rememberable and fun.

Terra is someone I can connect with through writing and through everyday life. She helps me write for me and let's me feel like I can be myself.

Writistic let's me know that things can get beyond hard but I can overcome them and work hard to do what I love.

I want you all the know that you have all inspired me tremendously and I can't even begin to thank all of you. I apologize for those I didn't write down but I mean with all my heart that every single one of you have helped me become who I am right now and I will only grow from here and for that I am more grateful than words can express.

Every word that I wrote here today is 100% true. No exaggerations.

I mean it from the bottom of my heart when I say I love you guys.

You guys are not only my writing inspiration but my personal self inspiration as well.

You are all my inspiration.

You are all inspirational.

Never forget that.

I may

circle back

months from

now

If I do

it will be

balanced

bending

not

untold

messes of me.