The Girl From The Long White Cloud
I want to worship your body.
Pray on my knees, for you are my church.
For me, I wish to lay my head in your lap and melt away.
I want to trace the lines of your tattoos.
Kiss the poetry they write my lips.
I want to lose myself in the curve of you neck,
Inhale your scent and breathe in your soul.
On the valleys of your back and legs,
I would run my tongue and kiss my way.
And your sweet lips and wild hair feel like the home I crave so much.
I lose myself in the colors of your eyes,
An explosion of browns, ambers, and greens.
I see a universe of colors and possibilities in your irises.
I want to stargaze upon the freckles on your face,
Trace my fingers along the stunning new constellations.
I crave your voice to say my name,
For nothing can be lost in that translation.
More than anything I want you to love me,
And cross this ocean that keeps us apart.
I loved you without knowing you.
I loved you without knowing your nature.
My blood burns with your venom.
All my joy has turned to pain.
I craved you without understanding you,
What you are, what you would do.
Where you stung me still festers.
I fever with my feelings for you.
I worshiped your broken lines.
I prayed for your poisoned soul.
We choose in this life what we do,
You chose to pretend and then strike me so.
What once was sweet as wine,
It has turned to the taste of sour grapes.
My trust is shattered by you.
Your betrayal stabs at my unarmored soul.
In time I hope I will forget your face,
But I will bare the scar of you all my life.
I have pulled your stinger lodged from in my heart.
I doubt it will ever crave another.
You are a Scorpion with no heart to tame,
With no conscious only its instinct.
I planned to sacrifice everything to carry you through a life together.
But you forgot me as soon as I was out of sight.
You are a deceiver wrapped in a beautiful face,
You act so carelessly with other’s hearts.
Your selfish nature drags me down.
I pay the price for our crossed paths.
I feel the water rushing up.
Under murky depths I sink into its grip.
I sacrificed without knowing what you are.
Your lips were sweet yet whispered lies.
On you moved onto the next one.
I am discarded and forgotten by you.
You have damned me to this fate.
But, you cannot see you have damned us both.
I was only trying to love and save you.
You did not deserve my kindness, nor my trust.
But, I pity you more than hate you.
You are a creature ruled by its instinct.
My love would have ferried you across this river.
But you were true to your nature.
My broken heart weighs me to the bottom.
And now I slip beneath the waves.
I am another piece of discarded wreckage in your wake.
And you are another lost wish I never should have made.
I want to come home.
I want to come home to you.
I want to rediscover you.
Explore you like uncharted territory.
Like waters I have never sailed before.
Leave behind this fight and deprivations.
I would wander through your secrets.
Walk my fingers across your savanna.
Breathe you in like the spices in the old spice markets.
Trek your streets and let you all in.
Search for treasure in your smile and glance.
I want you to look at me.
The way you did so long ago, before all this.
Like I had meaning and worth.
I want to fall in love with you again.
Like seeing the sunrise from the highest peak.
But now, like for the first time with new eyes, but the same heart.
I want to stand in awe of you.
Meander through the river of our lives with you.
I want to hear your voice like the rain falling on the desert.
I crave it more than the sands crave the lost ancient oceans.
I want to find a new path to your heart.
The old one I took as a callow youth.
I want to love you now as a learned man.
With a drop of maturity and some wear.
And from out this jungle I would reclaim your heart.
And there I will find you, yet untamed.
Am I right?
Everyone else tells me that I am wrong.
I'm told to toe the line, don't stick out, be like everyone else.
Let things go and do just enough to get by.
Stick up for what you believe or love and everyone will come for you.
People love to hit the nail that sticks out.
The crowds love to watch heroes fall.
I try and do what my conscious demands.
Sometimes I wish I weren't different.
Sometimes I wish I was like everyone else.
I could be happy to live in blissful ignorance.
Someone might love and want me if I just gave in.
But I don't think like everyone.
Maybe I am the black sheep, a maverick who cannot bend.
I cannot do ordinary.
Caged in conformity with no free will.
I'd rather be true to me.
Or else who would I be?
You are the Heavens, and I am the Earth
You are the Heavens, and I am the Earth.
My fingers are the mountains reaching towards your whisping clouds.
They strain skywards to touch your formless curves.
I am hardened and weathered but you are soft swirling silk and smoke.
I give to you my strength and you share with me your grace.
The shelter of my arms hold the downpour of your loving tears.
You are the cool breeze that runs down the canyons of my face
The winds and rain are your hands caressing my rugged peaks.
The mountain storms are we two locked in passion's grip.
I lose myself in the fog capped blanket of your embrace.
And there we blend mixing and churning into one.
Often we two are separated by empty crystal blue air.
Yet somehow we meet in between our two different planes.
And when we touch, life is made anew.
Not everything that is broken can be fixed.
There isn’t enough glue or time to piece it all together.
Not all wounds heal with the passing of time.
Some will scar, some will fester, some will kill slowly.
There is no perfect life, no matter what we see in fiction.
Moments of both good and bad are all it really is.
But it doesn’t always have to work out, end happily, have a deeper meaning.
Sometimes it just is.
Life is nature. And nature doesn’t take sides, it just is.
Sunny days and deadly storms, the same face with different moods.
It really is indifference that I face. Something real I cannot see.
The Shower Tree
I sit underneath the shower tree,
This time of year they are in full bloom.
The flowers explode like fireworks in the night sky,
Formed from the once barren branch.
We would both sit under this tree together,
The wind would blow the falling blossoms.
They scattered around us bellowing on the Summer breeze.
The floral confetti strewn about our private world.
I can still feel the hopes and dreams we shared.
I still feel your hand squeezing mine.
I miss the Summers with your head and body pressed against me.
When you would melt into my cradling arms.
The shower trees eventually shed all their flowers,
And all their beauty fades.
So too did we and our love,
Lost against the changing seasons.
Every year when they bloom again,
I think of loving you beneath the shower trees.
The Sky is on Fire Tonight
The Sky is on fire tonight.
The black void is pireced with flame.
She has come claim what is her’s.
All in her path she burns and consumes.
Like a plague from ancient times.
The crimson pillar streaks towards Heaven.
The stars and moon have lost its luster.
In her fiery temperamental glory I lose sight of all in the darkened backdrop,
I see only her as she draws me to her.
She destroys in the most beautiful way.
I do not know if it is her wrath or just her nature.
But in the fury of her footsteps she creates a new world.
She takes and gives alike.
Her heated anger is tempered by her giving.
And when her anger subsides, life will return and she and our world are at peace again.
Poetry should sometimes be simple.
The least words to paint with.
Simple and direct as can be.
To say that I loved you immensely.
That I am hollow with you gone.
I pray at night for you to love me again.
I cannot be with another because I think of you.
Your picture and gifts are never far from me.
I dwell on every moment we had.
I read again all your notes and messages.
I drown in what ifs and maybes.
That I no longer have self worth not knowing if you ever loved me.
To know that you have chosen others over me over the years kills my soul.
Maybe I should’ve been more direct with you.
Perhaps I’m just trying to convince myself.
This is the simplest way for me to say I still love you after all these years apart.
What do you think about when you’re in free fall?
When you have no chute and down is the only place you’re going.
Surrounded by endless blue, above and below you.
What is sea and what is sky, in my panic I think I would only see one.
The wind rushing past you or you past it is deafening I would imagine.
Would I scream the whole way? Or would I blissfully accept it?
Would I remember only good parts of my life?
Would I drown in bad ones and what ifs?
I crash towards the surface like a falling star.
I do not know what I would do, there’s no escaping the impending end.
And would I be brave enough to watch my descent to the ocean?
Or would I look skyward? Trying in vain to forget my fate.
I don’t know if I’d close my eyes as the surface quickly approaches.
These few minutes would last an eternity.
All I know is that I could just let go, surrender to the azure drop.
I would really have nothing else.