Harry Situation Reviews: Five Nights at Freddy’s (The Movie)
Happy Halloween, everyone!
Halloween is without a doubt my favorite holiday next to Christmas. And what better way to celebrate such a spooky holiday than to review a spooky movie. The long-awaited Five Nights at Freddy's.
Five Nights at Freddy's is a horror film based on the popular video game franchise of the same name. The film stars Josh Hutchinson, Elizabeth Lail, Piper Rubio, Mary Stuart Masterton, and Matthew Lillard. The film centers around a troubled security guard named Mike (played by Josh Hutchinson), who takes a night-time job at Freddy's Fazbear's Pizza, a family entertainment center that has been abandoned since the 1980s. Upon taking the job, he quickly learns that the four main animatronic mascots — Bonnie, Chica, Foxy, and Freddy Fazbear — come to life on their own, and have a thirst for murder. I mean, what would you expect from animatronics that are possessed by the souls of murdered children, am I right?
I'll first start off by stating that I am not a fan of the Five Nights at Freddy's video games. I've only ever played the first one and even then, I never understood why people were so into it, and still are to this day. Maybe it's the fact that so many Youtube gamers showed off different videos of themselves playing these games and seeing their reactions is what draws people to these games.
A film adaptation was announced almost a decade ago, but has been in development hell for a while, until now. Now that the Five Nights movie has been released I can say that this movie was terrible, but goddamn did I have some fun watching it.
There really aren't too many positives for this movie. I'll give it this, the movie was funny. Goddamn, I laughed so hard at this movie. But that is also serves as the biggest problem. While it's meant to be a horror movie, there were too many moments that had me laughing at the movie, not with it.
Which leads me to the real issue with this movie: it's not scary. You would think that a game mainly famous for its jumpscares would help motive the writers to try to come up with a few of their own. But no, the "scares" are so few and far between and they barely get a reaction out of me.
The story is very predictable too. Any sort of "twists" or "revelations" that this movie had in store for its audience I saw them all coming. Could the story be any more linear? Hell, if you've casted Matthew Lillard in your movie, you already know he's going to be secretly a killer. We've all seen Scream before. It's nothing new.
The characters are also bland as hell. We spend so much focus on Josh Hutchinson's character without any real reason to care for him. They tacked on the idea that he's looking out for his kid sister (played by Piper Rubio), and the fact he's desperately searching for information to what may have happened to his lost little brother. But in the end, I just don't care. He's not very interesting, and he barely expresses himself aside from maybe two different emotions. There is also a police officer (played by Elizabeth Lail) who is supposed to have a connection with Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, but her main purpose throughout the movie is to dump dialogue to the audience.
But despite this movie being terrible, I did have a good laugh about it. Honestly, this movie is on par with say Manos, the Hands of Fate or Samurai Cop. A movie so bad that it's entertaining. Besides, I get the feeling that this movie made to cater towards fans of the franchise, which mainly consists of kids, teens, and Youtube gamers. This movie was for them, not for me, despite trying so hard to appeal to newcomers of the franchise. So if you're a fan of these games, this one's for you. If you're looking for something stupid and fun, then enjoy your stay at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza.
-I laughed so hard at this movie
-No real scares
Final Grade: F
So those are my thoughts on Five Nights at Freddy's. Have you seen it? What were your thoughts on it? Have you played any of the games? What are your thoughts on those? Please be kind, leave a like and comment, and check out more reviews here on Prose!
Mike Schmidt: "What's the pay?"
Steve Raglan: "Not great."
#harrysituationreviews #film #opinion #horror #videogame #ThisMovieSucks
It’s Been a While, Hasn’t It?
I know it's been some time since I posted anything on this site. My last post was back in June, and there's been a good reason for it.
For starters, I've been searching for a new home and have put all my efforts into doing that instead of writing. As of right now I can say that I have indeed found and purchased a home for myself, and I will be moving very soon. Honestly, I've feeling a mixture of emotions from this turn of events. Excitement, anxiety, sadness, the works. I'm sure many of you can relate. But yeah, that's one of the biggest reasons I haven't been on this site and why you haven't heard from me lately. I have a home now and I'm moving. It's a great place. Great neighborhood. Not too far from my work office and friends. It's perfect. So, I think I'm going to spend some more time focusing on that, getting things packed away, and then finally move in, starting the next chapter in my life.
Another reason is because I've been constantly tired so much. I have a bunch of reviews that I've wanted to write and post back during the summer, but I haven't had the chance to do so because I've been so tired from work. I already spend eight hours a day staring at a computer screen and the last thing I want to do is do more of it.
And finally, lately, I've been questioning my place on Prose. There are a lot of good writers and good friends that have sadly left. This isn't new, of course, but it hits harder when you're pretty close to them. Two of my dear friends, Finder and EstherFlowers1, seem to have left the site altogether, and the number of friends still here seem to get smaller and smaller as time goes on. I would have asked voiceinthewind if he knows what's going on, since I believe he still keeps in contact with one of them personally, but unfortunately, we aren't on speaking terms due to the two of us realizing we are not good for each other. So, I don't know anymore. Should I stay? Should I move on as well? That's the kind of conflict I've been struggling with lately. I do love to write, but sadly, the words having come to me as of late. And it saddens me that all those I've called friends aren't here anymore.
So, that's kind of where I'm at right now. I figured I should update you because you're all still dear to me.
Take care, everyone.
Jurassic June: Haast’s Eagle
Name: Haast's Eagle
Named After: Julius von Haast, a German born explorer and geologist.
Haast's Eagle is a large, extinct species of eagle that soared the skies of prehistoric New Zealand during the Pleistocene Epoch and early Holocene. This bird of prey was about the size of an adult person, with a wingspan reaching 2-3 meters in length (approximately 6-9 feet). They also possessed a series of sharp talons that grew to 49 inches. These talons were used to strike and grapple large prey such as New Zealand's large species of flightless bird called the Moa.
While being the largest eagles to have flown, it was also the heaviest. Due to its weight it likely could not have flown great distances but more likely soaring from trees to cliff to other locations.
Of all the prehistoric animals I've written about for Jurassic June, this is one of the most recent animals to have gone extinct. They have survived up until 1400 CE (common era) as man has become the dominant species of New Zealand and their main food source, the Moa, had gone extinct around that time.
#JurassicJune #Megafauna #bird #eagle #prehistoric #education #science
Harry Situation Reviews: The Flash
Sorry, I couldn't resist.
The Flash is the newest and one of the final installments of the original DCEU before James Gunn officially reboots it. It features the return of celebrity criminal Ezra Miller as Barry Allen/The Flash, alongside Michael Shannon as General Zod, Jeremy Irons as Alfred, Ben Affleck as Bruce Wayne/Batman, Kiersey Clemons as Iris West from Zack Snyder's Justice League, and Michael Keaton as an alternate universe Bruce Wayne/Batman, while introducing Sasha Calle as Kara Zor-El/Supergirl.
Barry Allen continues his work as the Scarlett Speedster but carries a heavy weight on his shoulders due to the trauma of witnessing his mother's murder and his father, who he knows is innocent, being framed for said murder. Once he discovers he can use the Speed Force to go back in time, he uses it as an opportunity to save his mother. Unfortunately, his actions cause a cataclysm of events where there are no metahumans and General Zod comes to invade the Earth. In order to save the world Barry needs the help of an alternative version of himself, an alternative version of Bruce Wayne, and the girl of steel.
Honestly, I was very iffy on whether or not I wanted to see this movie, mainly due to Ezra Miller's problematic history with the law in recent years. But I wanted to see this movie because it had Michael Keaton returning to, arguably, his most iconic role. Thankfully, this film turned out to be a good time, regardless of the film starring a controversial lead.
So first positive, and I hate to do so, but I got to give credit to Ezra Miller. They did a great job portraying two different versions of Barry Allen/The Flash. Yeah, they might be a troubled piece of shit human being, but they still are a great actor. The portrayal of these two Barrys was amazing. We have the older, more experienced Barry and his younger eighteen-year-old rookie self. Both play off each other very well. There's even a moment where older Barry gets annoyed with younger Barry's antics and just lashes out at him. To me, that felt like a real moment. Honestly, I think if any of us met our younger selves we'd be annoyed too.
Now let's talk about Michael Keaton's epic return as Batman. For some, this man was their Batman. Me, my Batman will forever be Kevin Conroy (RIP), but Michael Keaton is a close second. He's the man I think of when I think Batman. And to see him dawn the cowl and cape after thirty years is something to behold. He was easily the best part of the movie and a total scene stealer. Hell, I won't lie, but seeing him in the suit, saying that iconic line, "I'm Batman", and then hearing Danny Elfman's theme in the background triggers my nostalgia and puts a big-ass smile on my face.
The humor was on point. There were a lot of jokes that got a good laugh out of me. It's not MCU style of humor but it doesn't have to be.
The action sequences are good too. I liked seeing what the Flash can do with his super speed and it really shows off how fast the Flash truly is. Keep in mind that the man is technically faster than Superman himself. So, seeing him run around while the world is in slow motion, rescuing people and punching bad guys, was a delight.
Addressing the negatives let's start with the CGI. I'm not sure what happened but the CGI in this one was extremely iffy. I mean there were some moments that looked fine like Flash running through the Speed Force. But then there were a ton of moments where the character models had a very uncanny valley look to them. Maybe all their budget went into making the double Barrys because in other areas, even the Flash's suit, it did look great.
Another negative is that the two main Kryptonians, Zod and Supergirl, don't have a ton of screen time. Both characters seem to appear during the third act of the film, and we aren't given much character development from them. I mean you have Michael Shannon reprising as General Zod. You'd think they'd do more with him. But nope, he just appears in the movie, and he's not really the main antagonist in this film.
Keep in mind that this movie is supposed to be a loose adaptation of Flashpoint, which is an event comic that I really enjoyed, however I cannot help but say that this isn't a good adaptation of Flashpoint. I mean it has some of the core elements from that story: Barry changing the past to save his mother, him needing an alternative Batman's help, dealing with an end of the world situation, and ultimately rebooting the universe for better or worse. However, it all feels very messy. If you want a solid adaptation of that check out the animated film Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox.
Regardless, this is a fun movie to watch, and I enjoyed watching it from start to finish. I would recommend giving it a watch.
-Michael Keaton's Batman
-Cool action sequences
-Need more of Supergirl and Zod
-Poor adaptation of Flashpoint
Final Grade: B-
So those are my thoughts on The Flash. Have you seen it? What were your thoughts on it? Please be kind, leave a like and comment, and check out more reviews here on Prose!
Bruce Wayne/Batman: "You wanna get nuts? Let's get nuts."
#HarrySituationReviews #film #opinion #DC #superhero #action #scifi #timetravel #multiverse #Batman
Jurassic June: Arctodus
Name: Arctodus (Ark-Toe-Dus)
Name means: "Bear Tooth"
Arctodus (better known as the giant short-faced bear) was one of the largest genus of bear to have been discovered. This large mammal grew to about 2 meters in length (while on all fours) and stood to about 3 meters tall (while on its hind legs), and weighed over 1700 lbs. This animal lived in North America during the Pleistocene Epoch (approximately 2.5 million years ago), living alongside other megafauna such as the Mammoth and Irish Elk, and even alongside prehistoric humans.
This was a fearsome predator. Unlike most ursine, this bear's diet was reserved for meat. It was also capable of running 40 miles per hour in order to catch its helpless prey and had powerful jaws capable of crushing bone. It would regularly fight against other apex predators such as dire wolves and the Smilodon (saber-toothed cat), chasing them off and stealing their prey.
The giant short-faced bear went extinct approximately 12,000 years ago due to climate change and competition with humans, much like other predatory megafauna. While these predators have gone extinct, one of their descendants still remains, the much smaller South American Spectacled bear.
#JurassicJune #megafauna #education #science #learning
The Iron Sheik
Hossein Khosrow Ali Vaziri, better known to the world as the Iron Sheik, has sadly passed away at the age of 81. He was one of the original professional wrestlers that made pro wrestling what it is today, having played a fierce rival to Sgt. Slaughter and Hulk Hogan. The man was perfect as a heel, but the reality was that he was a good man. He wasn't a perfect man, having had trouble with drugs and the law in the past. But he was well loved and respected by his colleagues and the wrestling fans all over the world.
"Never give up or you are big time jabroni."
The Iron Sheik (1942-2023)
Rest in peace, legend.
#tribute #restinpeace #RIP