Nestled in the mountains’ embrace
the place I called my home.
I looked upon your smiling face
from high upon my throne.
I saw your brown eyes, wet with pain
reflecting trees and sky.
But now I stand alone again
Victimized by pride.
I saw our lives within that gaze
a cabin on a hill.
Set amongst the mountain haze
a vision I have killed.
Now I toss and turn at night
I could never sleep alone.
The mountains are so far out of sight
The nightmares are my home.
I just wanna say off the bat that I am happy to have an online space for everyone to talk about this, and I would love to chat through these comments. My school is closed for right now, but I don't know till when. I am currently so nervous because they are holding a meeting in a few days regarding spring sports and I hope they are still on because it will be my last season with the teammates i've worked hard with, and were going far with this season. I run track btw. Everything happened so fast it's like it's not even real. I remember on Tuesday my school canceled the rest of our winter sports, with basketball on their way to our state championship. We all thought they were completely overreacting until yesterday when it got REAL REAL. When the ivy leage spring sports got canceled, and NBA MLB and March Madness things happened too. It feels like i'm living in a part of history and it's weird beacause I didn't think people who lived through historical events like WWI knew they were living through history, but that it was just the present for them. I feel weird, like the world is going crazy, and I hate not knowing how long this is going to last for, or how bad it's really gonna get. So everyone stay safe!
My true colours.
For the longest time my favourite colour was just beige,
no personality, or originality
I was seen, not heard, from a very young age.
For the longest time I liked the shades of cream,
a people pleaser, a negotiator
when conflict came, I’d dilute the screams.
For the longest time I was mostly unnoticeable,
No opinions, a background colour,
a calming tone of complimentary neutral.
I always thought that beige and cream were metaphors for being nice,
I’d paint myself with shades of stone, even when the colours weren’t right,
I’d smile and nod, say yes to things that really didn’t suit me,
so it’s time to show my true colours ,paint red
........and maybe turn a bit nasty.
Through your eyes the fog is lifted
Transformation to animation
A cycle of water
Fog, condensation, air, water, boiling
Freezing heart of despair
Hear the cries turn inward
Anger in shadows
Now it flows through
Old cycles die, New cycles revive
Dreams are life
Dreams unreal, Now alive
Fantasy through your eyes
"But for the grace of God, go I." They say when they see someone like me.
Worst-case scenario, lowest of all,
I roam the streets hopelessly.
"But where was God's grace for me?" I cry
when my life was mauled apart.
Clawing bills , chewed up jobs
and a vicious attack of a beaten heart.
I swallow the bottle of pills in one go
and I repeat my question once more.
"I shall ask God face-to-face." I vow,
as I pass through those heavenly doors ....
I’m not under control.
Society has a box
crafted just for me
I fit, but too tightly
no room to breathe
so hard to move
I fight, but pointlessly.
Society has a place
where it wants me to be
I wander, but aimlessly
to stay in my lane
or dare to explore
I struggle, but inwardly.
Society's force is strong
it will persist and persist
but my will is stronger
so I resist
and I resist.
Things I can never know
“I am gone quite mad with the knowledge of accepting the overwhelming number of things I can never know, places I can never go, and people I can never be.”
- Sylvia Plath
I love this quote because it speaks to a huge fear of mine; I don’t want to run out of time to accomplish my aspirations. So, I love how this perfectly sums up my thoughts into one sentence where I can articulate how I feel.