I started this year with this in my mind"Be brave and bold". I was for sure not consistent but still I challenged myself to lengths the younger me would be proud. And I am proud of myself too. I learnt more during 2023 than I've learnt for the previous 17 years of my life. Thank u for all the lessons u gave.

I behold the vast sea without an ending in sight. It swallows me in whole and i'm merely dust in its might. I let the moments pour over me and i sink in the moments i've been the happiest, frustrated, angriest,saddest,anxious,bored,touched . I recall the people that i've met in my life. Dear 2023, would you believe me if i told u that u r special. I met good and bad people. I saw the best and worst in people. I learnt the power of words. I understood the importance of kindness. And here I am sinking deep in the smiles and laughs and tears, anxieties and breakdowns, trust issues and trauma,and let them drown me.

..................

They can't

They are just there

Without much power

Because it is I who have that power.

I grew closer with the people who taught me friendship. I am friends with the most wonderful people from school and classes. I feel blessed to have so many supportive friends. They lend me strength and I do the same. I met great teachers who I'm still learning a lot from.

And i've met shitty people. *sighs*Oh I was disappointed and I still don't get why some people act the way they do

But I've come to realize that it's life. Sometimes it is shitty and sometimes it's great and sometimes its neither. It's the same with people but a little more complicated.

I learnt that family is the best thing in my life. 'Understanding', yes, i think it is a power many people possess. But some don't . Some do but ignore it at times. I'm not perfect. None of us are. But we hold a purpose to our lives in mind even if we don't voice it out loud. Or voice it at all. And I haven't realized mine neither. Dear 2023, but you taught me one thing. All the moments that I have lived through upto this moment are now memories I hold dearly. And I'm letting them go.What doesn't kill u make u stronger. And this is the strongest I've ever been. And i will be stronger. I welcome 2024 and i will be brave,bold and kind not exactly in the order.(hehe)

Goodbye 2023!

And if u made it to the end,thank u and happy new year

An autumn leaf

Barely hanging by its stalk

Too precious to fall

The wind comes strong

And the leaf falls

They tell the leaf not to cry

It's the wind's fault

What they don't know is,

The leaf is smiling

For he was rescued by the wind

From the tree that held him back.

My alarm rings at 6.30

No it's not for me to wake up.

I'm already awake and ready

It's to leave the house.

I make haste and step out

Closing the door behind me.

I take out the white ribbon from my gown pocket.

And tie it around the hairband of one braid.

And do the same for the other.

I plaster my polite smile.

Eyes wrinkling

with the corners of mouth moving.

I make it to the bus stop.

I take a quick glance

Wishing there were no boys of my age or older.

If I notice one I dread my awkward reaction

Sometimes a smile

Sometimes none.

They are thinking I'm arrogant.

Not that I'm at a loss on how to interact.

The crowded CTB stops at the halt

We don't get in.

The people inside are sandwiched to save up money.

A bus of a private company comes.

My heart drops a beat.

The daymare I want to erase comes in a rush.

Just like when I see a middle aged man

Short and fat and dark holding a shopping bag.

The bus comes near.

There are only a few standing.

I sigh silently in relief

And gets on.

But it's after I get off near the school that I relax.

I enter the school where

I'll be myself.

A mere student among a thousands

Who only wishes to be bold.