Pinch me now

You're caught in my crossfire

Fell into

Your arms, but they got tired

We're so good aren't we

Till it just stops working

Almost like

We tore out the same page, and

Left a lot of

Room for the same mistakes you

Never quite let me in

Till it gets bad again

I'll stop waving a flag

I'll just drop all caring for that

I go quiet

And you go cold

Hope it passes before

We get

Older

Humour me

Be honest do you

Need a break from me

I see you suffocating

But won't you just look at me

Or am I too draining

You spent hours awake

Holding me, said it was okay

I was crying

But you got tired

Hope it passes before

We get

Older

And there's a funny little mutation to the

tangled and mangled pieces left

of what was once my vibrant heart. But my love was strangled!

Harpooned like the massive beast it was,

and robbed from me by those charming hands of yours;

however,

I really think you could have done without all the theatrics.

And you know it's not in my nature to stand so bold

nor steal the limelight

from any other passengers that may have dared to hitchhike along the

winded and crisscrossed junction to your heart.

I wish I would've given up my seat ticket.

Though, I believe if you had chosen one of them,

that they would one day come upon that crossroads, too,

where you have discarded what remains of me.

To be judged.

For you were wrapped in the devil's flesh all along!

And how sweet and delicious was every word you breathed my way!

How quickly I became tipsy in the presence of you!

My insecurities took absence from my rationality for quite a bit as well,

and you bruised the gentle humming that

sang out from my eager heart. Pitter-patter.

Thud.

I shamefully admit my pitiful crumbling at your feet.

That nasty hex you spat at me

really attached itself, and it was so powerful! So sneaky!

Overindulging of my spirit, little by little,

and by snippet to tidbit,

as my submissiveness animated your sick little fantasy.

I never knew I could be so appallingly disgraceful towards myself;

that I could let a toxicity like you get by me! AAHH!

In this pathetic, stale waste I have become,

I beg of you,

please,

to show a color of mercy for what's left of my name.

But,

here you come; and without a caring hand for me.

Sigh. Another battle that your ego aggravates, and I have no choice but to

hang my head in embarrassment,

silently regretting this path I took under you.

How terrible is the devil's charade!

The great lakes would swallow you,

the ocean not know you're there.

The Finger Lakes will cradle

and expand your life, and share.

Water a mile across.

Water an hour long.

Water white-capped in the wind

and glass at night when it's gone.

Stand beside it with some wine;

drink its bounty deep.

Smell and gaze and hear and taste.

Feel its breadth, then sleep.

If Ever

If I ever see another sunrise,

or hear the bubbling sounds of a lake;

if I ever see another sunset,

or taste a single falling snowflake,

I will hold on to the wisdom,

held inside my vision,

of the love you feel for me.

If I ever see another ocean,

hear it rushing to the shore;

if I ever see another mountain,

or taste your lips to my very core,

I will hold on to the moment,

where things will be just fine,

and know that once again, you are mine.

If I ever see another day,

or feel your breath float across my skin;

if I ever have that moment it feels as if it will slip away,

or taste that time with you, special as it is,

I will hold on to every second,

and keep them close to me;

today, tomorrow and eternity.

Please grab my hand.

The current of this ocean is strong,

Pulling me down like quick sand.

Please I’m begging you,

I’m drowning in life,

But my biggest aspiration is to stand.

I wanted to live a life a joy,

A life of unforgettable memories,

However, my life itinerary didn’t go as planned.

My life has no meaning,

Everything I do is for a documentary.

My beliefs have crashed,

I’m materialistic,

Always concerned about accessories.

Every trauma haunts me.

Every.

I cope with alcohol and isolation.

They’re my remedies.

1

Living off of dreams and drinking cold water

With a little bit of luck and not much else 

2

Instead of this once, there is an un-timeless

Nests are for birds, but men like to share

3

Figments and fractures that take all the courage 

Seem like a dust that never says never

4

Wish there was love in the depths of the circle

But prophecies come and never go far

5

They fill in the gaps with stardust and glitter

Sometimes waking up things that don’t breathe

6

Figurehead spirits and flea market treasures 

Get it all wrong with nothing to keep

At the edge of every horizon,

two lovers start.

At the end of every horizon.

two lovers are torn apart.

At the edge of every horizon,

pale blue wimpers for the kiss of it's aqua conterpart.

At the edge of every horizon,

every day brings broken hearts.

At the edge of every horizon,

you can hear two faint whispers,

and if you strain, you can feel it too.

At the edge of every horizon,

you can feel the endless moaning crawling over you,

sans Tsovinar, sans Hemera too.

At the edge of every horizon,

these two lovers start.

At the end of every horizon.

these two lovers are torn apart.

And even though the world was too cruel for love so pure,

even the same shades of each colour destined to be apart.

Every mistake has an certain cure,

for true love erupts, when two lovers start.

01/18/19

Life is amazing.

Don’t you ever think that

Life sucks.

Life grants us many opportunities.

Never will anybody say

Sadness is among us.

I love the world.

So you’ll never hear me say that

I want to kill myself.

Honestly,

Who wants to die?

I’m happy.

I don’t mean it when I tell you that

My life sucks.

Truly,

My joy could fill the depth of the ocean.

I’m being sarcastic when I tell you that

My heart is cold and sad.

The world is beautiful.

When I was young I declared that

Life is hopeless.

Be happy.

I will never

Pull the trigger.

if there is one thing i have learned

it is that you do whatever you want

you find that thing that makes you feel alive

and you do it

because in the end

we all die anyway