Stuck and Anxious
Afraid.
Tired.
I chose this path,
No longer can laugh.
Not feeling ready,
Hands not steady.
Expectations are high,
But just want to cry.
Please give me a break,
It is all fake.
It meaning me,
Why can’t I be free?
Not fit for this role,
Need to heal my soul.
All wax no wick,
Made myself sick.
My heart palpating,
My thoughts racing.
But what else would I do,
If not just go through?
Too late to turn back.
Cask
The ache spreads
For they no longer sleep.
But it’s not the beds,
They weep.
The numbness creeps
To heavy head.
A tear seeps.
Smile instead.
They don’t feel pain.
They don’t feel rain.
They just don’t feel at all,
Such a doll.
No.
Stop.
You’re wrong.
That’s not.
What we’re supposed to be.
But can’t you see?
It’s killing me.
Slowly…
Mine.
Red stains,
Piercing cries,
Whimpers,
Silent breathing.
A baby,
One to call mine;
A girl,
One to adore.
The bed is empty,
The house quiet,
The birds have left,
She was taken.
My hope,
My love,
My life,
Gone.
Walk the empty
Streets full of pain,
Blades concealed,
Cold on heated skin.
Only a door, a wall,
A world, a conscience
Stand before me, and
I will bring back what is mine.
Homesick for No Home
I feel sick.
There’s a knot in my stomach,
A pounding in my head,
A pressure in my ears,
An ache in my throat.
Is this what it’s like?
To be homesick?
I feel the need to flee
And fly back—or forward,
I don’t know,
Just get me away from here.
But home. What is home?
How can be I be homesick
Yet never feel at home?
Home is not home,
People are not home.
I have no home.
The feeling follows me everywhere;
The emptiness a throbbing reminder
That I must figure it out,
Nothing will magically fill this hole.
Until then I shall live on
With the longing,
One day I will find home.
One day when I am ready.