Open, all is cracked,
Wispy eyes and a hushed face
quiet tears are split.
My first step towards
I call a place, nothingness,
what they call a life?
I breathe in unknown,
surrounded by the warmth, friend
cracked heart or fire ball.
My hands are worn, burnt
thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, doom
count the seconds past.
Restless heart, could stop
old, wrinkled, may skin be dry.
Pierced soul, wounded deep.
The large pistol was pointed directly on the centre of my forehead. I felt my blood veins pulsing but not for long. I heard my heart pumping blood but soon my body would be at the end of its time. A lifeless body but the spirit would remain locked in my skull. I could distinctly see the outline of three figures. One person wore red and the other two wore blue. They all shouted something loud but soft. It was time for me to go like all the others had. I felt something hit my skin before my thoughts ended.
96 boxes of chance
You and a group of prisoners are told that one of you will be set free today if they win the challenge. The challenge is that there are 96 boxes and 96 prisoners including you. The prisoner who opens the box with the star is set free and the rest of the prisoners stay in jail for eternity. What strategy do you use to make sure that you are definitely the prisoner that is set free?
By Emma Mith
According to Siri, your ears never stop growing. That means while I’m writing this sentence my ears are growing. While Grady is tending the orchids his ears are growing. While Ms. Peony is slowly lifting the bread off the rack in the bakery, her ears are growing. While our next door neighbor Judy is grumbling under her breath her ears are growing. Actually I take that back. I don’t think “Judy’s” ears are growing because I don’t think she’s a human. She’s basically a witch but she despises cats and wears a colorful cardigan instead of those hideous black gowns. I know she probably has a magic wand somewhere hidden in a closet. I just know it.
I wonder when I turn ninety if my ears still grow bigger because just looking at Ms. Peony I doubt that she can hear anything even if I scream at her through a megaphone. Maybe you start to lose hearing when you get into your nineties because logically the larger your ears the better you can hear. When I turn ninety I hope my ears still work fine because I would LOVE to be able to hear about every single scheme Judy’s planning with her fellow witch crew. I mean don’t witches live an extra 90 or 100 years so I doubt she’ll be dead by the time I hit ninety. Unless she’s not actually a witch but let's not talk about that. I mean I’m twenty-three and Judy’s like sixty or something rather. So by the time I’m ninety she’ll be around a hundred-and-twenty so I’ll still have time. I don’t actually know what old Judy is because Judy says that if she tells me “bad spirits' ' will come. I also suck at math especially adding so I’m probably wrong but whatever. I’m probably making too big of a deal over ages and numbers.
What do you think witches do when they have a witch meeting? They probably talk about who they're going to kill next, how to kill them, when to kill them, where they kill them and more. I mean being a witch is pretty boring. You’ve got to act like a sweet old grandmother who misses their grandchildren a lot but secretly your ambition is just to kill humans and break them into tiny pieces. I also wonder where witches have their witch meetings. I mean you can’t have it in your house because that's not private enough. I also know that you probably can’t book a reservation at a restaurant for 2 am unless it's a restaurant like McDonald which I think is a huge no-no for witches.
I saw Judy today sitting on her front porch reading a book called Heidi which is a book about a girl who grows to be a happy girl and loves nature. I mean the only nature I think witches like is human nature. Judy always gives me those chills down my spine and that smile that looks as if engraved to her face is sick. I’m literally about to puke. She probably hid another book behind the book Heidi because I could never see a witch learning about such kindness and playfulness that Heidi possesses. Anyway I told my husband John about Judy and Hey! Their names kind of match. Regardless, He said that I should take some strawberries to get to know Judy better. Johns is an optimist and he’s always telling me not to worry but we all know that Judy is nothing better than a foul, ugly looking creature. Pathetic. Tomorrow John and I are taking over strawberries freshly from the garden of our cousin Dann who is one of the kindest people I’ve ever met. The complete opposite of Jarring Judy. Anyway I hope I don’t get killed in her lair of misfortune.
Wish me luck
Never say never is what my husband always says. If someone offers to take you Antartica with shelter, water or food, my husband's answer would always be yes. Today we experienced just that but we surprisingly came out alive and there were no ice bergs. I'm starting to question my logic and I’m wondering if Judy is actually a witch because after my thorough examination I found nothing witchy about her except her creepy smile. Never judge a book by its cover. I guess.
Anyway so we walked up to her driveway and here she is again reading Heidi on her front porch with her legs crossed. I gulped and we carefully walked up to her while she pretended that she couldn’t hear us even though we were making a lot of noise in the driveway stepping on gravel.
“Ah, Emma and John, great to meet you.” Judy laughed as if she hadn’t just seen us. I immediately wanted to go but John was persistent.
“ Great to see you too. We bought some strawberries for you. They're fresh from our friend, Dan's garden. Amazing guy. How are you?” My husband asked as he placed a fake smile on his face that mirrored Judy’s smile. He quickly set down the strawberries on the empty seat
“Not good. My doctor diagnosed me with skin cancer so I have a surgery on Tuesday. I hope that goes well. Thank you again.” Judy announced in a strangely pompous voice. Her skin was sallow and truthfully she did look like she had a severe condition of skin cancer. I was very curious as to why she sounded so proud. I did feel a tiny bit sorry and I could tell so was my husband.
“Well I know that John has work next Tuesday but I am completely free on Tuesday. I could come to your appointment with you that way if you need extra help getting home I can assist.”
I surprisingly offered. I was quite shocked that those words had rolled out of my mouth but I held my mouth shut and smiled widely. Every second that passed seemed to feel like forever.
“Thank you so much. I would love for you to come. Please come in and enjoy lunch with me.” I was having second thoughts. Having lunch with a witch could be deadly. I was positive she was a witch. I just wasn’t sure. After a lot of thought I went in hoping to be able to leave any second. I took a last look at the strawberries to see a brown dot. Since I didn’t bring my glasses I suspected it was a bug so I immediately went over to check before my husband rushed me in the house and went to fix the strawberries. I was so nervous to have lunch with a witch. I mean how often does this actually happen. So—
Sorry John needs me to help make dinner. Tell you the rest later.
Anyway, I went inside and all that could reach my nose was the foul smell of rotten eggs. I looked around to see plain green paint carelessly spread on the walls. The green was a horrible vivid green that made me want to faint. Apart from the surprisingly fluorescent walls everything else seemed to be granny-like. I mean there was one of those tall, big, ancient clock-things. The plates seemed prehistoric and there was no air conditioning. When it’s 97 degrees Fahrenheit all I want to do is be able to have a nice lunch with the air conditioning ON. Anyway Judy sure did take a long time getting to the dinner table. I sat patiently while I watched John be a gentleman and help out with the bowls. I then gasped out loud in frustration to see a huge dollop of soup being served into the 3 plastic bowls. I carefully grabbed mine and winced. I did not need this to happen to me. This was pure torture. I watched John sit down and immediately swallow what looked like a distressing concoction. Grimacing, I pushed down a liquid form of zucchini and ice cream. Although I hated the food, I did feel astonished to find that I wasn’t dead or in any need of medication. My husband who seemed also quite shocked played along and complemented Judy’s cooking.
Judy started a lame conversation with my husband about the weather while I looked around. There was no magic wand, no evidence of a murder, no cats. I started to suspect myself of hallucinating when I thought of something. Maybe Judy had used her witchy-powers to predict that we were coming over today so she had hid the evidence in a room upstairs. I immediately cut through their animated conversation to question.
“ So Judy, you live here alone right?” I asked in a way that showed I wanted a detailed answer. I glanced up to see her smile fade the smallest bit.
“Yes darling. Oh how sssscrumptious you look tonight. I could just eat you.” Judy answered in a very hypnotizing way. I watched Judy get up and look for some sort of rushed manner. That’s when it hit me. Judy wasn’t joking about what she had said. Did she really want to eat me? Was she a vampire? I needed more evidence before I could place an accusation.
“ Thank You! Do you think I could look around your house? I would love to be able to see the view from the balcony.” I replied insistently to make sure she understood. I knew she was making mischief and I wanted to be the one to catch it. There would be nothing I could accuse her for that was in the kitchen I needed to see more.
“I would love to invite you for a tour but unfortunately I have a counsel meeting to run off to now so I must leave otherwise I’ll be late.” Judy yelled in a way that let me know that it was the end of the discussion. I couldn’t help noticing the aggressive tone in her voice. She bustled of into a another room down the whole before shooing us out of her house.
“That was weird.” John uttered as he rubbed his head and patted me carefully on the shoulder he knew I was in a state of confusion and wanted to be left alone.
“More like Fishy.” I mumbled before walking into our front door.
I don’t know what it is but I have a feeling that Judy’s hiding something. I know it.
Anyway it’s like four in the morning and I should probably get some sleep.
I’m really regretting agreeing to go to Judy’s surgery because first of all I don't know if she's a witch, a vampire, a goblin or werewolf you name it. According to Judy the place she’s having her surgery is Mufaja hospital which in my opinion sounds like something out of a fairy tale. I doubt it’s even a real hospital. Anyway I’m wondering whether I should just fake plans so I don’t have to go to her surgery because the last way I want to die is being killed by a witch/vampire/goblin/werewolf. I mean I’m 99.999999% sure that I'm gonna get killed in the hospital so if I want to live a long and happy life I should probably plan something because just by her secretive manner I can tell some things up.
I’m currently thinking of excuses to make so I can get out of this “surgery problem” with Judy. I mean the best excuse I thought of was that my friend’s wedding is on the same day. I could also say that one of my friends' birthdays is on the same day but deep down we all know that going to support a neighbor when she’s having a surgery is more important than going to a friends party. I should've never said I could go. I just felt the words come out of my mouth and there was no way to explain it. I’ve asked John what I should do and he just said I was overreacting but I definitely wasn’t. When I asked him to come along so I felt safe he gulped and made a lame excuse on how he needed to go to the bathroom and would talk later. Well sometimes optimists aren’t very optimistic I suppose.
It’s currently 7:56pm and if the surgery is the day after tomorrow at exactly 2:15pm I have exactly 29h 57 minutes or something rather because like I said I suck at math.
I’ve got a plan! John said he can cover for me and say that I’m sick with a cold and so he came. He’s going to pick up Judy and stay with her at the hospital and then drop her off at her house next to ours. That way I can stay home and relax and I don’t need to worry about dying. Perfect. John is so sweet to do this for me. I wonder why he was so happy to do this for me when he was shivering before about the idea.
Anyway that’s all for tonight and I know I didn’t write much but I seriously need to get some sleep because it’s like 12 in the morning.
While I’m eating my cornflakes, I can feel my hand shaking in the darkness. I think this is normal, right. I dunno. I mean John looks pretty confident. I guess I should follow his lead. I mean how bad could this be?
See you later.
If I’m alive.
OH THAT WITCH IS DEAD TO ME. HOW DARE SHE? HOW DARE SHE? WHAT’S HER PROBLEM WITH THE WORLD? WHY IS IT ME SHE HAS TO DO THIS MISERABLE AND ANNOYING SPELL ON LIKE WHY? OH SHE’S THAT FILTHY SCUM. THAT PESKY LITTLE-
OH THAT LITTLE VERMIN CREATURE WITH THAT WEIRD CLOAK OF WITCHINESS. WHAT DOES SHE WANT FROM AN INNOCENT PERSON LIKE ME. OH JUDY THAT LITTLE THING OF DREARINESS AND SADNESS. SO WHAT HAPPENED, calm down Emma, John took Judy to that Hospital in his red toyota and I made sure to tell him that he could call me whenever he was in danger or needed help because after all we were in this together. I was really worried and what made me feel that this was a bad idea was the way Judy was staring as if she knew I was there. It was like she knew I wasn’t sick and was ready to do anything to keep John and I’s relationship going. I saw her smile widen when she waved goodbye to her house. She was showing her teeth that were crooked and browning and looked as if they were left in a can of soda for days. She hopped in before it made me wonder why Judy was so happy about her surgery. I mean shouldn’t she be anxious about the results. Before I could stop the car they had already driven off the driveway and onto the road. I was deeply disturbed during their absence and was determined to find a way to stop any trouble from happening. Our house only had one car and I knew I could have borrowed Ms.Katie's car but I was truly scared that Judy would spot me in the mall and rat me out. I knew witches could technically see through somebody's disguise.
When they got home I saw Judy come out of John's car with a smile that made her face light up. Her cheeks were a healthy crimson red and her hair seemed to be more curly than imagined. She was almost a human except for her soul. Her soul was in other words permanently damaged because of witchiness. I assumed the surgery had gone well and I went over to greet John at the door. He looked tired and very sleepy. He charged in without saying a word to me before locking the door of his bedroom. I was confuzzled. NO matter how sleepy he was John had always greeted me with a smile he had never just stormed in. I followed him and waited outside his room for 10 seconds before calling his name quietly.
“ John. Are you all right?” I asked patiently before I knocked on the door softly. John must’ve fallen asleep or something and I was just about to go confront Judy when I wondered whether Judy had fed John any information.
“John, Did Judy tell you anything that you need to tell me?” I questioned patiently. I wanted actual evidence before I made an accusation.
“JUDY! Is she here?” He half screamed and immediately flung open the door. His face was burning with happiness and his cheeks were a bright red. He ruffled his brownish hair before looking at me weirdly and it looked like he wanted me to lead him to Judy.
I stormed out of the front door to find Judy only to find she had disappeared. There was no trace of her in the house. When I went upstairs I found a note saying ‘HIS SOUL WILL STAY WITH ME.’ Confused, I left the house and called the police. That’s when I realized Judy had taken John's soul and left. I was devastated and the police said they were calling a search party.
10 years later…
Today marks the ten year anniversary of Judy’s disappearance and guess what the authorities found her dead in a shack in Afghanistan. She had a dog but he was in terrible condition and was sent to an adoption shelter. John and I are so happy and it turns out Judy was actually a phantom and needed other people’s souls to live that’s why she made up that story about her surgery. I HATE JUDY but she got what she deserved and I’m not going to say anymore. Anyway I think I need to go to bed. I'm tired and I really want to see our new dog Snoopy.
Lot of love
The beauty of siri
You want humour.
Not happening today.
I'm an independent person.
I've got stuff to do ya know.
Wait just a sec.
So first step, what is humour? Hey siri, give me a definition of humour. The quality of being amusing or comic? Ehh.
Hey siri, So how can I sum up my humour? 3 seconds later . . . okay I found this on the web for "how can I sum up my humour" check it out. Do you need anything else? NO SIRI NOTHING ELSE!
Ten tips to improve my humour. Siri, you mindless thing. BTW Alexa's way better than you. Git.
Thanks for making me lose 5 whole smackers.
The next day
ALEXA JUST GO AWAY! Siri's so much better. Thank god Adam Cheyer became an engineer.
CHOOSE ONE: Hell or Heaven
Two ways a person can go.
One is to Heaven where the angels rest
and where the swans crow.
Where the beds made of cotton finer than silk
and where the rainbows end.
The roses and the marigolds
held close to the heart of a cupid.
For love that is held here
where nothing can interfere.
The second is to Hell where all the demons awake.
Where you can find not one but many
catastrophes that stay are revealed from the sand.
The red walls of fire that cannot seem to end.
If you've learnt how to read hell is not for you
because only robbers and people like you-know-who
set their first and last step in hell.
That's my everything, all I know
and all I dare to think.
All that triggers my mind
and all I've got to cry about is
Heaven or Hell.
Even though there were only 6 people on the submarine it still felt like thousands of people were on board. It was 1999 one hour till new years. Almost everyone was crazy. I mean I could understand it was the 2000’s. With a new century came new fashion, new trends, new celebrities and new technology. I was sure that I wasn’t the only one not fond of flip phones.
Empty cups were disposed of in a sink that from a far distance looked like a steering wheel. I sat on the edge of the dance floor and let the animated conversations wash over me. I didn’t exactly know who Michael Jackson was and I had never been to a buffet but despite my confusion I let the words cover me like a warm blanket.
I was 19 and only just figuring my life out. I was just learning how to maintain work and leisure time. Life was so confusing for me to follow. It was like a never ending map full of complicated signs and paths. I saw Mr and Mrs. Cello dancing wildly in the middle of the floor. Mrs. Cello in her mid 30’s had pulled out some of her best shoes and accessories. Her diamond earrings captivated the person who beheld them. Mr. Cello who was a plump man who spoke in a way that I would call a “distraction to public society.” How Mr. Cello and Mrs.Cello ever got married was a wonder. Mrs. Cello had really high expectations for a husband and secretly everyone knew that Mr. Cello was nothing more than a foul pig.
The other 3 people on the ship were the Captain, Ms. Rollestor and her son, Oliver who was nothing but a vile troublemaker. I would doubt that one day Oliver would be called a threat to society because he already was. Hiding his mother’s 50 thousand dollar ring and then purposely lighting the house on fire to kill his supposedly “loud” dog. It took minutes for the Rollestor’s 90 million dollar estate to be burned to ashes. I suppose the reason Oliver ended up being a gangster was because Ms. Rollestor who was a single mother who did NOT have a heart of gold. She was filthy rich because she had a father who spoiled her at the age of 50 with lavish gifts and thousands of dollars everyday. The only reason Ms. Rollestor came on the submarine was because she was bugged by her father to find a husband who could surpass her demands.
Or was it something else?
I drank my whiskey and watched Oliver beat up his mum and the Cello’s smoke cigarettes. I finished my whiskey in a gulp and the drink burned my throat. I then drank 5 more cups before I chucked my wine glass in the basin and staggered up to the captain.
“Howdy!” I remarked. The whiskey fumes must’ve really gotten into my head because before long I was moaning Believe by Cher.
“When we getting back?” I asked in a slow and calm voice, swaying slightly.
“We only have oxygen for 10 hours now. We arrive in an hour so I suggest being prepared.” The captain answered in a way that was blunt and brute. He looked like he didn’t want anything to do with me. I suppose it was because my breath stinked crazy like rum and whiskey. Since I was drunk I took no notice of what he said.
I went to my room and took some medication. I immediately felt much better and stared out of the window. We were so deep. I slept for about half an hour before I woke up in a startled manner. That’s when I checked my watch and saw the time. 2:35. We were about to arrive in 5 minutes. I ran to the ballroom to see Mr and Mrs. Cello dragging their feet and the Rollestors were somewhere unknown. I bounced to the quarterdeck and opened the door to find the captain unconscious. His head was drooped and there was blood everywhere. His pockets were turned and a rusty knife was on the floor. What was I to do? I checked his pulse to feel nothing. I had just been with him almost 50 minutes ago but what could have happened. There was nothing I could do about that but I had bigger things to worry about like how we were going to land.
I had no experience with submarines. I was only a student studying computer science at the University of Chicago. I was nothing special but I was the only person not drunk. Who knows where the other people were. I grabbed the steering wheel from one side and yanked it sideways. I had no experience with this but I did know that you could make the submarine reach the surface at will. I pressed a yellow button and suddenly a siren went on. Was that for help? I immediately pressed it again to make everything quiet. I then picture back to when I was in the room. Even though I was heavily intoxicated I still remembered the red button in the corner that the captain pressed to make the submarine ascend. I immediately reached for it and hit it with all my might before tilting the steering wheel. Suddenly I felt the submarine pull towards the surface of the ocean.
Finally we were above the water. I checked my watch. 4:00 pm. I then turned the steering wheel forwards to find a bay with ships and cargo. Even though I didn’t know if it was the dock I had to land here it was our only hope of survival. I then phoned the police on my rusty flip phone and waited intently in the seat, scared to move. I sat there and wondered why the others hadn't noticed the ship was suddenly still. I abruptly noticed a silver earring just like the one Mrs. Cello had. I fished it out and inspected it. Interesting.
It took 1 full hour for the police to come to the dock and inspect the murder scene.
“Sir I don’t want to alarm you but if you don’t have some other evidence we’ll have to lock you up.” muttered one of the 4 police officers.
“Aren’t there security cameras?” I questioned cautiously. I felt very uncomfortable and angry. I was the one who saved the submarine. Why should I be punished?
“There aren’t- What’s that?” the short police officer asked curiously. He picked it up and touched it.
“A SECURITY CAMERA!” I screamed with happiness.
A police officer named Joe played back the footage to see a person with dirty jet black hair stab the Captain before a woman in a sparkly dress and silver earrings handed him money before they both rushed away.
The police immediately searched the submarine as I felt so relieved but confused. Why had Oliver killed the Captain? Why did Mrs. Cello pay him? I wonder in the silent darkness. The police never found them and how they left was a mystery. All I knew was that I had just escaped twice in one day.
Meaning of life
You can live one month with no food
You can live three weeks with no exercise
You can live 11 days with no sleep,
You can live 3 days with no water
You can live 3 hours with no shelter
You can live 3 minutes with no air.
What is the meaning of life you say?
To eat whatever you can find, do 100 jumping jacks, sleep as much as you want, go to the Greek and drink the Nile river, live in a tent and never get rid of your lungs.
If you do these things you'll be fine!