If you ever say to me:

"I am fine"

I will believe that you are half-dead inside.

You are never fine,

I am never fine,

Instead we are both neglecting

whatever raw emotions we truly feel

And really what's so different,

between neglecting ourselves,

neglecting our feelings,

And being half dead?

You are not fine.

We aren't learning basic emotions,

Like we're in preschool learning colors,

We are human,

and like it or not,

We 

Feel 

Everything.

"I am" and "do not"

are the two most used contractions

in the English language,

Because no one ever tried to shorten,

to simplify the weight of "I feel"

Yet we still often say to ourselves

"Don't feel the emotions you're feeling"

"Don't show the tears"

"Don't commit because at the end of the day,

we know we'll get hurt"

"Don't say you are broken"

You are never broken.

Broken means:

"No longer working the way it should"

How are humans supposed to work?

Any answer neglects the unique loves,

Unique passions 

each of us possesses

Any answer possesses the same lack of power,

That "I'm fine" does.

You are never fine, 

Never have been, 

Never will be,

But, if its any consolation,

You are never broken,

And will never be broken either,

Humans have the capability to do hard things,

To feel hard emotions,

That's what makes us beautiful.

#spokenword #hardthings #poetry #potential

Never trust this pretty boy with light skin,

Never trust this pretty boy with light skin,

Whose words never fail to redecorate him,

Whose heart is both pure and hard,

But, you can’t see that,

He just wants you to see the pure.

He won’t let you see the tears behind his eyes when he smiles 

knowing he’s still so far from who he wants to be.

Who he’s meant to be.

You can’t trust this pretty boy with light skin

Who’s stories will try to make one forgive their own sin,

Who’s heart is so warm yet holds fear within,

Who’s always had struggles to lift up his chin

You can’t trust this pretty boy with light skin because he wears a mask

This mask,

This mask,

Is worn so well that even he has accepted it as a part of his body.

But when he bears the courage...

I still hope you see this pretty boy with light skin

who cries among all that goes well for him,

Who struggles to love and is too naive on the surface. 

I hope you can forgive him for being young,

he doesn’t really know what it feels like to be loved.

I hope that when you see this pretty boy with light skin,

You can easily win over his trust, 

So that he can share with you his pain.

So that he can finally open up about why there’s a switchblade in his nightstand drawer,

It’s not just to cut his toenails, 

I hope he tells you before you notice,

That he bites his fingernails off,

Sometimes out of anxiety; sometimes out of habit.

I hope he shares with you why he’s so sensitive to being led on,

Why he worries about giving too much,

And why he’s so protective when he knows others are in pain,

He thinks he’s a stuffed animal at heart, 

A warm soft shield of love and affection,

Like hot cocoa,

It’s because this pretty boy with true tanned golden skin and milk-chocolate colored eyes,

He wishes he were compassionate.

He’s not

His mask is.

But his mask is fading.

It was really never his choice in the first place,

It’s called growing up.

Nowhere to hide for this pretty boy with light skin.

#spokenword #mileshodges #maskless

Spoken Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1G15VIgmB4

There are no times of peace, I've learned.

Only places.

Only places where violence and confusion isn't what we've learned to accept.

I've learned that sometimes I just have to breathe and concentrate on what's real,

Inhale violence,

Pain,

Hate,

Exhale confusion,

Pain,

Anger.

The dust doesn't settle in my mind.

It can't,

and with every breath it whirlwinds around,

restlessly.

It enters the system,

and multiplies.

It leaves only in rare moments where the only thing I can do.

Is breathe.

Take in your surroundings.

Inhale violence, 

Pain, 

Corruption.

Exhale confusion,

Pain,

Anger.

Inhale Peace,

Love,

Beauty.

Exhale Strength,

Passion,

Wonder.

Just breathe.