In the blink of an eye,

Present tense becomes past tense

And he was here but

Now he isn’t.

And you won’t move on.

You never think your parents will die

Until they do.

Then all you can think about,

Is the inevitability of death

And you won’t move on.

Because when someone so tall,

So unmovable,

Is moved by an unstoppable force,

The earth shatters.

The air stills.

The water warms.

And you won’t move on.

And all is silent,

For only a second.

Then, there is noise.

Noise so loud, glass shatters,

And wood splinters.

And you will miss things

You never even took care to think about.

The way his car had manual window cranks,

The way he played music in the supermarket,

The way the fast food resturant staff knows- knew him by name.

Those were things you never thought you’d miss.

And you won’t move on.

Because unlike the wounds he bore, that never got the chance to heal,

Your’s will scab and scar over

The blemish will be there

And you won’t move on.

But the clocks will keep ticking,

And the sun will keep rising and setting,

And you won’t move on

And you won’t move on.

But you will move forward.

Eventually.

And I fell asleep

Holding her hand.

And the dogs turned into wolves

And the wolves turned into

Men screaming at me that

I'm not hurting loud enough.

And I'm not hurting at all

But

I am

But

I shouldn't

So how can I scream

With a clogged drain for a throat

And the sink is overflowing

And I'm not too sure

That I want to swallow

So I'll wait

Wait

Wait

Until the floor is drowning too

Only then

Will I fall asleep

Holding her hand.