i dreamt i was a buddhist, but

it turned out i was wrong...

...i'm only just a house cat

that has slept a teense too long,

and now i'm just awaking...

...what a funny state i'm in!...

i dreamt i was a buddhist monk...

when did that dream sneak in?...

where do i get these crazy views?...

it's really very strange

when i sleep on a couch all day,

and live so out of range

of any eastern thought beliefs...

...where do i get the gall

to meditate, and be a flower

while rolled up in a ball?...

i dreamt i was a buddhist, but

it turned out i was wrong...

...i'm only just a house cat

that has slept a teense too long,

and now i'm just awaking...

...what a funny state i'm in!...

i dreamt i was a buddhist monk...

when did that dream sneak in?...

02-10-20

Slack i Salessie

How selfish can I be

But I just can’t let go

You mean the world to me

And it’s breaking my heart

To know I have to say goodbye

I even know how much you suffer

But I still want you to stay

I can’t think what it would even be without you

And I can’t help but want you to stay

I know it’s selfish of me

But I hope you could understand

But it’s ok to go

Where I know you will be in peace

One day we shall meet again

It’s not you

It’s me

I said.

It’s not you who always gives in

It’s me.

It’s not you who always pays up

It’s me.

It’s not you who likes to socialise with other people in a healthy way

It’s me.

It’s not you who had an affair because it was such fun and felt more exciting than staying in with a faithful love

It’s me.

It’s not you who walked away leaving a sweet, innocent woman heartbroken and devastated.

It’s me.

I’m sorry.

Say you want love but you don't know what love is

When it comes it will blow out the windows

It will rob you blind while you cry out in joy

While you search in all the wrong places

It'll sneak up on you

It'll hit you where you're weak

No matter the amount of notability.

Your writings have capabilty.

To either hurt or inspire peoples ability.

Your writings have huge impacts on other writers.

Songwriters, screen writers, and even your smiters.

Your writings can even make your future brighter.

Be careful as a writer, don’t protray as a liar.

If you act different than the way you spell.

In absolute darkness you will dwell.

Gobbled up by the lies you tell.

Then put in a bottomless prison cell.

Big writers can be in deep trouble in just a second.

Going from legend to a person to be reckoned.

Make sure you don’t fall and learn a lesson.

That liars don’t get far, in their writings fake essence.

I'm in my lane, use to my pain

Shaking off stains, scars remain

Never been the same since

My grandma passed away

She was my anchor in these storms

Now I'm blown away

Fighting to stay sane

Questioning everything

Authority is boring but a strain

Lock me in a cage for medicating off label

No fable, true stories in my veins

Too true for my own good, never stable

Never stable this stubborn mustang

Too many years of thoughtless pain

Buck for no reason or the rain

Only thing stays the same is everything changes

I'm in my lane, strap to my brain

Wait, I've got so much more to relate

Never pull the trigger

I'm use to my pain it's just the paint

On the walls of my yesterdays

These days my lips curve into a smile more

Got my momma back need nothing more

Well, maybe just palm treed shores

A little bit of peace between the storms

Either way make it out a little stronger

New layer added to my armor

Tell my momma no more drama

Just the fast lane with no delays

Bullet proofed all my cars

Just in case that shit changes

Rather be safe than sorry

Ask for forgiveness before permission

I'm an eighties baby in remission

Flipping pages; making revisions

Make sure it's perfect before I deliver it

My own worst critic I hate my shit

That's probably why no ones heard of it

Been in my own lane so long

Seeing another whip is unnerving

So excuse me if I stray from dotted lines

Got a lot of things on my mind

Gotta get home, feeling sober I

Need the weed just to feel normal things

Use to my pain but numb from its sting

Blaze a little herb lay a couple verbs and adjectives

Attitude, don't intrude on my vibe

Am I really alive or dying to live?

Feeling ill from all the lies they give

I still regurgitate truth as fire

In tune to the masses from the class

Of empty glasses, we refill them

Strayed into my lane no skidding

Just hit it all head on, so convincing

Folks think I don't need anything

But the hole in me is deepening

A black hole of desire, no reasoning

Addictions could still kill me I know this

I'm in my pursuit of happiness

Need my bic to spark my Bliss, my cannabis

In my lane I never swerve

From the land of savages

My pain has become a sword

That I use to slay, my words can be abrasive

So I stay in my lane

To protect others from my pain

It's ingrained in my brain

Hieroglyphic cave wall paint

I'm no saint but I show restraint

Faded but I'm straight,

One hand out the window other on the wheel

Staying in my lane

Praying for my enemies

Cause I know that hate is not worth the energy

And I got so much untapped love inside of me

A geyser of wiser diviner metaphors

That use me as vessel for remembering

Till I'm enslaved to the scribbling

Of cyphers I've been dissecting

An intellectual into dissenting

I'm in my lane venting

Pray I make it home in one piece

Till then seeking peace till I rest in pieces