The moment I took in the room and saw the soft glow of the lights, I knew today’s match with my renowned opponent was going to be tough. My eyes were tired, my body ached, and if I’m honest, I’d thought about giving up for a while. But I wanted to believe that today could be different, that I’d wake up eager to do what I loved most — strategize.
Sitting there, behind the board, behind the battles, behind the wins and losses — these matches kept me thinking, sometimes overthinking, and worrying more than I should. Yet, every day, I found myself here, facing this challenge. I’d played against this opponent many times, sometimes winning strategically and having some of my best moments filled with purpose. Other times, I’d lost, my dignity replaced by embarrassment and shame. This opponent was a beautiful yet destructive player, the reason why I felt like giving up today.
Quitting seemed like the only solution because the better I became at strategizing, the more challenging this opponent became. So, as I lay in bed, fully aware of the possible outcomes, knowing that today could be the day my opponent defeats me for good, I faced a choice. I could go to that square board today, even though I knew I had only 10% of my best left in me. With my opponent possibly at 100%, defeat was likely, but there was a smile on my face as I realized I’d faced my fear.
Right there, I decided that even at 10%, I would be behind that board, making moves, ruthlessly trying to checkmate my opponent. Maybe I’d win today, maybe I wouldn’t. As this realization washed over me, the smile on my lips shone brightly in my eyes.
Watch out, life, your opponent has awakened.
Molten dance of creation
From mind to heart, the energy is racing
Masculine closed off - feminine exposed
Forming a shield, emotional barriers
Addicted to the pain
I stopped accepting the responsibility
Which lead to more vulnerability
Lava always stirring, seeking out weakness
Destruction and pain, can it find completeness?
Extinction can't be saved from the world
But I can save it from myself
Prevent the eruption, find my inner wealth.