Caffeine could not wake her tired soul. 

A brown ring circled her left-handed ink, 

Resembling her irises, dull and tired, but beautiful like dusty stained glass. 

She was an empty tomb reserved for someone she could lock in her cold embrace.

Her name was Espresso and tonight she was nothing but a coffee stain. 

Please stay with me as we lie in my pale blue sheets.

I'm a scared little girl inside a strong woman in armor made of ice that melts when no one sees, 

but that doesn't cure the frostbite in my chest that has lost all feeling.

Black, like the stains on my pillowcase from the lies that conquer my truths. 

I can't explain why I would rather be alone with you than just alone. 

You break me then call me stable. 

I was born into war. My earliest memories were playing hide-n-seek and the twin towers falling. In school we were punished for putting a cloth on our heads because playing gypsy looked a lot like playing terrorist. Trips to grandmothers house were over the river and through airport security. And I never grew into that daily fear that daddy might not come home. 

I grew into a broken woman. Broken family, broken dreams, broken spirit. Now I sit beside my broken mother in her sanctuary as we watch hell unleash on the news channel. "I never told you this," she says without looking at me. "Your daddy found you in that desert. You're one of them. Hell, you'd be queen of them by now. You were their crown jewel."

To say I am shocked is an understatement. "What do you mean? I was adopted?"

"Not adopted. Stolen. And they want you back."

I met you by accident. 

I liked your tattoos, the roses climbing up your arm. 

You liked my red coat with my hood that was meant to hide me from the harsh wind. 

I gave you my number because I'm a romantic, and believed that maybe the wolf was my true love. 

You and your friend drove 4 hours to pick me up. 

I never made smart decisions when it came to strangers. 

I wore leather, not knowing you loved the red.

We hit the highway at midnight. 

He drove while i straddled you in the back, going 90 miles per hour in the dark. 

I asked you if you were a Christian, I thought I loved you, I was a good girl. 

You kissed me and somehow my pants came off. 

I was new, budding for the first time as you lowered me onto you. Then my first time became my third time. 

At 4 in the morning you didnt want to leave me. 

I wanted to go with you. 

But I stayed 

And you left. 

She,

Who breathes

Your same breath,

In your shared bed,

While you dream of me,

Condemns me: adult'ress.

Though I do not sleep alone,

Your body is only a shell

Which tosses and turns, burdened by guilt,

And i crave to be mistaken for her. 

How can I be first when I must remain a secret to spare her feelings? My white dress is hidden in a court house with no reception. 

I peeked at your phone the other night. I told you what I saw and how it broke my heart.

My secret is that I am jealous. I am jealous that my needs come second. I am jealous that she is your obsession. I am jealous that she can have that baby when my baby died. 

I get a ring, and she gets your son. 

My secrets hold no power,

My heart's locket is closed. 

I chose to stay locked in my tower,

Professions of love, behind sealed lips stowed. 

My knight is my sandman,

Dreamy in the literal sense.

But i am Isolde, he is my Tristan,

From my demons, he is my defense. 

But come morning I must wake,

To my grumbling bed-mate,

Always angry, foul, drunk and baked.

Being wed to he, i do so hate. 

Red looks like the way your skin heats up when you sit next to the fire, eventually becoming overwhelming.

Yellow is how the sand between your toes fills in the space and lets you sink with each step. 

Blue is soft, like a zillion thread-count sheets. 

Green is like dew-water leaving tiny lines on your calves, and smells like wildflowers. 

Purple is sweet like sugarplums. Its more of a sensation for the tongue than the body. 

White is that feeling of peace. When your brain is blank and everything stops moving and you feel nothing but zen.