
Hello, My Name Is
Hello my name is baby
I’m the youngest of the bunch
And I’ll stay this way for 8 more years
Until the new one comes
Hello my name is challenge
But I don’t understand
What makes me so difficult
Why aren’t I just a kid
Hello my name is different
But I don’t know that yet
That doesn’t mean that I don’t know
That I’m not like the rest
Hello my name is knowing
And they say that I’m advanced
They’re betting on my future
But they won’t look at the now
Hello my name is burden
And I ruin everything
At least that’s what my sister says
About my 4th grade class
Hello my name is blooming
I’m experiencing change
My fat will redistribute
And they’ll watch me when I move
Hello my name is trauma
And you cannot fix me now
I should’ve listened to myself
I should’ve called for help
Hello my name’s disabled
And I should’ve known before
But no one ever told me
So I guess we’re starting now
Hello my name is west side
And I will not pretend
I know that we are different
That there’s changes on my end
Hello my name is broke as hell
And you’re allowed to say it
But you come over 70k
So it’s best that you not comment
Hello my name is poor kid
And you all pity me
I wish I didn’t see it
But Jesus Christ I can
Hello my name is bad one
And I influence you
Your parents do not like me
Or don’t like what I’m around
Hello my name is toxic
And it’s who my family is
You say it doesn’t judge me
But you didn’t even ask
Hello my name is troubled
Hello my name is flight
Hello my name is try again
And try to get it right
Hello my name is Colin
And you haven’t met me yet
But once you do
I promise you
I am one you won’t forget.
A Matter of Guilt
It wasn’t a matter of wealth, he was never in it for money. Nor was it a matter of fame, people knew him well enough already. Nor was it a matter of success, he had done many great things.
This was a matter of loss. This was a matter of coverup. This was a matter of failure.
Dr. Bridge was a man of science, a man of improvement, a man who had built a life out of caring for the safety of his employees, out of his work ethic, out of his research. Dr. Bridge was a man who made the world better, and Dr. Bridge had nearly killed someone.
“All right, it’s time. Who’s up for the trial?”
“Ladies and gentlemen,” someone spoke loudly, drawing his attention back to the elegant ballroom, “Please welcome the head of the Multiverse Experiment Committee, the man of the hour, Doctor Joseph A. Bridge!”
It was a speech they wanted, and a speech he gave. A speech of success, of humility, of wonder spilled from his lips so flawlessly that no one would notice how his words faltered as his eyes met those of the recently returned Dr. Shay, the one he nearly lost to the depths of the multiverse.
“Dr. Shay, are you ready? All right, in you go, Dmitri. I’ll check the gear.”
Nevertheless, here he stood, smiling and clapping along with the other men and women on the Committee and in the audience as Dr. Bridge completed his speech.
“Marvelous, Dr. Bridge! Just marvelous!” he was approached by a large man, one that he quickly recognized as Dr. Campbell of the Microbiology Advancement Center.
“Oh, you know me,”
“Dr. Bridge! The forces were too strong!”
“Bridge did you check the rods?”
Bridge faked a smile, “Just doing my best to make an advance.”
“And what an advance it was, indeed, Doctor.”
He turned and saw the rather elegantly dressed woman who had made the comment.
“Bridge, the rods have snapped!”
“Dr. Price, a pleasure,” he regarded her politely. He would generally make a sharp remark to his old college rival, but it had been years, and Dr. Bridge was tired. He excused himself from the scene when he saw Dr. Shay approaching.
“No, no wait—Shay, Dr. Shay can you hear me? Come through, Dmitri!”
Stepping outside, Dr. Bridge took a breath and wondered what the likelihood was that he could slip away unnoticed. Likely slim to none, but there was no sense in sticking around if it meant he would need to face the man who his own carelessness had nearly killed. There was nothing here for him, he should just go home and stay there. He should just stay away from everyone. If he stays away, no one else can get hurt, so why was he still here? What was he doing? After the ceremony, he would no longer be of any value to anyone, especially his Committee, who knew of his mistakes. Failure doesn’t deserve celebration, harm does not deserve global recognition. He should just go home and stay there.
Dr. Bridge felt as if the world was spinning, and found that it would be best for everyone, himself included, if he gave his regards to a few people and went home to deal with this heavy feeling. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he had hoped that the feeling might fade the further he got from Dr. Shay, the further he got from his near-fatal error. But, as with all things lately, luck was not on Bridge’s side.
“Please, please come through!”
Coming home from the ceremony, Dr. Bridge collapsed in bed and tried to sleep it all away. Sometimes sleeping it off is best in the case of illness, but it was no regular illness he was feeling. He is feelings were fueled by his failures, and there was nothing other than his own carelessness to blame. He would need to resign, find a new field, start a new career. He was smart enough, the possibilities were possibly limitless, but failures have limits. Failures have hard stops. Failures need to know their place among the lowest of the world. Attempted murderers should be locked up. Attempted murderers don’t deserve freedom. Attempted murderers should be kept far away from society, so that the ones who plan can’t hurt, and the ones who don’t can’t fail.
Silence.
Dr. Bridge awoke the next morning to find himself feeling nauseous, but otherwise better than the previous night. Not feeling like a proper breakfast, he grabbed a granola bar and flicked on the news before he needed to drag himself to his research seminar later in the morning.
Overall, the news was relatively uneventful. A robbery here, a new scam there, nothing too out of the ordinary, and nothing deemed special, even by the anchors themselves. Nothing, until the story covering the “Recent Breakthrough in Multidimensional Technology,” that is.
“Shay! Calens, reopen the rift!”
“I can’t! The debris of the rods knocked everything out of balance! I’ll need to reconfigure the—”
“There’s no time! Shay! Oh, Dmitri, I’m so sorry…”
He lost his appetite.
Dr. Bridge received many calls that early morning; products that he didn’t want, congratulations that he didn’t deserve, the kind of calls that can really remind one of everything that’s wrong with the world. One call, however, stood out from all the rest: a call from his dear friend and colleague, Dr. Maria Calens.
“Maria, what can I do for you?” he answered.
“Joseph, we need to talk. The café across from the university, after your seminar. Be there.”
And she hung up, giving him no choice but to oblige.
The seminar, as much as Bridge was dreading it, turned out to be just what he needed. Sure, it was a lecture for college students like any other, but that’s exactly what it was, for college students. In an environment where he wasn’t surrounded by the same air of perfection and precision as usual, he felt himself finally relax.
“But Dr. Bridge,” one student asked, post-lecture, “we don’t have experience under our belts, we can’t just do things perfectly like you can. So how will we actually get this kind of stuff down?”
“You think I do things perfectly?” he was taken aback by the statement. So much so, in fact, that we was talking before he could help it. “Well, I’d hate to disappoint, but I’ve made mistakes before too. In fact, I’ve made mistakes so careless and major that they could have been fatal.”
This fact, though it upset him gravely, got the students’ attention like magic.
“Really?” he heard several voices whisper in the background.
“It’s nothing to be proud of,” he assured them, and reminded himself, “but yes. Even those of us who look the most successful are imperfect people,” and for the first time in a long time, he believed it.
Oddly enough, walking into the café to meet his friend Dr. Calens, he felt better. Not perfect, but significantly better, knowing that his imperfections did not need to be flaws, but experiences that can be used to inform the futures of others. So when Maria greeted him at the doors, he was not unhappy to sit down with her.
“Listen, I know you’re upset,” she began, in lieu of usual small talk, “but you’ve led an advancement well beyond the depths of modern science. You’ve made a breakthrough, and if you don’t want that to be a huge deal, then fine. But it is to me, and it is to the Committee, and it is to the rest of the world, so I’m sorry if you’re beat up about Dmitri Shay, but he knew the risks and there’s always room for error so at the very least you’re allowed to shut up and take the praise and stop feeling so sorry for yourself! Dr. Shay will be here soon, so if I must, I will lock you two in a room together until you sort yourself out for good!”
It was a rant, but it was a good one.
“Maria,” he started.
“Joseph,” she mocked.
“I’m okay now, really. It’s been weeks since the trial, and if it still hurts, I shouldn’t be taking it out on you, and I’m sorry.” He was honest for once, and it felt nice.
“Oh,” said Maria. This is not what she had been expecting. “Well, good.”
“By the way,” Bridge said after a long moment, “I never did see the return.”
“The what?” she was clearly confused.
“There he is!” he spotted Dr. Shay in the doorway of the café, “He can tell me what it was like then. Dr. Shay how have you been? I was just asking Maria here about your return, you see, I wasn’t there for it and was wondering how they did manage to get you back.”
“How what?” Shay was clearly very confused, and seemed a bit hesitant to approach before sitting down at the booth.
“You know,” said Bridge, “From the other plane? How did they get you back?”
“Joseph,” Maria cut in, “Dr. Shay wasn’t on our trial committee…”
Now it was his turn to be confused.
“What? Of course you were. That’s why I want to know how you got back,” he was feeling a bit panicked now, “Back? You know, after I…” his voice dropped to a lower tone, “After I lost you to the plane?”
Silence.
“You lost my brother?”
And just as quickly as it had come together, it all fell apart.