Age is a state of mind;

Old, young,

It's how you use your time

That really matters.

Blow out your candles.

But don't count them.

Blinded.

by the different stories that are shown to me every day

Deafened.

By the noise of political parties attacking one another

Tasteless.

Is what I would call the media lately

Lack of feeling.

When it comes to issues because I don't know what's true

Smell

is the only thing I can trust

because I can always smell a rat

and the stories that are being told are pestering me.

Because the truth is veiled by deceit.

I would use all five senses to understand the world around me

but it seems like they are all busy

and I am stuck being told what others want me to hear

rather than what I need to know.

Fuck me.

Is what I would say if we were together

but,

Fuck you instead.

My Valentine is

Smart

Caring

Funny

and not you.

Because you are none of those things.

Pick up that rose

and tear the petals

he loves me

he loves me not

he loves me

he loves me not

he loves me not

he loves me not.

And know I do not.

The roses I gave you have long since withered

just like any emotion I had for you.

You are not my Valentine

not anymore

never again.

and truthfully

I'm glad

Happy Valentines day,

Your ex 

"he loves me".

Lust is red.

As red as iron before it is struck,

lace underwear before it is dropped

and a Valentines day heart before it is broken.

Lust is like waves crashing on rocks

uncontrollable

powerful

and seemingly supernatural.

It is a connection between two people,

whether it's one night

or a lifetime,

that brings them crashing together

with enough intensity to make it seem

gravitational.

Lust is true desire.

You can be anything:

President

Astronaut

Famous

Lauded

But what if I'm not?

What if I'm like everyone else?

What if I fit the mold.

What if I am just one more in the seven billion and three hundred thousand others

who fit that mold.

My biggest fear isn't death

or clowns or spiders

my biggest fear is to never truly live.

What if

my greatest accomplishment is simple existence.

What if I can't become something more.

What if I can't be anything?

But the truth is 

my greatest fear is not failing

my greatest fear is giving up before I even try.

Stop Drop and Roll

That's what they taught us in grade school

"If you are on fire stop drop and roll"

but what if my fire isnt physical?

What if its mental?

Or emotional?

In the middle of my workday can I just stop?

Can I stop what I'm doing

Drop all of my worries

And roll away?

Sometimes it feels like being on fire

would hurt less

than being me.

Why don't you work like us?

You're an adult now

Stop wasting time scribbling

And start saving.

Stop expressing yourself

And conform.

Stop being yourself

And be one of us.

Seeing that man on the street I thought to myself

“That will never be me.”

Seeing that woman with the wrinkled eyes and the bags below them I thought to myself

“That will never be me.”

…

Seeing my reflection in the pond I thought to myself

“That can not be me”

Seeing my hand reach out for spare change or a warm meal I thought to myself

“That can not be me.”

…

Seeing what I once was I thought to myself

“That will never be me again”