He’s as brave as a coward

who condemns.

He’s as guiltless

as a liars

confession.

He’s as wise as the steps

taken on the plank

whose ends

he knows

are death.

He falls

like a bullet

descending,

with no intentions

to relent.

And,

he swings

like a child

who’s

lamenting

with his face down

in a desolate playground.

He rocks

like an old

wooden chair, left alone

on a parched wood floor

squeaking like a rusted door,

spent

too many days in the rain.

He creaks like a

dead tree.

Billows groans

thru a somber forest.

Swaying back and

forth

in a subtle

breeze.

Winds whistle songs thru his

hollow bones and skull, like

ancient natives playing wooden flutes.

He hangs as

heavy as a weary mans chest

downcast

his face!

Wishing he could change the past

Wishing he could run away…

He hangs-

He hangs.

He slips into the noose

of self defeat. . .

He hangs with a hopeless

sorrow -

dangling

strangled

from the Judas tree.

Bitter shame

Rots his bones

to the marrow.

A victim

of his own

demise.

Crows plucking at his blackened eyes

Once beloved, yet

departed

like a lifeless limb,

bruised and black

from decay, crum-

bling

to pieces- in-

dismay.

Back against the deserts setting sun

Behind a bold and tragic

Silhouette. . .

His countenance-

a saddened shadow;

Behold

The Man

Who wallowed

in regret,

Who cast his jewel

before the swine, trading in his life

for a chattering-chapped

Skeletal wind chime- gripping

30 pieces of silver with

bony fingers,

he

hangs,

he

twists,

he spins.

Raven forsaken scarecrow

Iscariot betrayal.

Restless,

suspended above the earth

for the fowls of the air,

he lofts a wreaking scent that draws

the dogs to his feet.

I don't know what I'm doing.

I'm laying in bed, writing on my phone

but it all seems fake; a glorious oversimplification of life

none of it seems real

Except, maybe, this.

Unsure, I second guess every step

every sentence stem

every choice in plot.

The one thing I do know is that I love stories.

While writing I think of myths from long ago. I wonder what happened to the mermaid cursed to roam the sea or the daughter who lost everything. I wonder if I'm the villain. I think I wouldn't mind it. There's a sense of freedom to the notion of doing what you want, but I'm not. I'm still that shy little thing that can't stand up for itself. I'm the weird little miscreant; the one everyone likes. I'm always laughing while dying on the inside, hoping someone sees the mask, wanting someone to notice I'm in pain but not daring to break the mold.

Mavia sent in number 56, which features two writers and her signature sound.

Stay awhile, have a drink...

Here's the link to the show.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rk0jDiU7WBw

And we'll link the authors below in the comments.

And.

As always.

Thank you for being here.

-The Prose. team

two a number

small as your hands yet you fight with the resilience of a million soldiers by your side

doctors said a wheelchair a third birthday gift

i was not ready for this truth

we dreamt of a world where you could run free but reality a different path

your tiny body a battlefield knowing lessons of war too soon

my soul carries rivers

ready to pour

i go to the shower a ritual of escape body masked in showers rain mind in the dark

shower water

hides salty trails

hides the breaking of me

truth is a cold

easier in the shower to spill the rivers of my soul

tears go unheard

but i cannot unhear the doctor's words

a chill i cannot thaw

now you sleep but me

i have ptsd worried i will wake to your eyes elsewhere lips blue

i cannot find peace

in the night with your epilepsy

having brain spikes as you rest

I wish I could take them away

wish I could give you my legs so you can be a kid

but your strength teaches me how to breathe

Her text said,

"You need to die."

I read it and shuddered.

I cried.

I wanted to die right then and there.

The sender was my best friend,

my confidant,

the one with whom I dared to share

my innermost thoughts and fears.

She knows the monsters that haunt me

and that I try daily to overcome:

Fear of missing out.

Fear of losing a friend.

Fear of losing her.

I trusted her to keep my secrets,

and tell me the truth in love,

especially when I needed to hear it.

My phone vibrated,

but I refused to look at the text.

I peeked and saw her name,

but turned away again.

I screamed, as if that

would make it disappear.

Through eyes awash in tears,

I finally brought myself to look.

The text said,

"Sorry about typo. Should say,

'You need to diet.'"

And I added another monster

to my list:

fear of texting.

Don’t panic

Don’t crumble into a foggy lagoon of tears

Don’t shiver under firecracker skies

With its tiger roar sonic boom

Or be dashed inside

From night’s crooked smile

And vacant moon

You’ve got nerve, my friend

You’ve got gutsy punch

And electric storm fury

That barrels through

The razored maze

And

The needling briars

Of brutes and bastards

Who want to tank your ship

Through the greedy storehouse

Of their petty mutinies,

So hold on to the wheel

And the invisible calm

Knowing that the absurdity of life

Is all the better

For you being in it,

And may your transparent heart of glass

Blind the dogged scoundrel

And flood the malice eyed adders

Hungry to bruise your heel,

For the self loathing beasts

At war with themselves

Despise a ravine of purity

And may their towers of rabble rousing Babel

Plant themselves face first

Into the Godsmacked realities

Of black and blue earth,

But don’t write your epitaph

Or realign your course,

You’ve only touched the simple depths

Of a universe of worth

Alive in the kindness of your eyes

And in the beautified candor of your words,

So keep sweating blood

If you must

But saints preserved

Keep pushing on,

Wave your die hard flag of no return

Because I think you absolutely matter

To God

To us

To art

To the world

To the neighbouring prisms

That reflect the stellar outline

Of a diamond pearl

That shines

That is you

So onwards you prizefighter

And steady

To ready

To deaden

The calloused nerve

That pinched you

In its boxing cage,

But break down the gates

And let the world

Hear the resurrected songs

Of your valour

And make it

A revolution

Of love,

Saturn’s return

That dries up the frenzied

Scalds of hate,

Now onwards

Now on!

"When you said...you loved me"

I believed you,

I was young then and naive

I didn't know the truth that laid behind your smile.

No one could have prepared me

but it happened

You said you loved me,

but did you really?

Do you ever think of me?

Years have passed and still no call

No visits not even a good-bye

You said you loved me

It's hard to imagine I'm grown now and I still can't trust

I despise anyone who looks out the window

it reminds me of myself waiting for you to come.

No one took me away

You just didn't want me.

You said you loved me

Then told me I wasn't yours.

I carried your name

Your name engraved on my birth certificate

I called you father

and you still walked away

But you said you loved me...

When you said precious words, full of love full of hope

Which resounded like bells of a church in my soul

I knew I was changed in that instance, so pure

For the waves of your wisdom crashed into my mind’s barren shore.

You, deaf and bound to that chair

Taught me to be happy, when I thought you’d be in despair

Whose smile was unmatched in our dance and song

And your presence the fuel of our joyous cabal

You spoke in a language that I had not known,

The language of joy, the language of the soul

And though I cannot quote words technically not stated,

I’ll interpret what you did indeed say, insofar as I can:

”Do not cry, do not relent, don’t give in to sad ways

But see past your fleeting problems,

For the world is beautiful and you are its part

And to cry, relent, give up is to forget and forsake.

Instead: smile.”

Softly I draw you closer,

holding your hand

and drowning within your eyes,

swimming into your heart.

I leave you with my words.

I wanted to say I understand

instead I only say I care.

I wanted to say I care

but I can only say I love you.

Slowly I draw you closer

and I realize now

you are my dawn, my light

you are the edges

of all tomorrows.

But still I wanted to offer you

the world, the stars

but I can only offer you

my words, my heart.