I want to write until my fingers fall off

So I can gather them and give them to you

Like artifacts

Because these hands have seen war

When I thought my sight berated me

You painted it new

And see how my hands

How they open for you

I can feel earths exploding inside my body

Death in all its finest clothes

I’ve seen cascaded lights

Reach out and touch my soul

A mystery even to me

I’ve bled out onto floors and onto people

Literally and it

Life has afforded me pain

That in which I grow

Life has kissed me with soft sad eyes

Lips quivering

I’ve seen tears of joy

Roll down onto the hands God have me

I’ve lived with conviction

And now flowers bloom from my rib cage

Vines entangle my veins

Because love is the single most important thing

We can give ourselves

Without it

We fail every time

Pain is our greatest teacher. It is only through pain that I’ve even begin to understand the complexity of my own heart. Unnerving bleakness that has void in my insides for more than a decade. The elusiveness is falling away to a complete understanding. Not all paradises are lost paradises.