i wish i could have said hello,

because goodbye would mean that i spent time with you,

but time had another track to run,

and took a hard leap into a parallel universe,

leaving me without you,

just stillness and an empty womb.

you never got to hear me say how proud i was of you,

or yes i will hang this masterpiece on the refrigerator,

and you never got to hear me cheer you on

as you rotated the pedals on the bicycle with no training wheels for the first time

and you never got to hear me say goodnight sweetheart

or everything is going to be okay

or i love you,

i love you

i love you,

because i never even got to say hello in the first place.

#poetry #brokenwomanhood #infertility #desolatewomb #geekslutnerdgirl #miscarriage

This piece is just a cut up of my own stuff.

all that I have

caught up in hot dark,

impulsive touches

against his sinful skin.

I am in the middle of

a full horizon

hot spring water,

we lay under thunder.

since you caught me

I am waking up.

it's easy to forget

I am brave.

I am up packing myself,

tucking you in.

I feel like I barely see you enough

and I don't know,

sometimes one must learn

to not look like

plowed.

I can make like

I have found inside out

and full of devotion

and you say

"blurt me out"

like we are rain.

#poetry #geekslutnerdgirl

i always knew there was a leash between us,

i just never was sure

who was wearing the collar.

#micropoetry

#poetry

#humor

#geekslutnerdgirl

She's leaning out against hope

Again

Suspended

Above the impossible

With those 3 stray hairs

Mindlessly framing

My future

She trips over

Her dreams as she recalls them

Worried about these imaginary

Failures

That whip behind her

Like ribbons

While she rises

And it seems the total

Of her regrets

Have become an arrow

Pointing her away

From

The nightmare I never met

That never really existed.

Her heartbeat kind of sways

Like dreams wrapped in

Doubt

And it's fucking beautiful

And I'm cursing the clouds

Again

And praying for a mirror

Big enough to reflect

the view

And I wonder if the sun

Ever sees itself fall

As it sets beyond the shore

Or how I would feel

If I carried such a burden

So I will hunch

Over the page

And write within the shadows

Of myself

As I follow her into tomorrow,

Begging, that dimly lit lines on a page

Will somehow become

Reflection

inspired by Rafaellopezjr’s poem Light in the Dark

writhing against the pulse,

and you,

soaked in

my skin.

glimpses of light

becoming brighter

as sun adds to

the heat between us.

@Rafaelopezjr

#poetry

#lovemaking

Awake, with eyes closed,

I feel your weight shift.

You seem very bold

as my foot you lift

to your hungry mouth,

your exploring tongue

taking without doubt

what you will. My fugue,

will continue. I

will fain you proceed.

What acts you contrive

will inform my deeds...

...awake with eyes closed,

I make my weight shift.

My heart very cold

as I take a kiss...

of all the paths to wander,

i’m somehow stuck on track one.

i guess i didn’t design a future

where i could be a victor,

because with all the patterns swirling,

i pick out the familiar

then wonder why i’m broken.

it’s because all the other paths,

i forgot.

always on a mission to rescue,

try to ensure a way to golden

regardless of if it’s taken,

i am returned to the start.

got to do it all over,

my song is stuck in repeat,

my heart is stuck in

the dark.

there has got to be a way

to pull us both through together

there has got to be a way

to level up.

#geekslutnerdgirl

#thepathisaloop

#poetry

i rode your balls

sweating out the lust

with these hips

in swing

and gyrating

and bouncing.

you play it safe,

let me do my thing

until it’s time to

slide out from underneath

and in the pitch dark

your body weighed heavy.

that’s when things went south

and you gave me a foul smirk

i never said you could cum in me.

@Finder

Not sure if this is allowed to be an adult poem or not. If not remove it.

you asked me once what dope took from me,

and the answer is

it took you.

you alone,

are poetry.

a lover of beauty, you say,

as i blush beneath the sheets

that held your scent long after you left.

today the song and dance

you made of my words

have turned to war chants

and judgement

bending grooves in the spaces

created between us.

the smoke chokes the love,

unwraps the arms from around me,

drops the safety net

for my jump

and ties you up in shackles.

it’s no longer me you can’t live without.

you asked me once what dope took from me

and truthfully,

it took so many damn things-

my life, my brain, my health,

my girls-

and it took,

it took you.

#geekslutnerdgirl

#poetry

#gsng

#loveless

#thesedrugs

if i could get you back

if i could somehow jog the memory,

reignite the flame

that was supposed to never die.

if i could re-strengthen the fire,

the one that is supposed to

eternally pull us closer still

until one again.

if i could make math redetermine

the values of

two halves, yet two souls

and somehow make them one.

if i could have you back,

i guess i would give anything for that,

because it hurts to see you so close

and yet feel so very far from your heart.

i feel misplaced,

traded in,

pushed back,

forgotten.

i have screamed all i can,

spoken eloquent words,

replayed our favorite tunes,

laid it out for you in tears,

and nothing brings you anywhere near

to back to me as you were.

nothing stands a chance

against the white throned.

i always believed there was one love

meant to be for everyone,

there was one path to eternity.

but that was before

you showed me that

love has forks

and you could actually be undecided on

which one to travel,

before you told me that they may sometimes run parallel,

they will always part,

and i will always have the lower end.

because i just lost that spark,

and you just closed your eyes

on the brightest light born,

and opened them in another direction.

you found something else

to light your way,

another map to explore.

i just wish that i could bring you back.

if only i could.

#poetry

#love

#missingyou