Dear young one,

It is ok to fail.

You are allowed to bend and break and grow and shrink and sink.

It won’t diminish your worth.

And you won’t stay that way for long.

You’re too stubborn for that.

It’s ok to say no.

You don’t have to date the guy who makes you feel uncomfortable just because he asked.

You don’t need to drown in responsibly for other people to like you.

It’s ok to take a breath now and then.

If you spend a weekend on the couch with a box of sweets, that doesn’t mean you are weak.

And it’s ok if it takes you a long time to learn all these lessons.

You are strong.

You are loved

And it gets better.

Love,

Future Me

My name is Charles and I’m a bit of an oxymoron.

Well that is a false truth because I really am a walking talking literally device. One bright night I was just minding my own business sitting tall on a paper some stupid genius had used to play basketball with rather than finishing his rather easy 12 page essay.

Now, I say genius because the guy graduated high school at 12. But now he’s too distracted to focus on his easy college classes. I mean... he is clearly confused if he thinks playing trash ball is what is going to help his future. But I digress.

Anywho! There I am in the deafening silence just being some words on a blank paper and then poof! Would you believe it? A giant tooth fairy crashed into the room!

I couldn’t believe my nonexistent eyes. The tooth fairy isn’t real! Right?

Well turns out, that’s true. She’s not real. It wasn’t the tooth fairy it was a fairy godmother. Which is good because she is really real instead of made up like that other thing, am-I-right?

Anyway! She dropped her wand and then bippity bippity lookywho. I became. Human.

Clearly my only choice after that was to kill Charles and take his identity, right?

Don’t tell anyone ok? Not that they’ll believe you anyway. This kind of thing doesn’t happen, even if it is the truth.

How to dance like no ones watching:

1. Close the doors. All of them.

2. Lights: on, off... doesn’t matter.

3. Choose a song. Not that one, you don’t want to cry. Pick that one. It reminds you of simpler times.

4. Close your eyes and sway. Gently.

5. Breathe.

6. Experience the beat in each apendage. Your legs know the way. Trust them.

7. If the words slip past your tongue, don’t fight it.

8. Feel the rhymth as it slides up your thighs, flows through your hips, and drives to your chest.

9. You were made for this.

Can you hear them screaming?

Their voices carry a weight most ears are afraid to bare

The younger generation is screaming at us to fix things

“But it’s not our fault”

We respond

“Our parents gave us this”

“I was dealt these cards I didn’t choose them”

Y’all our parents screwed up

Or maybe it was their parents

Or maybe society has just been sliding down for a long time

And everyone forgot to notice

But why is that an excuse?

We didn’t ask for these problems

But it’ll be our fault if don’t try to solve them

My thoughts are screams

They aren’t quiet, normal thoughts.

They are loud bursts of incompetency.

“Get your shit together, Brenda!”

“Why are you like this, Brenda?”

“You’re over thinking again, Brenda!”

“Just be still, Brenda!”

“What is wrong with you?!”

“Be a better mother”

But I was never shown how!

“It’s not that hard”

“Be a better teacher”

But I don’t even like my job.

“Do. Better.”

How?

“Figure it out.

You’re so pathetic.”

I’m trying my best...

“Now stop talking to yourself.

You sound crazy.”

“Give it to me baby nice and slow”

Blares from the headphones you adorn a top my ears

A blindfold robs me of sight

Forcing me to rely on other senses

Fingers glide gently across my bare flesh

Rubbing

Sickling

Then you Scratch, Bite

Proving I’m yours

Even just for tonight

Adults can rebel too

Like how my room is always a mess

Dishes don’t get done for days

I’ve never wiped down a wall

Every time you’d come over you’d find something new to point out

Even offering to help me clean

But then after you left I set in reveled in my sense of control

You could no longer force me to clean instead of go out with my friends

My life no longer has to revolve around a vacuum

I can be ok in the mess

Without you

Her number started with a 9

I had it memorized

So did you

I hoped I could forget it now

Prayed that phase was through

Til it lit up in your darkened screen

Proving our love was doomed

I felt it hit

As a bullet to the chest

Ricochetting around my rib cage

Until it finally settled in the deepest corners of my heart

Then I knew

You were going to be the death of me

And I couldn’t wait

Congratulations you won her heart!

Listen closely as I tell you how to use it:

First, throw it on the ground!

Yeah, throw it!

Now step on it.

Really dig your heel in there.

Now pick it up and give it lots of hugs and kisses.

Tell it you’re sorry and you’ll never do it again.

Did it believe you?

Great!

Now pound it with a hammer.

Make it as flat as possible.

Oh, uh-oh! Now it’s too flat?

What’s that? It’s useless and destroyed?

Aw too bad!

Leave it over there.

We can try again with the next one.