Hello! I’m Amanda, the older version of you.

I wore those same glasses, just the way you do.

The rose colored glasses, turning into the saddest shade of blue.

This isn’t forever, just trust me it’s true.

__

There’s no possible way that I am you!

I‘m only sixteen and barely coasting through.

Inside & outside, I‘ve become so battered and bruised.

You could never be me & I grow into such a woman of muse!

The man that I love, he just loves to abuse.

Lady I see the love in your eyes, I can read social queues!

The strong parts of me he locked away to keep out of my use.

At this point just lend me your smile, I’d like to use it as my noose!

He’s a life sentence & I have no way to break loose.

You move about so freely, we couldn’t have wore the same shoes!

He hits me, then yells at me for causing this bruise.

I hope you find the girl you need because I think you’re confused. We both have green eyes but yours are even slightly darker hues.

I swear I’m not trying to be rude.

__

This life that you will have one day is beautiful & running smooth.

Listen to loved ones that really matter, get away from him, what they say is the truth.

Do as I’m say, despite what you think it’s not all doomed.

You poor girl, I hate that I surrendered the days of our youth…

that’s exactly why our green eyes are now a darker hue.

#shaynabryer

I have crafted my life for you.

You said you thought my record player was cool.

I told you that my record of choice is by Simon and Garfunkel,

And it is,

Except, my record player isn't plugged in.

In fact, I think I broke it moving here.

Here, a place I moved for the light,

Remember? I showed you the view.

And you took pictures of the sunset.

Except, my curtains are drawn from morning into the night,

And my window is too dirty to see through.

I had a vision of writing at this desk under warm light, with a warm drink,

In an atmosphere that would ease all of my anxieties.

But my drink has gone cold as I write this,

As I only have two hands.

And wrappers pile on my desk with water cups, and dust.

Because my room is lived in,

By a human who has anxieties, and a pension for forgetting little things.

And I cannot sanitize me from my life forever.

And yet, for a few hours I'll let you believe in my lie.

And, when you don't see my fretful staging before your visit,

You may too think to clean yourself from your life.

And I am so sorry.

Maybe next time, I'll forget to vacuum,

So you might be in my home with me,

And then, with any hope, in yours with you.