Limbo
Ashes blew across a barren landscape. Burned out trees stood like stark, black pillars. I walked the dusty path alone and confused. It smelled acrid like an abandoned fireplace. Just a moment ago I was sitting on a green lawn watching the dog walkers and children pass by. The sound of birds and laughing filled the air. Now all was colorless silence. Step after step I continued walking. It was cold. I pulled my hoodie tighter around my body and stuffed my gray hair into the hood as a cinched it tight. The cold was bone chilling and nothing I did warmed me.
Shadows formed at the edges of the black trees. They swayed with the cold wind. I thought I could hear faint singing, but maybe it was just the wind. I kept the shadows in my peripheral vision. They moved closer and closer. I had no emotion. No fear, no anxiety. Nothing. I should be scared, shouldn’t I? The shadows gathered behind me and kept my pace. Musical humming filled my ears. I kept walking and I did not tire.
Gradually, the bland horizon started to lighten. Dark gray gave way to light gray and then to a pale golden light. I was curious and quickened my step. Perhaps I could solve the mystery of where I was. The shadows continued behind me. Walking and walking. I made no progress toward the shining horizon. How long have I been here? Time was not relevant.
My mind drifted. I thought of the man I married and who loved me and how I carelessly threw the love away for a torrid affair. I was not sorry then. He meant nothing me. Now, I could not stop thinking about it. My selfishness. My arrogance and my utter lack of consideration for him. I thought about my sister. How we had not spoken in 10 years. I thought about my father, a cruel man, and how I never defended my mother when he demeaned her in public. Thoughts of all my transgressions flooded my mind. I felt shame and longed for one chance to fix it all. Just one.
Suddenly, the bright horizon was before me. The shadows lost their blackness and transformed into people, bathed in golden light. I could not make out their features. The light blinded me. I walked among them and felt warmth. The cold and ashy land was gone. My eyes were closed. I did not need to see.
As suddenly as it appeared, the golden light was gone. Voices called my name. My eyes snapped open.
Portico
I sit beneath the willows
Where shadows come to hide
The night— she welcomes me
Her stars have lost their light
I listen closely to the wind
And think I hear your name
But all I hear are muffled cries
That echo my own the pain
As I enter grief's dark portico
Of all that's left behind
This emptiness— it follows me
Your loss, my heart, entwined
