It was your birthday.

Told your best friend "I really want to kiss her."

So your sneaky, smart friend came up with a plan.

"Lets play hide and seek, first we hide and you count from 20 down" your friend told me.

So I did.

Twenty,

nineteen,

eightenn,

seventeen,

sixteen,

fifteen.

Something soft and warm against my lips.

I open my eyes and look into your blue ones while you had a smirk on your face.

That was when you stole my first kiss as I closed my eyes again and kissed you back.

I inhale the scent of the meat. Normally my mouth would be watering at the sight alone.

Rich dark gravy encases the piece of meat.

This meal my mom used to make me should make me feel safe.

It smells just like home - they really tried to make my last meal well.

My stomach clenches, not because I'm hungry but because I'll die.

I take a bite. A piece of tender meat, a bit buttery mashed potatoes.

The gravy drops down my fork.

It just tastes so fucking bland.

Was my crime worth it?

Was my crime worth dying for?

I guess at the time it didn't matter - I guess now I shouldn't bother to think about it.

I feel like throwing up.

As if eating a good meal makes death less scary.

What a joke.

Another bite, another taste just another number.

I don't even chew

I just swallow.

Gold amber in the glas - bloodshot eyes.

Someone in the neighbourhood plays the flute. I hate it, you loved it.

Another sip.

Your scent still lingers in the house. Everywhere is you - everything feels cold.

Not even the burn of the whiskey makes me feel warm.

Another sip.

I feel the hungover I will have tomorrow.

Pounding head, queasy stomach.

If you would see me now, your soft fingers would take the glas out of hand

I would have to drink a ton of water

But you are not here anymore

Not here to protect me from the monster called alcohol.

Another sip

and another one.

Maybe I still have those old cigarettes lying around - maybe it will sooth the pain.

another sip

I'm no longer able to fill the glas.

I take the bottle in my hand. It's seems heavier than before even though half its contents are in my bloodstream.

A gulp.

Memories I would like to forget, memories which seem clearer with every sip I take.

Seeing everything twice won't bring you back, mum.

Giving up on my life just because I miss you so damn much won't either.

I wish we had more time.

Another gulp. A tear.

Tomorrow will be the last time I empty a bottle on an empty stomach, I swear.

Tomorrow I will be able to deal with my loss, I promise.

Tomorrow I will visit your grave, I promise.

Tomorrow I will do all this and not just think it.

I promise.

My men,

I scream at you and your eyes blaze with anger.

You blaze the joint and your eyes get so glowy.

I look at you and feel so overwhelmed,

how one person

can just come into any room

and put a spell on me

with their beauty.

Soft hair so thick I can lose my hand in it.

Eyes so brown it's like drowning in chocolate.

Lips softer than clouds.

You're easy on the eyes

but not easy on my mind.

#boy #men #love #easy #beauty

As I open the door to the bar I see instantly something's wrong with my buddy.

"What's eating up your mind?" I ask while I let my sore body plop down on the old wooden bank in the corner, which creaks everytime I shift my weight.

I front of him is an already half- empty bottle of beer- and yeah, I'm the half- empty, not the half- full type of guy. 2

He takes another gulp and slams it down on the table. "I saw that stupid guy driving down town with the girl I love and they can kiss themselves where the moon doesn't shine."

Ah- that gold digger girl. "You were a fool to fall in love with her. I mean, come on! She broke up with you 'cause you can't afford a Ferrari."

The waitress came and we both ordered a beer. The evening went on and he went on about that gold digger. "Being with that ass ain't cheap." he slurred or "I'm really sorry for that fool who's gonna fall in love with her."

I just grimaced a let the cool beer caress my throat while I stretched out my limbs.

"If you have so much to say about her, then write it down."

"You mean a diary or what?" My buddy looked up as I was a ghost. "Who as an adult man writes a diary?" he asked.

"I didn't say that, but couldn't be the worst thing. Or just write it down without a diary or write a song about it whatever. The only important thing is that we don't talk about her the whole night, okay? Tomorrow is my only day of this week and I want to have fun right now."

"Yeah, as if I write a song. But hey , maybe I write a song- get famous and then she'll come back, begging for my love while I'm busy figuiring out how much money I could spend in one day."

I chuckled. "Good one, but until now- you should just figure out how much beer you could drink at one evening."

Inspiration Song: F♥CK YOU Cee-Lo Green

#love #money #alcohol #funny #lyrics

I had a really bad week so my best friend decided to buy me a fortune cookie, which said "You can't burden others with your problems".

So after a really bad week, it didn't make anything better and I was pretty angry and wanted something nice in my cookie. So my friend and I ended up buying over 60 of them.

It's your typical family fest.

You sit there, old but not old enough to chill with the elder- young but not young enough to chill with the youth

So you just sit there, wait and observe.

12 year old boy nipping on daddys beer.

Daddy already drunk.

Till now, everything is fine, till now everybody is just tipsy.

Till now, you enjoy the buzz but you know

2 hours later:

Everyone who drinks, is drunk.

Old stories are told- intended to be funny but the hurt no one ever talks about comes up.

Fun, Hurt, Hatred.

Laughing, Crying, Yelling.

Alcohol doesn't bring out the truth- it intensifies the emotions.

You stare at your glas of white wine. A viscous liquid, with a golden sparkle and almost honey like colour.

And you don't drink. Because your family is destroyed by C2H5OH and not by a real issue.

#poetry #drinking #alcohol #family

The sun goes down. It's a winder day.

She's feeling tired and puts her self to sleep.

All the stress should go away,

but there it is. There comes the creep

tickling her shoulder

Her surroundings are getting darker.

No escape.

Black.