Lights at the End of the Tunnel
I need my log cabin now.
I need my 50 acres.
I need my fruit trees to tend to and flowers to pick.
I need my peace.
I need to pet my daughters‘ hair in the simple afternoon.
No one rushing me or to impress.
I need to hold my son as he rests.
Feed him the best food and smile into his eyes.
I need to start teaching my little one all about the plants.
I need it now.
It’s getting late and they don’t know how much I Love them.
They don’t know what hopes keep me going.
They are the Lights that lead me and keep me on a path.
They are the Lights that keep my eyes open, my heart open, my hands open.
Listen to What Excites Your Soul
I don’t know what excites my soul lately~
when my 9 month old daughter looks into my eyes and smiles. It is the only authentic smile I know, the only person that lives in the moment constantly.
Seeing my son‘s golden curls bounce in the liquid sunshine as he picked flowers used to excite my soul, and watching him run with a smile on his face. Peeking at the dew covered roses in the morning used to excite my soul, and feeling the sunshine as I laid on patches of white clover.
Fervently Recycling the Other’s Energy
Birth of you
Your name was chosen
Before the stardust settled
Sight sound taste smell feel
Early morning barely dawn
Light that slowly wakes
The Bright Noon Sun
Gold and truth appears
Shadows flee and flowers bloom
In the bright noon sun
Shift In The Air
Hurry to gather
Before winter’s silent sleep
Life’s promised harvest
Through young tree-fingers reaching
What freed souls donate
Giving Birth Is…
To die to your old life, old self, and be born again.
To go through all the stages of learning, while teaching them.
To find a part of yourself you didn’t know you could love, amongst all that self hate you‘ve been holding.
To not be able to fully regret, regardless of the pain, all the moments that brought you to this one.
The closest experience to the natural processes that were meant to be our natural way of being.
(If you embrace it) - pure bliss.
I took for so long…
I didn't realize I was taking my own life away.
I idealized so hard-
I didn't realize I was leaving reality.
And then I knew.
And then a mirror was cast in front of me.
I gave all my life away lovingly.
I was loyal.
Even though it was not reciprocated,
Even though my efforts were cast away as meaningless,
& my love was called a lie.
I sit completely vulnerable.
I sit and wait for the universe-
to balance itself,
A Process of Becoming; A Process of Unraveling
Scratches and words crossed out.
Roses with dew drops,
Blood on the thorns.
Deepest of shadows and brightest of Light.
Heavy details on the left,
Vague shapes scattered through.
But then there's still quite a bit of white canvas,
That she hasn't gotten to~
There's deep grooves where the scrapers went heavily.
There's some watercolor that got washed out.
But my favorites are the outlines and words in black ink, they clearly show what the artist thinks.
Lovely, mediocre, unfinished work~
When I Listened
I heard my kidney’s telling me I was trying too hard to hide the sadness.
That I should let it show. Breathe through it. Feel it completely.
I heard my heart tell me I was trying too hard to ignore my needs. That I should tend to my deepest needs. I should be my own best care taker.
I heard my head scream to me “It’s too much to resolve in an instant, in a day”, “you don’t have all the pieces to this puzzle“,
“leave it for another day”.
My back said “I am ashamed”
and my chest said “I am afraid”.
I straightened my back.
I pulled my shoulders back and opened my chest cavity wide.
Exposed my heart.
I set goals for tending to my heart.
I breathed through it.
I let the tears fall & the sadness show.
Took off the tight shoes of pretense.
Shook off the stifling wardrobe of pride.
Now I dance,
slowly to the moment.