Displacement.
Four months ago,
my spine shivered.
It was cold.
Barely 2.5cm of snow, but 47 degrees
on a "sunny" day.
I felt the cold,
when the sun was at its zenith.
Today it is warm.
Spf gleaming like sunrise.
Dripping sweat -
perspiring in my black t-shirt.
7:00pm felt like noon.
The ritual doesn't end.
The sun encompassing
every kid zooming
on electric bikes,
every couple
on a picnic,
every car booming
with rock music at a traffic stop
with their anticipation-
every tree, flower, sidewalk,
every destination.
The sun was everywhere
Mocking me.
Shining a light that never belonged to me.
Sucking all the joy out of me
like my sweaty black t- shirt.
I am dehydrated.
Long hours of heat
a summer solstice
suffocating me on my walk home.
Theres a shadow looming over me in the summer.
I only feel winter.
envious of the sun...
envious of a life that's not mine
of a love that's not mine.
He's there in my mind
Blinding me .
I dont feel happiness
or joy
or anticipation ...
I feel 80 degrees in June.
