When I close my eyes...

I see the crystal clear sky, mimicking that of the lake I'm freely floating on. Around me, the Sakura trees towering over me.

I feel the forbearing wind gently caressing my face as the Sakura petals cascade down.

I hear the symphony of petals and grass, the wind, the cool water, susurrating forevermore.

I smell the sweet scent of spring grass filling my lungs with each heave of breath. Pure perfection.

As I close my eyes once more, I see everything. The establishment shot of my perfect scene.

Alone in solitude, unbound from the worries of everything.

I feel... free.

Perhaps one day, when I grow older, I‘d look back to this day and go: “Wow, you did it, little me.”

Perhaps one day, when I grow older, I’d look back to this day and go: “Thank you for everything, little me.”

Perhaps one day, just one day, I’d look back to this day, and yesterday, and the day before…

“I’m proud of you, little me.”

But today, as I grow older by the stroke of midnight, I don’t feel proud.

I don’t feel happy.

I can’t feel happy.

Maybe tomorrow will be a better day. Just, not today.

The opulence of nothingness that fills the gap between the celestial bodies of our galaxy is simply… nothing.

With the absence of molecules to carry our voices across space, it is irrefutable that the answer to what’s out there, far from the vast majority of other questions we tend to ponder on, is silence. It is quite comical to think that the word “space” is synonymous with “silence,” and that the boundless entity of everything-ness is sealed with the boundless void of nothingness.

That’s what I long for. Nothingness.

Unfettered and unperturbed; A place to truly be free from the buzzing and rustlings of everything. Somewhere to truly be released from the chains of everything, somewhere to find comfort in a place of nowhere.

Though our lives, undoubtedly short and meaningless, I simply wish to be voided and erased from the world, erased of existence, reduced to nothing.

I long for freedom.

I long to disappear, surrendering to the absolute of the starry abyss.