I was dead for a while. Working that 9-5 turns me inside out. By the end of the day slumped in the house on the couch with my soul coming out. Last thing was on my mind was writing. The creativity was dead rigor mortis, harder than my calcified pineal gland. On a serious note I was exhausted. Even with the full weekend my body doesn't feel fully recovered. Mind was pressured under the strain of meeting deadlines with no more money to gain. It is draining so being uninspired is a understatement. There's no time think.

I love you and you love me.

Nah let's just be who we're supposed to be.

I didn't win you. You didn't buy me,

We're not each other property.

I take my reality serious,

You live your life delirious like a game.

We are not the same.

What did I do so wrong?

Was it cuz telling you you're not strong?

Instead of acknowledging your differences and weakness.

You pretend and feign ignorance.

Please don't tell me you was always like these ladies that calls themselves women.

Passion and depths, like the ocean's depths, Are a mystery that's hard to measure. Their depths and their heights are unknown, But their beauty is something we can treasure. A deep and powerful force that is hard to grasp. It is a feeling that can consume us, Making us feel alive and vibrant. But it is also a feeling that can pull us under taking us to unknown depths. To something that we can never truly understand, But they are something we can appreciate and explore.

M.A.I

To live is to find out what that is. You the only one who knows it for whom. There was a time where I lived to give, living for everyone else before myself. I had to learn the hard way. If I kept going nobody have cared if I went to the grave. I forgave, but never forgot the lessons only you can get out of your lack of progression. I lived for myself and my possessions. I'm not sorry for being selfish because because when I wasn't your habits became more hellish. In the end I left it alone. I figured it's better to be gone ... I tried it and I survived the pit. That's when the lesson hit. You're the only one here nobody can see you. If it went through nobody would've knew. Thats when anger came back and said f*** that. This ain't s*** I ain't going out like that. Now at present I live a selfish man with nothing to give.

Walking through unknown lands with no plan. Riding in the ocean during high tides. Living this life with no skies. Heading across the border could it be his demise? Feeling that wherever one go, is where one was supposed to stay low. To his surprise he went out and life thrived. Going out drinking, partying and linking. Life started to look colorful again, until death took it all, family, companion, and friends. That's when depression started sinking in... Day by day, Night by night darkness slowly took over his only sight. The darkness drowned him, in so deep the nothingness couldn't have found him.

I'm tired of taking the verbal abuse with such nonsense Dr. Obtuse.

I'm tired of being misconstrued, but there's nothing I can do except look at you like you are a fool.

What's up with people attitude, because if it was your boss your lips would be zipped.

You say we cool, but you always switch up like the seasons for no reason.

This is why I don't chill with you. I can't trust someone who isn't persistent or consistent.

I'm cut from a different cloth I treat everyone the same no matter your position or the name.

I respect those who has essence and a backbone. Afterall most are cowards even with the gun, but I'm a undaunted one.

I stay to myself mostly because we too different but you ain't trying to listen.

You my people but I know your own people can snake you too. Usually that's how it happens to you.

If it makes sense why go to my family to know me. In my case doesn't make sense how can they know what they haven't seen or communicate with in 10 years. It's ridiculous if you doubt me that much then I shouldn't be bothered I'm me and that's all I need.

Reading a book that works your imagination. Discovering a world of dreams putting yourself in the MC shoes etc... Until interrupted by reality.

Listening to music that resonates with you make you bop your head faster dance a little harder, rap a little smoother. Helps you tune out everything.

Writing helps sorting out your day, dreams , feelings.

When I was boy I always wanted to live with my mother thinking I would be "happy". I assumed The Most High gave me what I asked for however it was nothing how I pictured it in mind. At first it was okay small talk getting to know one another. However, it didn't last long before the accusing, and arguing began. (Mind you I was a early-teen at the time). I went from wanting to see her to not wanting to be around her. Again I assume The Most High heard me again because I was kicked out sent into the system. For years I was good until my mother wanted to enter my life again. Mind you I still remember what happened and I simply didn't want to but was forced to at the time being a late-teen. Being in my 20s I lost my job due to Covid-19 happening and lost my apartment due not being to move due to covid restrictions. I reluctantly called her for help but my mother did help. Let me stay with her until I moved and got another job. I love my mother but her tendencies keep me away because I know her true nature how she is why she's that way etc ... But I advise that all grievances only matter while alive. Be grateful to your parents/guardians the world can be harsher without them. Ups and Downs and Flat- Lined.