They asked her,"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Her smaller, innocent self would reply, " I want to draw when I grow up."

"Draw, like an artist?" in a tone that implied that her answer was faulty.

But, she never completely comprehended the tone in their voices.

So she kept saying, "when I grow up I will be a ballet dancer, singer, and artist."

And then she became less small and less innocent.

And began to connect the dots.

Her fat Uncle was a doctor, and her slim cranky Aunty was a different kind of doctor, her rich Uncle was ,yet, another kind of doctor and cousin J and his condenscending brother were medical students.

She realized the correct answer to, "What do you want to be?" was, "I want to be a doctor."

And so she practised a lie and became a doctor. She stopped writing and drawing.

She swallowed her science textbooks, inhaled the content on "discovery health".

She memorized the symptoms of mystery diagnoses.

But, soon she grew and became less innocent and the lie became too weak.

The truth grew like a beautiful vine and suffocated the lies that strangled her passions.

However, the truth was also frightening and unappealing to her loved ones.

In her moment of utmost confusion, her heart spoke to her and said:

"I know its frightening; discovering that part of you that was suffocated by lies. That part that was suppressed. I am afraid to announce that the lies could not succeed for so long. I beat for you to accomplish these feats that you fear. Do not fail me."

So she stripped herself of the lies and followed her heart.

Olanna sashayed through the market center unaffected by the hard stares she received. She was too occupied with the business of ensuring his words sunk pass her skin and became one with her body to notice the stares. His words; silky, smooth,and honest. His touch brought heat to her heart. A heat as powerful as the rays of the sun that she felt at midday while she harvested yams.

As Olanna reminisced the day spent with her lover, she came closer to home. Home- the place where her mother lay fever laden ,immobile, dying. Olanna dreaded going home to see the face of the person who stopped her from remaining with him. Her mother despised him. She frequently reminded Olanna that she will die in the village if she remained with that man. She reminded Olanna that he could never find or afford a doctor who would heal her. Both were true, but so was their love.

When Olanna walked into her mother’s rooms, she shot up with renewed hope that Olanna would come home with good news. “Olanna, did you find a doctor in the city”, she asked? Olanna glanced at her mother who had now become one with the sheets. She glanced at her lips which were tearing from the accumulation of dry,dead skin. Olanna concluded that death had already laid a moist kiss on her mother’s cheek. Olanna grabbed her mother and folded her into an embrace. She arranged her mother’s bed and laid a final kiss on her mother. Her mother starred; and Olanna knew she was awaiting her answer. “No”, Olanna said confidently.

She felt no guilt in her decision to lay in his embrace, instead of; searching for a miracle doctor. Besides, if she found a doctor she could not manufacture enough money to pay for her treatment. After her father’s death, his family seized control of his finances leaving Olanna and her mother to fend for themselves. They left their city house and settled in the village surviving off the kindness of others and the harvest from their pitiable yam farm. Olanna thoughts were disrupted when her mother whispered, “Please sit ifunanya”. Olanna reluctantly turned around and placed the small of her butt on the edge of her mother’s bed.

And her mother began to describe her dreams as she always did.

“Last night, I had a dream. In the dream you gave me a kiss,but not a kiss that reminded me of the love we share. The kiss was cruel. A kiss that was willing death to come and take me. Afterwards, you walked away stoically; so, I followed you. I dragged my weak body across the floor, and you were completely unaware of my presence as your mind wandered to places I could not identify. I watched you dance across the floor of your room as you packed a bag. Yet, I did not believe you were leaving me. I assumed you were packing for a trip to the city to search for doctors. So, I lay on the ground smiling; waiting for you to pack my bags; but instead you tiptoed out the door. I sat on the ground awaiting your return; but you never returned because in my dream hunger summoned my death before you could return to me.”

Her mother drew closer to Olanna and affectionately said, “I know you would never leave your dying mother.” Olanna replied,“its simply a dream.” Olanna’s mother weakly smiled, and Olanna proceeded to leave the room.

Olanna reconsidered her decision to leave her mother, and concluded that it would be an abomination to abandon her lover for her mother’s love- a love that will soon die with her.

******

The next morning, Olanna’s mother sat awaiting a daughter who would never return. She sat awaiting a daughter who would fight any obstacle keeping her from her lover- even if that obstacle were her mother.