too little too late

not enough words to relate

learned to speak too late

body moves against Worm's will, on its own, muttering gibberish again, shaky hands a child with no mind, eyes see only blurry shadows blinded, her angry flames

I see you are still a worm, my friend, my lover. Worms don't live very long do they? I'm pretty sure they don't! Bless your heart. If I knew you were a worm I never would have brought you along. Ten years gone I'll step on your little wormy toes again, I don't even have to look! scum

Piss poor worm, don't speak with such hate

you learned too little too late

10-karat gold, a cold

gleaming chain of rope woven links

that she began when she grabbed my life

and linked it to her own

voiceless then,

until the end I followed and

was strung by hand (hers)

through oiled cloth

a decade long

for miles and miles

her laughter lit the chain afire

a burning pit

pure gold drip, a copper core

it was never good enough

I know, I swore

promised I was better, broken

harder, colder,

an alloy that held

bitter words

til brittle snapped

should have held your hand

reciprocated

my fault, your fault

our metal chain became a brand

love is a renewable resource

an aquifer buried, perhaps just west of our lungs

that we can can drain with reckless abandon

to give to people,

and things,

,, and more people

with questionable rights and, even more,

questionable motives

Crack shale, and pump in poison,

to find the latest dregs of emotion

hoping to keep

to own.

Once I gave,

two people, shining

the rights to a greater amount

than ever relinquished

before

A sun and a comet,

a queen and a sword

and the farmer

made three

and we would dole out

to each other

carefully unmeasured,

cups of our attention.

Pouring it where needed,

filling every hole

emptied by business owners

who by generational contracts

seemed to have bought our souls

love is a renewable resource

insofar as you filter its waste-

three wells brimmed with effluent

here a methane leak,

a horde of rats,

a pyre built of love and trash

A confession:

I hate to admit it affects me 5 years later. But there isn't anything as vulnerable as being young and in a relationship with two people who you've known almost your entire life. To have your lives intertwined, your dreams written together, your insecurities built on their words. I wouldn't be alive if we hadn't had each other. I can't help but wonder if our lives will ever cross again, even if I avoid thinking of them with all I have.

please go to sleep he wishes she wishes kiss on lips

please don’t listen let go let rest lie nothing changes, don’t get your esophagus in a twist it’s

quite, only temporary there’s nothing left to see so please

let quiet whirl silent air fill your thoughts, just nothing there

/ I’ll kiss it gently, the hole in your head /

it’s quite cute, that little hole in your forehead bare

so clean and drained of all things meaning less than what you’d said you promised

listen now, to only me that form is only

only warm when we’re together here forever blue depths

until her card expires

He waved and whistled and waved and wittled the beast until there was no more resistance against his fingers and his toes, he dug fingers into coffin soft flesh, toenails gripped long fibrous hairs left sticky

blue residue upon every near surface he

felt heartbeat rang mixed the sound of laborous tepid breathing screamed

he climbed and climbed to find the beast’s head but finding nothing nothing endless stinking hairs like anchored ropes endlessly extending outward clung to flesh for direction for purpose in the forest of dripping stinking hair

Pig insects clicked and spat they burrow through the meat around he climbs and climbs, rotten chunks they’ve chewed dangle from tiny spiral mouths filled with tiny blood stained teeth. Tiny fingers tiny claws on all six arms or legs they wave as rolling careening through trailing hairs and furrows of meat they collide with him, break his climb with all their strength

Light comes from above somewhere behind, below, above

?

the heartbeat echoes endlessly as his progress stops, unsure uncertain still breathing hard, choking on stagnant thick air that moves in no direction at all

the fleas pigs keep coming and he clings to flesh, lets his fingers then his arms, falls to his knees begins to sink, into soft red purple meat relieved he pushed, further in

wading slowly reaches his chin, takes a breath of rancid air

dives in theres nothing to see through the flesh caves behind him and murky currents draw him suck him deeper in

Soggy rat at waters edge beckons,

eyes black ears rotten

nubs which melt into matted fur floating

in water

/ come / it whispers, tail flick drop of water lands on cheek

you bend over the creek, purple

rock cuts into finger sharply

lose your balance fall too quickly.

Ice floods every nerve and sense they

/ welcome here

we swim and play, hear the water

feel it sway

around you taking wherever wants they,

hear it rumble hear it roar

above our heads in another world.

crack leads deep through pits of asphalt tar hot

and stick black walls breathe inward

outward gust of smoke rush upward

heaven,

sweet lilac clouds part there shes waiting

soft arms warm arms smells of tar arms nothing

better than soft sweet mirage arms can she hold

you down or drop you

back to earth where birth you came

from gentle soil earth embrace you

rebel fought thrashing, please don’t hold

on can’t be real the lie is better lies

are always better promise she whispers

tongue on ear love? even though

your flesh is melting every

skin she touches forgets to be

skin turns to mush black

smells like tar push

twelve stakes from the heart beating

too slow angel

Pins and needles pins and needles all the world fuck is g pins and needles voice or airplane stabbing needles bite or kiss bitch empty ballpit empty ballot less than 3 brain cells hay needles pins and oily cardboard box with mildew stomach lining pins and needle sharp blades of grass a thousand million million pins in velcro attacking ears and hand and eyes and hand and did you know how much surface area grass has pins and needles my leg is actually numb airstrike who spoke its someone important names are missing face is missing sound is missing drone in left ear scream in right tongue burnt on a breadstick burning branch hair straightener flavored rubber dick who lost its owner they hate me any way i go a pin andneedle on the clock paid by the year countdown to fuck

Thought you were a dog, she said, because i wanted a dog and you seemed like a pig but close enough,, she said i loved you for the way i made you feel, except now im sure you dont feel things so it doesnt hurt you like it should, when i tell you i don’t love you you’re supposed to seek me out,, she said i wanted a cute pet to give me everything i wanted but now that you’re a person i don’t want you piece of garbage, she said, all my work for waste i shouldn’t have given you treats, she said i found a new pet dog but now i wish I’d killed you not just let go of the leash.