Cold Calling: Truth in Advertising
"Hello. Is this Geraldo?"
"No, it's Gerard. Who's calling?"
"Hello, Gerald. Don't let the accent fool you; my name is, um, Eddie. I'm calling because you've been pre-approved for a low promotional interesting credit card."
"What's the interest, Eddie?
"Huh? Who?"
"Eddie--you!"
Thank you for that, Jerry. Yes. I'm Eddie. The interested rate is very exciting, because it's actually a minus interest rate. The more you charge, the less you have to pay. Sound of interest to you?"
"Sounds too good to be true."
"And too true, George. May I have your Social Security number?"
"Why do you need that?"
"Just a routine credit check."
"Why does my credit need to be checked if I'm going to get paid with minus interest for charging things?"
"Oh, you, know, all routine."
[CLICK]
"Hello, is this Mary?"
"Actually, my name is Mary-Anne."
"Thank you for that information, Marian. My name is, um, Freddy. Could I interest you in a lifetime supply for free gasoline?"
"I drive an EV, Freddy."
"Who? Oh, yes, I am Eddie."
"I thought it was Freddy."
"Yes--Freddy. Well then, would you be interesting in a lifetime supply of electricity? Please, just give me your Social Security number and I'll see if your number quantifies."
[CLICK]
"Hello, Dick."
"It's Richard."
"OK, Rick. My name is, um, well, it's Dick, too! How ya like that?"
"Dick, you called me. Tell me what you're calling for."
"Well, Ricky, I've been directed to notify you of an incredible offer you qualify for."
"I'm listening."
"I'm the conservative for a considerable amount of money, but I need someone to accept it into their bank account. We've got to move it for tax reasons."
"How much?"
"$30 million."
"Tell me more."
"Just give me your bank's routing and account numbers and your Social Security number and I can transfer the money right now."
"Right now?"
"Yes, while you're on the phone with me."
"OK, ready?"
The information was given.
"Please hold."
---
"Mr. Burubu!" Asmir shouted, "Mr. Dick's given me all the information we need!"
"That's great, Asmir!"
"OK, so what do I do now?"
"Make the transfer. That's what we promised."
"If only more people would believe me."