The Blues of the Affair
Graham Greene portrayed it best—
The fine line between love and hate
The pendulum of ecstasy and pain
Swinging between freedom and desire
A glass monkey chandelier waiting to crash—
I realized I only loved him
Because he loved someone else.
In the safe space, that is
Rejection pro hac vice
She murmured the phrase over and over
For only during this season did she
Sub-into something foreign
Something not hers—
He rested his head on her shoulder
She stroked his hair, they rarely spoke.
Like two mimes moving in the dark
Slowly and clumsy
Their intention was palpable but vague
Open to interpretation, she digressed
Into a cocoon of familiarity, and
Solidarity stood stoic—
Chaperoning from aside
The moon and the spring night
Warm like memories afraid to stay too long
Youth stumbled behind her, stubbing its raw toes and
The calloused knees of her history
Marched inward toward her mind.
She pushed loved back. And need, and—
Through the lacquer of passion
He never left.
Despite her flailing and pushing, and
The disconnect between her words and
Her action, he spoke louder than all
She loved him, and she hated him.
She was disgusted and turned-on.
But his grace spoke grandeur, and
She was addicted to it all.